Wednesday, October 17, 2007

feel overwhelmed

how are things going, I am starting to and not necessarily in a good way.

Krys has always dominated a lot of my time, Grandbaby Jordan has encroached significantly. I watch him about 40 hours a week. I am the cub scout den leader for Magnus group and between him and Erik, it is much more than just a couple of hours a week. I just finished sewing on the boys's patches for their uniforms, that was a chore. I have been doing a little tutoring of the boys in their homework that doesnt always make sense to them. naturally there is the various thankless jobs around the house like completely striping out the refrigerator and washing it down, completely packing up krys's house and moving it to storage, and making beds, loading and unloading the dishwasher, photographing friends and family. OH somehow I got volunteered to take the PACK 1550 Cub Scout Photo. 97 boys, and they wiggle a lot. we had a field trip on monday, and we are going camping in two weeks.
my photography business is coasting and that is not a good thing financially but fantastic considering how much time everyone else in my life DEMANDS.
last night I had a long drawn out conversation with my husband about the choices that I am making, he feels that I am not contributing enough around the house. that I do not help out with putting the boys to bed or get them up for school or whatever. yesterday he was in such a bad mood that he kicked my chair while I was talking to a client and essentially said that I didnt get the taco shells when I was out shopping as if I was an incompetent idiot. I was not at the 'proper' store for those items and I know that I if I fail to get the EXACT item that he DEMANDS, then I might as well not have done it at all. it is exhausting living up to his expectations. the current hissy fit is that krys lives with us now that jason has joined the military and that all her stuff SMELLS like mold. and that her dogs that he was adamantly against staying with us are still here because the person that we made arrangements with turned out to be a full fledged FLAKE! so we had to rescue them in the middle of the night so to speak. HE thinks that I am not working enough on my photography business and yet I am wasting the planets resources to drive 75 miles to the jobs that I am able to secure. I swear! but I am starting to rant.