The beauty of my body is not measured by the size of the clothes it can fit into, but by the stories that it tells. I have a belly and hips that say, "We grew a child in here," and breasts that say, "We nourished life." My hands, with bitten nails and a writer's callus, say, "We create amazing things."
I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.
Monday, December 31, 2007
What HAVE you been eating?
according to fitday.com
Calories Eaten Today
here is where I need to improve:
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Computer Crash 2007
12 months and 2 days after my last fiasco, I am happy to announce that my computer power supply caught on fire. AGAIN.
Fortunately, I have LEARNED a valuable lesson and other than a tiny heart attack, I am fine.
reason why? well one is that I have a laptop that is configured identically to my desktop so that my work environment is seamless. I literally unplugged my monitor, keyboard, and mouse from the desktop, into the laptop and I am back in business.
my files are primarily stored on my desktop on a separate hard drive, C:\ is for program files only. once I have 'built' my 'image' which is a clean install of all critical programs, then my husband made a copy so that he can copy it back over to any new hard drive, takes about an hour. instead of 22 hours of finding software and finding licenses and keys and stuff. I have since learned to keep all my goodies in one 'critical program files DVD' since most are downloaded, I created a section on my hard drive with folders for each program, and them downloaded the latest installation file for each and the 'key.txt' for each and I can get all my stuff on one dvd, which is handy.
the second tidbit that I have to share is that we integrated a RAID 4 last year, and while I still back up to DVD and keep a hard copy in a cd case, the files are all on the RAID in a back up that is run each night after 8 pm before I shut down for the night. so I have all my files stored off the hard drive as well, how in the world ANYONE could function without a redundant back up is beyond me.
now for cost: yes the desktop is $1K and yes the laptop is $1K and yes the RAID 4 is $1K but think about it. for $3K I have not had one single head ache/heart ache during this fatal situation. my house didnt burn down, that was a good thing. my files are all still there, that is a really good thing and no one but you and me know that this happened, so my client are not even aware that I had an hour of downtime while I was switching over from Primary to Secondary.
I am waiting for my Primary Camera to arrive next week, then my current Primary will be my Backup. then I can stop stressing all together.
Happy New Year to all and to all a Great Weekend!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
ttthhhbbbb someone vaccum for me
I am done shopping for the holidays. I am done decorating for the holidays and I have not even begun to cook for the holidays. which actually my family is happy that I am not making a big dinner. they love my cooking, but they do not really want a big spread. we are so un-american. ;)
I am still working my tail off, 3 days before Christmas and I am proofing my last group session. it is taking forever because I really didn't enjoy it and I really do not want to do another one.
I am still trying to get everything packed and in storage so that we can fix the house and put it on the market and move in 6 months. do not get me started on the stress of that endevour! I just want a nap!
Åsane, Bergen, Norway
Meanwhile. I have a house to pack, and a garage sale to prepare for. the mother of all garage sales in 2 months.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
three days and counting down
waited an hour and then did it again with Magnus at Target. by the time I was done with that and grocery shopping and shoe lace shopping, and LDS bookstore, I was too exhausted to do the last three errands, bank, photolab, and returns at walmart. maybe tomorrow if I get out of bed.
that is really nice that Naomi is a volunteer in the soup kitchen at church during the holiday season. it is a really good thing to do something nice for someone else just to be nice. I bet everyone that Naomi helped really appreciated it.
it was super hot here, nearly 80'F on Friday and then a cold from swept in last night with the rain and today it was two shirt and one coat cold. technically it is 69, but it feels like 49.
tonight we are having crepes and blueberries for dinner. very yummy. I was so busy today that I forgot about breakfast and lunch, nibbled on animal crackers for a snack, and am super hunger now for dinner.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Birthday.. just one more
my husband remembered right away, got me a lowepro camera bag. bless him.
told me that I must be 44, I said that was not funny, I said that Jasmine was moving back home, she said that was not funny. heehee I thought it was.
my grandmother called about 10 am, she is good about remembering.
my mom remembered by 2 pm. sent me an email. silly bug
as for my children and other friends.. all of them forgot but one lady from church that came over with chocolate and singing. it was too funny.
we had dinner at Sweet Tomatoes and I thanked each of my kids for coming to my birthday party and they all had a stunned look on their face. they hugged me and felt so bad that they had not brought a present or a card. so my daughter drove them home while my husband and I went out to see Golden Compass.
when I got home, the kids had stopped at the store, got me flowers, and made me homemade cards (which I appreciate more than the fakey store bought ones) and so it was still a good night. ;)
I am now 42 years old and that is sooo old that no one argues with you, they all just tell you okay and that is the way it is. ;-)
I really need to get some nice pictures done of me.tonight though, we finally finished our family project of the gingerbread house, complete with satellite dish.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Input/ Output Data Dump
Got all ready for my 8 am Senior Type Session for a lady that has made a tremendous change and lost over 100 lbs by diet and will power alone. Kuddos. we shot up 360 proofs so that I have some 'weeding' to do.
Babysat Jordan that was out of sorts all day, he would fall asleep on my chest as soon as I laid him down, he would wake up and fuss. very limiting. working on some collages for this client, that client and the other client. got my Christmas card designed and sent to the printers. will address them tomorrow. I had to load up Jordan, and drive over to DMV. Krys took a photocopy of her marriage certificate instead of the original certified copy, and well... you know.
I got all of my memory cards downloaded from this week, and backed up, just two more client folders and I will be nearly caught up.
I finally was so exhausted, I laid down and took a nap, Erik and Magnus woke me up 10 minutes later screaming my name, they didn't really need anything, just needed to make sure that even though the door was open, the car in the driveway, that I was home and available for them.
woke up again when Krys finally came in to get Jordan, who was done with his nap, even though Granny was not done with hers. I got some good REM sleep and woke up right at 5:30 in time for my 5:30 appointment, a cute little 10 month old. that went til 7 pm.
Nick came over and had spaghetti dinner with Erik and Magnus. Rushed off at 7:00 for Cub Scouts Caroling and subsequent holiday party. Finally got all the boys home, bikes back in proper garages, and the house settled for the night.
TOMORROW should be QUIET. no sessions scheduled.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
order the boudoir calendar... Vendor website being stupid and will not load properly.
computer being stupid and constantly locking up. Wonder if my computer will survive the holiday before I have to completely format the hard drive.
The bulk of the day was going to the store to get the food for the Norwegian Christmas party. and cooking the food and creating all the kits for the two Tiger Den meeting activities.
Opening Ceremony Sverre (Magnus Dad and Erik (Wolf Cub)give
a demonstration in Norwegian language for 5 minutes, answer
lots of questions about where Norway is, how many people
live there, and what people do there. and how it is like to
Norwegian Christmas baskets
Vafler (Norwegian Waffles with blue berries and raspberries)
Risgrøt (Norwegian Rice Porridge with cinnamon and sugar)
Hot Mulled Apple Cider
Christmas with Trolls
Norwegian Christmas Advent paper chain garland
Closing Ceremony with Gingerbread cookies
I still need to wrap christmas presents before the boys get too curious.
