Monday, December 04, 2006

simple day

yesterday I worked on a new 'avenue' of photography, maternity. I was awkward at first, took me HOURS to get my mojo, but by the end thankfully, it was grooving and while I didn't get to my third victim, she is rescheduling for today, I felt 'better' about it. more comfortable and seeing a sense of accomplishment.

not that I do not get a sense of acomplishment from the diet and weight loss, but it does not define me. today my daughter told me that I have no shape. that my butt is completely gone. it was a little painful. I have lost like 20 inches in the waist, it is extremely curvy IMO. but she doesn't see it because of the shirts that I wear really do hide it. not on purpose, just the way that it is. yes, I am not 'attached' to these since they will only last a few weeks. my doctor gave me the go ahead to start eating normally, to slow the weight loss down. that is going to be interesting, since I have been eating normally for weeks now and the weight loss has not only not slowed down, but speed up in the last week. freaking me out to no end. but still do not think that it is time to invest in clothing just yet. I do not think that he can sympathize, he is 6ft 4in, is 166lbs and has been a string pole his whole life. while he has loved me at all sizes. to his credit. he has some empathy for addiction, he would love to kill himself by eating chocolate, at the very least to TRY. such a dork. he may be a little less infatuated with the 'attention' that I am getting, after all, so many ask me how and why all the time and he knows that on some levels I would rather talk about my photography, since that more defines me than what or how much I eat.