I can not find some of the items that I bought in Washington.
to much to do still.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Naughty Harley Davidson Session
I am good at them, but I spend way too much time on them, I am definitely going to have to increase my session fees. it takes me 4 hours to prepare all the sets for a boudoir session, and 3 hours to shoot it and 1 hour to proof it. and 1 hour to put all the sets back up. 3 hours for editing the images that go to print. 1 hour for the proofing session, so we are looking at 13 hours per session.
It is exhausting to say the least, and my day was totally shot once I was done for anything but tv vegging. ;)
Had to get my Monday client's files taken care of.. and my Sunday clients files taking care up, everything is a rush with the Christmas orders.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Good Morning Friends...
as with just about every aspect of my life, there are good days and there are not so good days.
just last week, I had a not so good day, and then again this week, a really negative day.
here is what I can say is my update at 19 months out...
I started out at 279 in March, 2006 (my highest was 285 lbs in 2001). I lost 27.5 on my own with the Adkins induction -0- carbs for 90 days.
I had a RNY with a mini (.5 oz pouch), I consumed 225 calories a day, still maintaining the Adkins diet, eating three meals a day of Lean Meats and Leafy Green Vegetables, and lost 4.2 lbs each week the first 90 days.
then as my pouch stretched from my increased consumption, the next 90 days my loss was 2.1 lbs a week over time, and while I started increasing my carb intake, as well as my volume intake, I was consuming 450 calories a day, still primarily protein and leafy greens, there were more 'sneaks' of carbs.
the third phase was the a continuation of the past, more food, more carbs, weight loss slowed down, and I ended up with a larger pouch, and was loosing 1.1 lbs a week, consuming nearly 900 calories a day, and a complete mix of food.
the only things that I can not possibly consider consuming at this time is:
greasy food like gravies
milk and cream products
when I "dump" I get the shakes, and the sweats, and I feel my heart racing. feels like a heart attack or a panic attack. if it gets really bad, I have to throw it back up. last week I had stuffing and gravy, and that was bad, but earlier this week, I had a piece of a nut go down that was not completely chewed up, and then everything that went down after was stuck, that is called a stricture. I puked and puked and puked until the 'chunk' came back up, and then all was fine.
My overall progress was a total loss of 130 lbs in 12 months. From a size 22/24 to a size 4/6 at 12 months out. I have maintained the loss for 7 months with small 5 lb fluctuation's throughout the month, but overall I am very pleased and would never go back and regret none of the limitations.
as for the blood work. yes, I just got that back, and most everything was perfect. more so than before surgery. however, four things came back that were unusual.
White blood count - low
Red blood count - low
RDW- low (anemia)
Vit D -very low (malabsorption)
as for the calcium.. I chew two chocolate sugar free chews a day, they are available from costco/walgreens. I need more Vit D, so out of the office and into the light. ;-)
as for my blog... http://www.wretchedheathen.com is the plug.
as for sugar.. SPLENDA... SPLENDA... SPLENDA... just accept it and learn to live. ;) I lost all my desire to eat ice cream, and now it is sweet and salty for me.
for the my tummy.. one some things.. like eggs and chicken, I still have about a 1/2 cup capacity. I have to nibble over a 1/2 hour to get two whole eggs down for breakfast. however... on the other side of the track.. I can eat an entire bag of Orville Redenbacher popcorn. I have no idea where it goes, but it does go down. I just chew chew chew really well and by the time I am done. I am satisfied.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
A nice quick dinner at Sweet Tomatoes, very special treat
memory cards from the camera downloading
waiting for the airlines to find my last bag that was left in Salt Lake City.
caught up with the boys' happening's while I was gone.
A mountain of bills gone through and sorted
now to get back on the Central Time Zone Clock!!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
cold cold cold
really cold... even with 4 sweaters, a scarf, a hat, and gloves, I am rarely warm. I have had the heater running constantly since I arrived. It has been running right around 32'F. We have had snow threatening all week.
The visit has been pleasant. Naomi has only had one thermal nuclear meltdown when someone told her no when she wanted to see a sleeping baby at Costco. We have had one over night, and that went well. She is in the 10th grade at the local high school. We went to the office here at Motel 6 and asked for a job application, and I helped her fill it out for fun. Her answers were so humorous. She would like to have a position where she folds towels. Her special skills are watching tv. She would like to make $.47 per hour. So obviously she is not quite ready for prime time.
Jazz and Pat drove over Thanksgiving day and we had a nice dinner at Granny's Buffet. She had her heart set on a photo shoot, which Pat was very cooperative with. We ended up with 23 really nice images for her to choose from for some large wall portraits and maybe even pulling from the last two shoots for her a Limited Edition Coffee Table book.
I just need to prod Krys into getting our current portrait orders processing before I get some really mad customers. ;)
Sunday, November 11, 2007
9 kids and not even a PARTY
had a mom over last night to preview her proofs. she brought her 2 year old
I had my two boys ages 6 and 8
Magnus had a friend over, Nickolas, who is Magnus 'BFF"
sverre invited a friend, who brought his7 and 9 year olds, the dad's left, leaving me with the kids
Krys was getting ready to go out so she left me with her 9 month old while she did her hair and make up
Jenna, who was going out with her, had her 17 month old and her 8 year old that was my 8 year old's BFF and they had a sleep over
so with youngest to oldest we had:
I got a little frazzled, so much so that I didnt even get a photo of all the kids, at the commotion in the toy room and had krys put on transformers to quiet everyone down. we had most everyone out of the house by 9 pm, narrowing it down to just 3 boys, two of which were MINE.
you should have seen the collection of SUV's in the driveway... Jenna has a Yukon, Krys has a Blazer, Chris has a Suburban, Nickolas's mommy and I have Honda Civics, and Walker's mommy had a truck, so we had a street full.
for adults, we had
Saturday, November 10, 2007
breast cancer support bugs me... I want to support HEART DISEASE AWARENESS
Tips & Warnings
- Know that in an emergency, or if an individual cannot make significant lifestyle changes, surgery or drugs may be appropriate interventions for heart disease.
- Remember that when you eat a meat-based diet that is high in fat, you stimulate the enzyme in your liver that stimulates your liver to make more cholesterol. Red meat, which is high in saturated fat, converts into oxidants such as iron, which changes cholesterol to a dangerous form.
- Despite all the good press, avoid olive oil. It is just as high in fat as the other oils.
- Check with your doctor before you partake in this program. This information is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice or treatment.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
a few more weeks
just a few more weeks and then I am off to see Naomi in Washington.
then after a few weeks with her, I am back home to get ready for the holidays.
I hope to pick up a few more session before Christmas
just a few hours each week taking care of grand baby Jordan
and then a few weeks to get the house ready to put on the market.
a couple of things to wrap up with scouting
then a few weeks until it is time to take spring photos of the daycare kids with the easter bunnies
and then a few weeks until it is time to pack and go back to Washington for the summer
and for Sverre to take the boys to Norway. I will join him at the end of the summer..
a couple of things to wrap up with the photography business
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Brittany Spears for Halloween
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Self Worth.. Remember Yours!
I was sincerely nervous that I had forgotten most of my forestry college education. I stressed and finally put together a packet to help them. and by the time I was done, I felt really good that I had not forgotten, that I am not a total fraud, and that I was able to do my best.
it is really easy to forget who we are, what our talents are and what we can accomplish when to often people that are really just stupid and selfish unload their problems on us. try to drag us into their drama and it completely undermines our own self confidence.
I need to remember that I am very special and that I am really quite brilliant. I was able to keep 10 wiggly 10 year olds and 5 grown up completely focused on the assignment for 1.5 hours and get the job done. I just had to relax, and remember that I am an amazing person.
I think that you are pretty brilliant as well!
Webelos Forestry Pin
I created a packet that has color examples of the local flora. Pictures of tree rings. and diagrams of the layers of a forest. we covered everything in one hour and I felt that I remembered a lot of things about forestry that I was afraid that I had forgotten.
I am seriously thinking about making more packets and doing this more often. the boys were very attentive and the whole presentation went very well. I miss forestry on some levels.
tree rings summary
My notes included the following:
Cub Scouts are our future Leaders
Future Leaders need to develope reverance for the land and its resources
always remember to 'leave no trace'
standing in a park, remember that Urban forestry is just as real as the forest that are in our national forests.
a forest contains:
with these 5 critical items, there is an indicator of the health of the area that benefits humans as well as the environment.
(2) tree / shrub layer map - label (sitting at picnic tables)
Adventure - Treasure hunt:
(3) find and identify using the booklets, 6 trees,
talk about how trees benefit wildlife by offering shelter away from pedators and dead trees offer homes to endangered species like piliated wood peckers and spotted owls. how trees provide oxygen and shelter.
(4) find and identify using the booklets, 6 forest plants
how plants offer food to deer and elk and how even a forest fire can help replenish those grasses by releasing nitrogen back into the soil for the next growth of grasses. and how the shrubs and grasses offer shelter from predators to mice and squirrels.
talk about how evaporation at the edge of the forest limits growth, and how direct sunlight at the edge of the forest causes sunburns on leaves. how cypress live in the water and need 'toes' and 'knees' to breath when all the roots are under water.
Back to tables for Tree Rings
(6) life history in tree rings
identify the 'birth' year and the ring of the class average birth year on the tree ring (about 10 rings in from bark) locate and identify the heartwood, the sap wood, the pith and the phloem.
center a small core of pith formed when
the tree was a sapling. Then comes a cylinder of dark dense wood --
the heartwood -- with annual rings which are often very narrow near
the core because as a youngster it grew in the shade of older trees and
did not get enough light. Surrounding that is a collar of lighter-colored
wood -- the sapwood -- with a smaller number of rings. Beyond that
and just inside the rough outer bark is a spongy layer of inner bark
called the phloem.
(9)Finally we talked about the wildfires in California and how Native Americans would burn in the spring while the ground was still damp, the grasses and bushes, removing the step in the ladder, and thus reducing the fire hazard. without the bushes step, the fire can not get to the forest tree layer, and jump from crown to crown and thus kill the whole forest. how after a pine beetle infestation, a fire is a healthy way to treat the forest.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
I have a monster session to proof... 481 images, I want to only show the best 75
Jordan is being a total whiney butt, really getting on my nerves lately because he thinks that he needs to be held 24/7. I pick him up about every 20 minutes, hold him until he starts getting into stuff, and then put him back down. eventually he will learn to play on his own.
he is crawling like crazy. and pulling up on everything, he is advanced like his mom and will be an early walker if he gets enough floor time.
took the family sans Sverre camping, made a butt load of smores.
we went really fancy marshmallow forks that work well for hot dogs as well. had so many smores, that now my whole colon is screaming at me. ;) good news is that I am still at 146 lbs.
speaking of camping.
we got a new tent (10x13). and while it is better for the space on the floor, it doesn't retain the body heat as nicely as the smaller (6x9) one did. the boys had a blast hanging out with all the other cub scouts and the lake was beautiful.
still having issues with Krys not wanting to put more of her stuff in storage, she truly doesn't have the room in her two rooms for it all and she has a 10x20 storage with tons of room that is only .9 miles away so it is not like she has to drive or anything to get something. very frustrating. I took another load over last night from the garage, I really need to be able to get to my studio equipment and she is totally blocking me.
the current book that i am reading is called dragonfly in amber, it is the first sequel to Outlander and is just as good as Outlander although in a different way. While Outlander focuses on the romance of Claire and Jamie this book focuses heavily on the political aspects of the time Claire has traveled back to.
I also need to edit some more of the 'class' photos from the school that I did last week. so I really shouldnt be peeking through the campout session, huh?
Monday, October 29, 2007
during my discussion with the supervisor, the wife again eavesdropping, interrupted with her defense of her spouse. of which was not a solicited response and totally unnecessary. Immediately, I determined if her husband was antagonistic #1 or antagonistic #2. She verified that he was #1. I promptly informed her that he was not the topic of discussion and that since this was not an open forum, her commentary was not necessary, nor welcomed. I also explained that should she continue to voice her opinion, I would have to remind her that in deference to the rules of parliamentary procedure, as that her comments added no value to the discussion, the chair would not recognize her or listen to her tirade.
I swear, the drama at social event with adults is just never ending.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Lake Livingston, Texas
Sunrise over the lake
Tiger Cubs participating in Physical Fitness badge
Magnus competing in the Raingutter Regatta
Lake Livingston, Texas - Trinity River Authority
Erik winning the Raingutter Regatta heat
The regatta boat kit, available from the Scout Shop, has a pre-shaped balsa hull, metal keel and plastic sail. The hulls are sanded and shaped, and are colorfully painted. Hull and sail are then decorated with decal kits (also available at the Scout Shop). The boats race in pairs on raingutter courses propelled by the boys blowing into the sails.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
AWE... That is sweet...
Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was 'Information Please' and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone's number and the correct time.
My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbour. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy.
I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear. 'Information, please' I said into the mouthpiece just above my head. A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear.
'I hurt my finger...' I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough now that I had an audience.
'Isn't your mother home?' came the question.
'Nobody's home but me,' I blubbered.
'Are you bleeding?' the voice asked.
'No,' I replied. 'I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts.'
'Can you open the icebox?' she asked.
I said I could.
'Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger,' said the voice.
After that, I called 'Information Please' for everything. I asked her for help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.
Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called, Information Please,' and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, 'Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?'
She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, 'Wayne always remember that there are other worlds to sing in.'
Somehow I felt better.
Another day I was on the telephone, 'Information Please.'
'Information,' said in the now familiar voice. 'How do I spell fix?' I asked.
All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I missed my friend very much. 'Information Please' belonged in that old wooden box back home and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me.
Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.
A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle . I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialled my hometown Operator and said, 'Information Please.'
Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well. 'Information..'
I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying, 'Could you please tell me how to spell fix?'
There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, 'I guess your finger must have healed by now.'
I laughed, 'So it's really you,' I said. 'I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?'
I wonder,' she said, 'if you know how much your call meant to me. I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls.'
I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.
'Please do', she said. 'Just ask for Sally.'
Three months later I was back in Seattle . A different voice answered 'Information.' I asked for Sally.
'Are you a friend?' she said.
'Yes, a very old friend,' I answered.
'I'm sorry to have to tell you this,' she said. 'Sally had been working part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died
five weeks ago.'
Before I could hang up she said, 'Wait a minute, did you say your name was Wayne ?' 'Yes.' I answered.
'Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called.
Let me read it to you.
The note said, 'Tell him there are other worlds to sing in.. He'll know what I mean.'
I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.
Never underestimate the impression you may make on others..
Whose life have you touched today?
Monday, October 22, 2007
okay for a day or two
Townhouse Built in 1982 - 3 bedroom and 2 bath - 1679 sqft
Individual house built in 1997 - 5 bedroom and 5.5 bath - 4808 sqft
Thursday, October 18, 2007
talked until 2 am
had another long talk with sverre about 'stuff' and he is adamant about moving, he truly hates texas but we are not even going to put our resumes until after jason has a permanent duty station and krys is settled.
mean while today I am going to finish picking up the house, it has really 'gone to hell' in the last week with my 'other job' as a mom with a camera. while krys is at work, I will sort through her 'treasure' collection and move it to storage so that we have enough room to move through the house, that seems to be sverre's second worse issue, the first being the number of days that krys's dogs were here while we found them a suitable place to stay.
we have lost power here three times in the last two days which has cut into my photo processing time. I have 50 parents that are really looking forward to the pictures. one mom, Cole's mom, told him that if he didnt smile for his pictures that he could not go hunting with his dad at the deer lease and that she would give him a spanking when he got home. I felt so bad for the little guy (3 years old) that we worked REALLY hard to make sure that he got a photo and not a butt beating last night. he finally warmed up and took his picture. heehee
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Krys has always dominated a lot of my time, Grandbaby Jordan has encroached significantly. I watch him about 40 hours a week. I am the cub scout den leader for Magnus group and between him and Erik, it is much more than just a couple of hours a week. I just finished sewing on the boys's patches for their uniforms, that was a chore. I have been doing a little tutoring of the boys in their homework that doesnt always make sense to them. naturally there is the various thankless jobs around the house like completely striping out the refrigerator and washing it down, completely packing up krys's house and moving it to storage, and making beds, loading and unloading the dishwasher, photographing friends and family. OH somehow I got volunteered to take the PACK 1550 Cub Scout Photo. 97 boys, and they wiggle a lot. we had a field trip on monday, and we are going camping in two weeks.
my photography business is coasting and that is not a good thing financially but fantastic considering how much time everyone else in my life DEMANDS.
last night I had a long drawn out conversation with my husband about the choices that I am making, he feels that I am not contributing enough around the house. that I do not help out with putting the boys to bed or get them up for school or whatever. yesterday he was in such a bad mood that he kicked my chair while I was talking to a client and essentially said that I didnt get the taco shells when I was out shopping as if I was an incompetent idiot. I was not at the 'proper' store for those items and I know that I if I fail to get the EXACT item that he DEMANDS, then I might as well not have done it at all. it is exhausting living up to his expectations. the current hissy fit is that krys lives with us now that jason has joined the military and that all her stuff SMELLS like mold. and that her dogs that he was adamantly against staying with us are still here because the person that we made arrangements with turned out to be a full fledged FLAKE! so we had to rescue them in the middle of the night so to speak. HE thinks that I am not working enough on my photography business and yet I am wasting the planets resources to drive 75 miles to the jobs that I am able to secure. I swear! but I am starting to rant.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
I have been working more, not every day, but about three days a week, which is just about right, just enough stress without driving me to drink.
went shopping today, got some odds and ends to take the boys camping in a couple of weeks. fancy smancy wienier roasting sticks and propane bottles for the coleman stove. packed up the paper plates and plastic forks in my camping kitchen box. got the little ketsup and mayonaise packets. this girl does not 'rough it'
krys is completely out of her house and totally in our house or storage and we are 'shuffling things' to get everything to fit. she is settling into the house and learning not to snap and snarl at me too much.
I have a cough, she has a cough and the baby has a cough. yeuck. the house looks like a Cat 5 hit but right now I am down loading memory cards from this mornings shoot, I would guesstimate that I had 12 little clients. 36 on the agenda tomorrow.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Fall Campout at Wolf Creek
1 bedroll / person
1 sleeping bag / person
1 pillow / person
1 propane stove
2 bottles of propane
1 mess kit / person (plate, bowl, cup, fork, spoon, knife)
1 wienie / marshmallow stick / person
1 camp chair / person
1 teddy bear / person (we have issues in our family)
wash pan / towel /
for food, we are packing light but essentials:
Bisquick premeasured mix in a bottle, just add water, spatula
Peanut Butter * Jelly * Bread
wieners & buns and individual condiments (McDonalds)
Marshmallows * Graham Crackers * Chocolate
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Just Say No?
if I go to an established in network provider, they have not been charging me the deductible, if I go to someone (like current surgeon for well visits) they have a $600 deductible (advertised: $300 deductible if in network) since I went once at my 12 month post op visit and all we did was talk about the blah blah blah that I already know. I figure that I will save the $300 office visit,,,
I AM SERIOUS, St Laurent charged me $300 for the office visit. there was NOTHING WRONG with me.
I am just going to get my lab work done at my Rheumatoid Specialist and read my own results. what a pile of hooey. I just called today and canceled, they seemed surprised that I didn't want to fork out another $300 for a visit. tthhbb
use the money on something practical like visitation to see darling daughter #3. seriously, my plane ticket into a Podunk regional airport (notorious for being over inflated) was cheaper than the office visit.
as for the weight, it has bounced up and down, currently it is at 146, which is right in my comfort zone, 1 lb less would be hysterically nice, but not a goal. I have been munching on carrots and apples to get it back down from 152 of last week. No goofing off in this house. I worked too hard to get here.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Totally Venting.. refraining from all caps
when moving day comes, I hire a truck, and 4 loaders. they come and it takes about 4 hours to load everything and then I pay them and leave. when I arrived at my hesitation, I hire 4 unloaders, and it takes about 2 hours to put everything in the house and I am done. I get the loaders from where-ever I am renting the truck, and they usually deliver or return the truck for me. it is extremely convenient and they usually work for beer money. Where ever you find rental trucks, you will find "good ol boys" willing to help a girl out.
however, my daughter. oh gracious. my daughter. still has not finished packing and the truck has come and gone. she has had three months to prepare. she has had months to get ready. she has put off everything until the last second. she still has not packed up her ever loving bed and dresser.
Friday night before the truck arives, she should be packing, she wants me to watch her baby and someone eles baby while she goes out to a movie. I have been watching her baby every day for the last week, sometimes over night for well over 18 hours. I say no. she thinks I am being rude. I think that she is insane for going out to a movie when she is supposed to be PACKING!
I tried to help this week, but she just dwaddles. they were supposed to be out of the house on the 1st and use this week to clean. I hired a truck on the 6th, brought it with me, and she was packing boxes and I was packing boxes and we did not utilize all the head space. we got 'most' of the furniture in, all of the 'heavy stuff' but it should have been a one shot deal. load it to the top, haul it over in one shot and be done with it. now there will be several trips with the truck to get everything moved over. what a PITA.
but at least I do not feel obligated to help out other than getting the damn truck unloaded and back to the store.
now for the truck... she swore it was broke down, that the ignition wire was loose. well I picked her up and drove her to work, picked her up and drove her to lunch, and drove her home from work for a week because I am a door mat. Talked to Jason, figured out that it was just out of gas. filled the tank up and now it runs fine. what a PITA.
the truck is fully loaded, ready to be unloaded, but she couldn't do that last night, she had made plans to go to the bar and that takes precedence! nope, I can pay $20 for another day rental, just so long as she can go to the bar with her friends. since the dolly HAD to be returned by morning, I started to unload the dryer and the refrigerator that MUST have a dolly and she threw the worse kind of fit. she is so inconsiderate that I can not image getting through the next 4 months without killing each other. it will be horrible at best.
she can not pack, she can not maintenance a truck. she is rude and obnoxious. where did I go wrong?
Jason got mugged last night, he was held at gun point and they stole his wallet with $26 and both kid's ID, and social security card and military id card. and lighter. good lord. they had no freaking business being out last night, they SHOULD have been PACKING!!!
now today we are supposed to have a leisurely goodbye brunch and photo shoot, but I doubt that will happen, I feel like I am in the car with Ray Charles driving.
Friday, October 05, 2007
back on the scales
got krys's storage signed yesterday, she can now start filling it up and getting out of her house. I am seriously considering moving my entertainment center out of her room, there is just no room in there. she needs to move in the crib and a queen size bed and dressers. augh.
breakfast, I really tried, I hard boiled 4 eggs, but they are still in the pan. I made some tea and drank most of it, so I am hydrating. AF seems to be leaving, yahoo!
oh check this out... crap.. it has already slipped my mind. what is up with that? I swear, one minute I have a thought, the next it is gone. poof. there is a little twinge behind my right eye, must be a brain cramp. heehee
okay, so the house is not going to clean itself. I am getting caught up on my tv shows. but ultimately, I am just procrastinating about getting my fall promotion out too all my customers. bad bad bad kitty kat.
just one more thing
pick Krys up for lunch, get lunch for Jason, Krys, and me from subway, pack up 1/4 of Jordan's room, load it in the car, strap Jordan in, drop Krys off at work, sign the lease on the 10x20 storage unit.
Drive home, unload the car, feed Jordan, rock him to sleep, print out two invoices, clean off my voice mail, make notes, call back my customers, and eat 1/4 of a chocolate chip cookie. I did clean the floor off in Jordan's Cubbie Hole, made him a grape juice bottle but he totally does not want it. need to make him a MILK bottle. fine.
Krys needs to get her tail in gear on her packing, oh and did I mention, that she is 14 days LATE? oh crap! Jason leaves tonight to go 'DOWN TOWN' for his MOMENT OF TRUTH in his enlistment process. His FAREWELL luncheon is here Sunday, and he DEPLOYS Monday Night.
Now the boys are home from school, Jordan is up from his nap, I still have not made a dent in the office that is quite possibly the results of a Cat 5 Hurricane or at the very least a F5 Tornado that has hit. WHAT A MESS!
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
DOWN ON THE FARM
Kole, Nathan, Magnus, Caleb, Liam, Seth, & Noah.
we worked on our Bobcat achievement, the pledge, the salute, the handshake, the motto, the sign. we had a bean / paper towel / zip lock baggie / water activity, hope to get some sprouts.
we did a word search. and we had oreos and milk for snack. Yumm.
same ol same ol
last night went to a nice concert, www.visionsofatlantis.com opened and I really liked them, http://www.epica.nl/ were okay, but too much growling.
a couple of weeks ago, we went to see/hear http://www.leaveseyes.com/ and they were really good, but completely were blown away by http://www.kamelot.com
now I am checking out a couple of new recommendations, http://www.sonataarctica.info as well as http://www.mortenveland.com/sirenia/ and http://www.tristania.com/, each have at least two songs on their latest cd's that I like. so I am sure that they will grow on me.
as for food. breakfast, I had a muffin, lunch, a bowl of chicken noodle soup, after noon snack a bunch of Kettle Chips, and dinner was single corn hard shell taco with beef.
boring but no getting sick.
emailed my little cubbies a reminder that we have cubscouts today.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Happy Birthday to Erik
Nick, Luke, Allie
Ruggie, Anna, Angelica
Brandon & Hannah
we decorated brown sack lunch bags for taking home 'gifts & prizes' with markers, stencils and paper punches. the 'prizes' were fruit snacks from Ausome Fruit Candies, pencils, hot wheel cars, hair accessories.
we played a game where you pass a wrapped present around a circle while singing happy birthday, when you stop singing, you unwrap the present, inside is another wrapped present. and you start over until you get to the last present and that person gets the prize, we went around 5 times.
he blew out the candles on a chocolate cake with spider man on it.
one of his gifts was silly string, and they had a blast with that in the back yard.
the last game we played, erik was blind folded and had to guess who was the poor kitty that was meowing, he guess all the guys easily, but it came down to the last three girls that he couldnt tell apart.
he set up a target in his room with the white board and used markers to make a bullseye to target practice with his foam dart gun.
he got some kewl car toys, a shadow the hedgehog game for his gamecube, and the highlight was the Ninetendo DS Lite with games (Brainage II, Harry Potter Order of Phoenix, Hannah Montana, Dogz, Pokémon Diamond Version, Pokémon Mysterious Dungeon - Blue Rescue Team, SimCity, from both grandparents and some Osbourne books.
Friday, September 28, 2007
stripe of miracle whip
1 perfect scrambled organic egg (one curd, truly an art form)
and smoked salmon
YUMMY and holy cow, protein up the waazzoo!
last night was supposed to be a pleasant family dinner out.
I started with the salad and did fine, at a whole plate of it and should have stopped when I was ahead. but no. not me. I am more of a special needs child and just can not learn from my mistakes. my middle name is 'tard. I went back for seconds. that is right. idiot alert. I had a small ladle of clam chowder. (yep, lactose intolerant, but I am an idiot) and I had small scoop of tapioca pudding, now we are pushing the envelop for carb-fest, and I had a dollop of vanilla soft serve on top of the chocolate brownie, in my defense, I did not have more than two teaspoons of that stuff. but with the pasta from the salad, the pudding, the soup, I went into carb-toxic-shock and felt like fainting. this was on top of being just physically EXHAUSTED from watching Jordan all week, while he and I were both sick with head colds.
I went home and died. then Krys called and wanted me to watch Jordan while she went to the bar, she had already scheduled Joan the other grandma to watch Jordan while she goes out Saturday night and me to watch Jordan while she goes out Sunday night. I flipped out and lost it. I have been watching his whiney butt all week, and I really didn't want to see or hear from him for 24 hours, just so sick of the whine. she really got mad at me for snapping her head off and hung up. I went to sleep.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
diet honeymoon ends.. return to reality
yesterday was a HORRIBLE stricture day.
today was interesting
cream of wheat
24 oz tea
lunch: (sample tables at grocery store)
micro slice of pizza
2 cheery tidbits
6 oz tea
1 hardshell chicken taco with cheese, sour cream, and mushrooms
16 oz propel
28 oz tea
3 chocolate / caramel covered peanut clusters
overall weight, up to 150.5 lbs which is still only .5 lbs over goal weight, which can easily be dismissed as not a danger to have a fluctuation, or accepted as part of the extra skin hanging around. but it is still a danger signal that the chocolate has to go, and the veggies need to come back. so the 'majic' wand waving is over, now it is all about self control, good choices, and while I still only consume SMALL portions, never get in more than ONE slice of pizza or ONE taco, I can still gain weight. and that is taking some getting used to. my body is just not psyched out anymore and insists on holding on to any empty calories.
The shameless hussy!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
letter to the school
Letter FROM the school:
Erik continued minor misbehavior.
Erik left the cafeteria during lunch and did not return to the class until more than 10 minutes after we returned to class. he did not return even when I sent another child to get him.
Erik will miss recess today, Monday and Tuesday and will write restroom rules.
My Letter TO the school:
I am constantly amazed at how ignorant some people are about health. I find it completely barbaric that anyone would find it acceptable to restrict a child to a set schedule for bodily functions. I find it completely brutal to discover that someone would punish my child for taking too long in the lavatory performing defecation.
Let me assure you that I will not under any circumstance condone or allow that type of behavior to continue to endanger the health and well being of any of my children. Your policies are beyond unconscionable.
Erik, and his brother Magnus, have been steadily working to heal the damage that was inflicted upon them during the 2006-2007 school year. Constantly holding bowel movements created such a health hazard to them, that they are now on a continuous regime of pharmaceuticals to aid them in the most basic of bodily functions.
I can not begin to relate to you what terror it elicits for a parent when your child has difficulty moving their bowels. Comforting them at home with tears streaming down their cheeks, as the toilet bowl fills up with bright red blood. When they return home from attending a public institution with dark crusts of blood on their bottom, and bloody streaks in their underwear from such excruciatingly painful bowel movements.
While my children are now currently under a doctors care, and have been for over 12 months to correct the damage that was inflicted upon them last year, I can not believe that any sane human being would write them up for “CONTINUED MINOR MISBEHAVIOR” for taking extended periods of time to endure such torture.
Erik had to drink dose after dose of Krysalose for months earlier this spring, Now he will be trying Polyethylene Glycol daily to assist him in having a bowel movement. It still takes a very long time for him to pass a stool. To restrict him to a time table is completely reprehensible, if he has to push for 30 minutes, he better be allowed to continue in the restroom without being harassed and harangued.
I have discussed this with his father and his pediatrician. We are all in concurrence.
It is beyond our comprehension that any civilized adult would punish a child for 'taking too long' to have a proper bowel movement. Natural body functions may not coincide with the 'classroom schedule', but they will take presidence. That is something that is not open for discussion, debate, or negotiation.
Whomever policy it is to rush a child back to the classroom before they can complete the task, needs to re-evaluate their priorities, as this policy has already created serious health issues such as internal hemorrhoids, anal fissures and possible colon polyps in my children. Do not think for a single moment that I will allow anyone to jeopardize their health for single second.
If at any time the staff at this school has a problem with either of my children taking too long in the lavatory, you are instructed to call me, so that I can take time off, drive over there, and ensure that they continue making progress to undo the destruction that has already been done. That way the staff can go back to doing whatever the flip they think is so freaking important, and I can protect my children in the state mandated public education facility.
And as for my response to the Office Referral:
NO you may not punish and publicly humiliate him for taking too long in the lavatory. And You definitely will NOT make him write restroom rules unless it is to rewrite the current one that I find to be deplorable at best and infinitely intolerable.
to get so righteously indignant as to say to my face that I was the most .. goodness.. there are just no words to describe the 2 hours of abuse that I received in the office from that principal.
first I OFFENDED HER DELICATE SENSIBILITIES by describing what happens when my sons have difficulty with a bowel movement and that I was way to graphic to share that with a teacher or an administrator. that should be private and that I was harming the children by telling someone other than the family doctor about it. so I am SHARING TOO MUCH INFORMATION.
I did not DOCUMENT enough of the pre-existing condition by SHARING what medications the boys were on LAST YEAR, and EVEN THOUGH I did send a two paged typed document regarding MAGNUS condition this year, and had only shared his struggles last year VERBALLY, I WAS not DOCUMENTING on the MEDICAL CARD a REFERENCE to the TWO PAGED Document.
HEADMISTRESS was so condescending and rude with her innuendos that she was dumbfounded that I could have a so little tact and while she recognized that I was angry and upset, she totally felt that her administration was not to blame. after all they didn't KNOW that the boys had problems with constipation and it was not THEIR fault that I had not effectively COMMUNICATED that to all the principals.
in the same breath, she did pointedly say: I was not to contact anyone but her about an issue, that I was not to share medical information with a teacher. (who the bloody hell is going to tell the teacher if I do not?) the Nurse? I told her verbally about Magnus, mailed her a letter, and the Music and PE teachers STILL made him wait to use the toilet when he had to defecate.)
the administrator just keep badgering for hours, and I am not kidding, HOURS, I arrived at 9:30 am and left at 12:15 pm, regarding how intensive I was to share the boys medical problems. that I should be ashamed to have done so. and that I should keep medical problems PRIVATE. and that I should explore my options to home school the boys since I disliked their policies so much.
She was totally belligerent when she stated that all the kids can use the lavatory when every thy want, and then added, well except the pre-K and that K and the First and Second graders, they all go together as a group to the lavatory, and completely cut me off when I tried to say, THAT is the POINT, I have a first and second grader and waiting until the whole class goes, is CAUSING THE PROBLEM.
She was beyond furious that I wouldnt call her administration first to talk about the office referral, when I pointed out that the referral was written documentation and proof enough of the school's position. it stated that this had happened before, that Erik had been in the bathroom for long periods of time and no one had notified me, and that if it was boys playing, she should have stated that on the referral. and she could have easily and happily strangled me for CC'ing the school district superintendent.
oh and check this out, she said that in her 60 years as a mother and a grand mother and her 37 years as a teacher and educator she has never in her life been so shocked by a parent who would have shared such private information and would communicated things that should remain private. I resisted the temptation to say "that she really needed to get out more". I did however tell her I do not believe that problems are solved by hiding them. I refuse to sweep something under the rug. If my two boys have had a problem with constipation from holding it until it is convenient to take the whole class to the lavatory, how many other children have?
She wanted me to fill out a medically fragile form, to facilitate SOMETHING. I wonder if it is just to say cover her butt that way she doesn't have to make a policy change that would benefit all children? Instead to treat my children as an exception rather than address rule that is causing the problem?
she was extremely beligerent when she viciously went on that there were other children in the school that were much more medically needy with issues like asthma and diabetes. and that I should be ashamed of myself for causing so much fuss. that some children have to take enzymes with every meal. HELLO. that must be Benjamin Nichols, yes, I know Butters, I have given him the enzymes when I babysat him. OH, well, you could have knocked her over with a feather.
I swear, the condescension used to annoy me, but the verbal sparing was quite something coming from someone of her 'age' if not maturity was surprising. I could clearly see some of her manipulation, she wanted me to get angry enough that I threaten to pull my children out of the school, and I totally could see through it, then she would not have to deal with me. I surprised myself by not falling for the ruse. usually I would be so angry, I would get sucked into the drama, an could have made the threat, but it was as if I was having an out of body experience. I could see her machinations and just laugh at them, they were so manipulative and I was for the moment at least impervious. that is a good milestone for me. not to get sucked into the drama.
now I have to write up something for Erik as well as magnus, get documentation from the pediatrician and create a paper trail. oh and get this......
SHE HAS MADE A FILE with all my letters, and she is KEEPING all my LETTERS in that FILE. and she is going to KEEP THAT FILE. oh bloody hell!! someone needs to get a flipping life.
As for the boys, she is going to insist that they use the nurses lavatory and have a nurse supervise thier bowel movements so that they are not PLAYING in the restroom. HELLO that was the WHOLE FLIPPING OBJECTIVE was to facilitate that they can go when they want to go, and take as long as they need to get it out, and not have teachers and other students pestering them while they GO!!! she acted like it was a consequence instead of a reasonable solution to problem.
SWEET MOTHER OF GAWD!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
but I am perseverring and nearly ready for photo-op of the progress. my office is 90% moved over, my room is TRASHED though with my personal photo project and a butt load of frames that I need to garage sale since we do not do 8x10's around the house anymore.
I still have to order two orders of prints, but since they will not hit production before 11 am tomorrow, I will let them 'sit' for now.
now back to work to get the rest of my office moved over, the boys room cleaned out and then the 'next part' of the project which is organizing my mini projects in my office so that I can actually TACKLE them this month.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
I toddled off to training and while I was overwhelmed during the first 'overview' session, I was completely calmed down and more prepared after the after noon tiger specific session. I am pretty sure I know what to do to get through the first couple of months now, which is a good thing.
It is really important to motivate the boys to complete this to teach them self respect and self discipline and self confidence. I just hope that I am able to absorb all that I can to enable them to be all they can be. I got several compliments about my photography and that gave me a boost of self esteem and self confidence. very nice.
got back home and really dug in on the project. I have created the worse level of mess right now, it is beyond belief
just like in clean sweep, I have my piles, and I have actually sorted my piles by theme so that I can keep, and garage sale or donate. I have set up an organized area in the garage for the garage sale, and it will be a DOOZIE once I get everything down there. so far I have not effectively eliminated any furniture which is not accomplishing my goal. One hurdle at a time I guess. get everything at least in the right geographical location.
DE CLUTTER ING
'one nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day'
I had no idea which end of the elephant to start on, so I started on the tail, and the trunk, and the right front foot all at the same time, and kinda got lost. had to take a pause, talk to sverre who is by and large more of a difficult one than a helpful one. his solution is usually wait until it resolves it self, mine is gut and redo and repeat as needed.
so for the update/progress. of all the spaces to sacrifice, the garage/studio is the sacrificial lamb. sucks, but that is the way it is.
now I have packed up all my props and stacked them as compactly as possible and set aside the fall set for now in an easily accessible area. and swept and cleaned out the near wall to stack the shelves that currently reside in the hobbyroom/closet off the office and utilize them for the garage sale / craigs list / ebay stuff. that way, I get them down, and near the door for ultimate delivery are as close to it as possible, and thus less trips through the house. DOWNSIZE a bit at a time now will be less painful than all at once in the spring.
I gutted the master suite closet and vacuumed it out, took some pictures to put on the 'house for sale' site. and now I have no freaking idea what to store in there. ideally, nothing. but realistically something. which is a major part of my DELIMA, what stays and what goes. ultimately, at least 50% has to go, or we will never get all this into 1/2 the square footage that we have now. but if I keep using the current space for storage, I will never downsize effectively while it is practical, and when moving day comes, we will just throw it on the truck as we have for the past 22 years. so I am resolved. we must clean and close off the spaces until we no longer occupy 50% of the house. with ANYTHING including storage.
GOOD PLAN.. now for execution.
I have cleaned out 80% of the nursery in anticipation of removing my core office to that space and relinquishing this space to Krys/Jordan leaving the entertainment center here. that is painful! but I can still watch my shows on this computer via the network and the downstairs Beyond TV link.
so I have 2 rooms down, and 6 to go. this is gonna suck to high heaven!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Erik loves his legos, they are a constant fascination for him. what I love is that he can think out side of the box and create ships on his own that are pretty fantastic.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
it is a 10x25 so that should be large enough, just had a thought, it was supposed to be large enough to store the vw bug and her household stuff, but she said that they were going to tow the bug over and leave it at the parents house, wonder if they think they are going to squeeze dixie ('85 Silverado) into the storage. it will so totally not fit
oh good lord.
I have raised enough concerns that Sverre is seriously looking at finding a job in Madison Wisconsin instead of Bergen Norway, which I think would be a better choice financially. yes we still have $8000 in medical insurance expenses a year but we can ease into the 'real' house market, since the hHouston one is beyond unrealistic with $90K houses vs $200K McMansions anywhere else. (although I seriously do want to McMansion, but what is a girl to do? he thinks that he will go postal and have a fork sticking out of his managers throat if he has to stay here one more year.
we had a 'clearing of the air' and I expressed myself at the TOP OF MY LUNGS and with such violent undertones that gave him the heads up that he and I need to have a 'come to jesus' and we did.
we are considering all our options, including some serious ones in Madison, Wisconsin. which honestly I am exceedingly excited about but as with the previous issues, he was excited about san fransisco, and that didnt happen, he was excited about portland and that didnt happen, he was excited about boise, and that didnt happen, he was excited about missoula, and that didnt happen, he was excited about bergen and that is just not a good choice. we shall see.
I am now the official tiger den mother for my little cubbie. what in the world happened last night? the boys were so noisy, they had a cup of coffee in their hands, and a cookie on a napkin, I thought they asked if I wanted one, and I say, YES PLEASE.. what was I thinking of?
I was supposed to have Jordan from 8:00 am to 5:00 pm, his momma slept in and missed work. the boys have boy scouts tonight from 7:00 pm to 8:00 pm.
Monday, September 17, 2007
me? oh you have got to be kidding!
okay, Erik is a wolf cub scout and Magnus is a tiger cub scout and I am his den's (8 little guys) momma.
this ought to be really interesting.
Wanna buy some popcorn?
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Ten words women use...
2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5.) Loud Sigh: This is actual ly a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.
8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!
9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What'swrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.
10) Anyways: This means that anything you are talking about does not matter to her. Her story will quickly follow this statement.
Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Precisely On Target
I set my goal 15 months ago, and I have achieved it. I have maintained and followed the steps and adhered to the plan. I think that it was easier that I expected, harder than I imagined, tougher than most would have been able to endure and more rewarding than I thought possible.
My husband chides me frequently that I am not 'following' the plan religiously, he is worried that a 7 lb fluctuation is a return to the beginning. My family at this juncture and for quite some time do not want to talk about me anymore. My 15 seconds of fame is over and I am now not 'newsworthy'. 'Lets talk about something else' is the phrase when I point out my accomplishments. It is as if, "yes, we applauded you when you hit your goal. yes we applauded you went you bought your clothes, yes, it has been over a year and you are still the new you" now we want to talk about something else. ANYTHING else. iIt can still be about me. but SOMETHING else.
I can not say that I have a lot of motivation lately, I am definitely in the middle of a mood swing. could be hormonal, could be metabolic, could be nutritional, could be a bazillion things. I am not as good about my vitamins as I was in the beginning, I am getting a lot of food, and I guess I feel that should be enough. I take 2 vits nearly every day. I am really bad about the fluids. A couple of days ago, I noticed that I was getting in a 32 oz cup of coffee in the morning and that was it for the day, not a good choice. I went back to the tea, sucked down 64 oz and then was up all freaking night, whoa Nelly, with a 7 month old all day, that sleep deprivation was not pleasant. but I got through the day and ended up going to bed about 10 pm. now here it is 6:30 am and I have been up for over an hour. already had my two eggs, scrambled with cheese, salsa and sour cream. I am really pushing the envelop with them I can feel them overflowing into the esophagus which is not a good thing. so I still have about a 3 oz pouch because they were really only about 1/2 a cup in volume and so I didn't think that I would have a problem getting them down. As far as sleep, I am going to bed when I am tired, getting up when wake up naturally, some nights that is only about 6 - 7 hours others it is 8 or so.
I went to the school's boy scout night and it looks like the boys want to be involved. that is on top of chess club. we wanted to get them into swimming lessons, but for some reason, I am just totally not motivated to get them to the actual lessons, I am so bad. how can my kids be 6 and 8 and not able to swim? you would think with my HISTORY that I would be better about it. But then again, hell, they have a dad and he is not doing anything either.
I did go to the school's volunteer tea. each year I sucker myself back into getting involved. spreading myself too thin I am sure. Art Appreciation with Pamela Macpherson, Chess and Scouting with Jeannie Schmidt, Box tops and Scouting with Jenna Majka, Computer Club, Bicycle Safety, and Mother Reader with Maureen Menzer just for shits and giggles.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Hurricane Humberto makes landfall
Humberto strengthened to a hurricane overnight, just prior to making landfall around 2:00 am CDT east of High Island, Texas. Maximum winds, in a small area to the north and northeast of the center, were near 85 mph at the time of landfall.
Humberto is now inland near the Texas-Louisiana boarder, moving northeast, and will weaken through today.
we are still looking at tornadoes here, just a slim chance.on the other hand, I must be going through some serious hormones. Aunt flo left sunday and then returned and then left again this week. I am so upset about so many things that I should have control over, but do not. that I should be able to do something about, but feel that I am paralized and can not. I do not know if it is my diet, the weather, or the lunar cycle.
I am still bawling over the housing prospects in norway. I can not honestly see why. why I should be giving up what I have. what I have worked so hard to accomplish. why I should be walking away from everything. I do not see it. It makes me sick to think about it. all the houses that I thought were too freaking small but were compensated by the 'other aspects' are now not even possible. it would appear that we can barely afford even 1100 square feet of living space. now if I were not a stay at home mom, that would not be a big deal right? well crap. I am a stay at home mom, so that is a big deal. if I were taking my car with me and could run to town to kill the boredom, it would not be a big deal, oh but shit, I am not going to have a car. for those that think that public transportation is the bomb, bite me. I am not that way. my parents were not that way, their parents were not that way, my great grandfather had a mule and did not rely on public transportation, I am not one that has come from the type of people that rely on public transportation. our families have always had our own. horse/ buggy or truck or car but public transportation was not part of the equation.
my family may have spoiled me by always owning land and homes, large homes, and I truly feel that it is a step down to have less, irregardless of where I have it. hell, my grandmother hubbard got a used 4 bedroom house when she married in 1940 but she got a HOUSE.
Now I sit and I wonder, what defines me? My grandmother sent me a photograph of her daughter in law's fathers house. it was about what is in my neighborhood. she was totally impressed with that he was a pilot for a private jet company and could afford what amounted to about a $130K house in Georgia. What is my social status, what is my personal measure of success. do my family see me as a success or failure? Do my associates look at me, and see me or what I drive? do my customers respect me or what I do for a living? How important is it to me when my father seriously gets lost in my house trying to find the third bathroom. (Honestly, that was a poignant moment when he did.) I seriously felt today that if I were to live in one of those tiny apartments, even if it was in another country, that I honestly could not invite anyone over for the shame of it. to be back down the property latter from what I have now to what I would have to learn to live with is just so inconceivable that I was bawling for a full 1/2 hour. I seriously could bear living in a double wide trailer easier.
I considered pouting and still may. I considered just refusing to get on the plane, and I may still. I considered what it would take to keep making the payments on this house by myself, if I could handle roommates to make up the difference that I would have to in order to stay or if I should just give up the house completely, and move back to Montana. But I doubt that would be a solution. my income potential here is substantially higher and housing costs substantially lower.
What would I gain? and what would I lose? I seriously do not see the gain. in anyway, shape or form. there is absolutely nothing that holds my interest. Sverre suggested that I could go to England and Germany for the weekend, which brought a smile but now I think about it, hell, I could go to Washington DC, but I have never, in the 11 years that we have been rotting here, and could more easily afford it, we never do. We never do anything but my seeing Naomi, and him going home each year, the rest of the time, it is just living from day to day. never leaving the house and when that happens, the house becomes a seriously important part of your lifestyle.
but now that the tears have dried, I am resolved that all I can really do right now is worry about the next three weeks. so I will clean out the nursery, move my office / tv room in there and get this room ready for Krys/ Jordan and keep getting things put up on Craigslist to make enough room for everyone that needs to be here now.
Rethinking what would someone do to have the 'opportunity' to live a different life'. I wonder what that life would be. I could do it, but I do not know if I am brave enough. as quickly as I psyche myself into seeing the positive, it is gone, poof! and the reality sneaks back in. I am going to have to sell every single electric appliance that I have, not small list:
pancake griddle, wheat grinder, bread machine, toaster, waffle iron, coffee bean grinder, coffee maker, tea maker, can opener, microwave, food processor, air popcorn popper, blender, cake mixer, rice steamer, electric blanket, curling iron, blow dryer, hot rollers, radio, cd player, dvd player, replay tv recorder, ipaq music center, vcr, sewing machine, scanners, vacuum cleaner, roomba, printers, paper shredders, cordless phones, tv receivers, tv's, computer ups's, lamps, alarm clocks. it is just overwhelming how many things will be sold for 1/2 the value, and then replaced at 4 time the cost there.