Saturday, September 30, 2006


You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny.
Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it.
And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Hey that is me

1. Imagine you're single and have signed up for a new dating / networking site. How do you describe yourself?

2. If someone were to call you a contradiction, it's probably because you're:

3. Your last relationship ended because:

4. Finally, what trait do you find most attractive in a lover?

You Should Be A Sagittarius

What's good about you: bold and adventure loving, life is one big party for you

What's bad about you: you don't think before speaking - and you often regret it!

In love: you're flirtatiously playful, but you never play games

In friendship, you're: the one who keeps everyone laughing

Your ideal job: fortune teller, philosopher, or athlete

Your sense of fashion: your own mix of vintage and new pieces

You like to pig out on: anything you haven't tried before

Thursday, September 28, 2006


Every action you take today will either move you closer to your chosen goal or farther away from it. There's something you intend to achieve, and the way to achieve it is through action.

There is a very real connection between the things you do and the outcomes you experience. Keep that in mind as you go through the day.

Keep that in mind as you decide how to spend your time. Keep that in mind as you control you own thoughts and actions.

Connect your goals to your actions and you will reach those goals.

Focus on the outcome of what you're doing, moment by moment. You can choose to just get through the day, or you can decide to make it count and to move yourself forward.

There is a road that runs from where you are right now to the fulfillment of the goals you have chosen. As you go through this day, stay on that road. Keep the connection strong. Take the actions that will move you ahead.

So today I set some goals and a plan of action to meet those goals. starting the entire process with prayer, since I can not do it alone.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006


okay, now I have to deal with as the body shrinks, the confidence is swelling. Ihave been a professional photographer since 2002. but today I finally made a decision to do a BIG PUBLIC EVENT. I am pulling out all the stops, and just going to go for the GOLD. renting a building, advertising, publicity. a community event benefiting my favorite charity. I did it and I am hyperventilating. I am so totally hyperventilating.

and then I sit back and say "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit" I know that this really builds a customer base, I will have displays of my target audience. a Toddler table and a Family table and a Senior table with 'brochures'

I will need to have another nother table for processing orders

and a truck to collect the donations. I am going to treat it like a 'trade show' with my information.

so far I have one daycare that is volunteering to send home flyers in the kids napsacks, I need to print posters to put in local businesses and get it in the subdivision newsletters.

oh nuts, here I go again, hyperventilating!

I just rented a building for the day, it has parking and a fireplace and plenty of room and I am going to do a charity fundraiser for my favorite charity, for the session fee part, and sell portraits for christmas including christmas cards and promoting my business but I swear, my heart is in my throat and I would like to crawl back under a rock!

I already have three people that are excited and want to come as customers, help out by promoting the event, I am going to need some help, but mostly,

"oh shit, oh shit, oh shit"

my heart is going to explode in my chest. here is my start of my advertising campaign

(breath, I just have to breath!)

I did think about the local papers and the newletters for each of the local subdivisions.

renting the Municipal Utilities District building which is very centrally located to everyone in our neighborhoods.

it has a huge room (18'x30') with a fireplace, (8) 5ft tables and 38 chairs if I wanted to have a baby shower / bridal shower ;-) for a community event it is free, but for a business event it is $50 for the day, and with parking alone, it is SO WORTH THAT. I would assume that there are community rooms in each town that can be rented for the day. she said that she has pampered chef parties and creative memories that rent it as well to sell stuff. everyone takes turns.

I have talked to another 'nother mom and she wants to distribute flyers for the private school that her kids attend that is going to just rock my world! what if I become so busy from this that I just loose my mind? it is earie to think that I have been coasting under the radar for so long and now I feel like I am taking the plunge.

I DO NOT DO BUNGE JUMPING for this very reason

I would never have done anything like this 90 lbs ago. I was the type that would have small house parties and be sad that only 1 family would show up. now I am planning on inviting 30 families for the day.

part of my fears is that if I make a mistake, then I will completely ruin my credibility and since I am already 'faking it' as it is, hehehe I worry, a lot.

everything up until now has been a learning experience.

the big day is November 4. I am barely sleeping now that I have made the decision, I think that I am in way over my head. I didnt get to sleep until 1 am and here it is 7 am and I am back up!

I think I have to do something all or nothing, because if I do small steps, I never follow through. if I go emersion in a baptism by fire, I either sink or swim, must be a personality trait. ;)

in the past 15 years, as my pounds went up, my social skills went down.

this event is a photography event where the session fees will be a donation to my favorite local charity.

while my personality is changing, and I am more 'public' I am still horrible about nitpicking something like this. I edited this layout about 800 times and I am still to totally convinced that it is 'ready' to be printed. hehehe

today I fussed over the promotional pieces. I think I finally am 'content with the layout' have sent off a TEST print (100 post cards) to see if I like them, just do not know if I can wait until they come back to take the plunge. may need to speed up my terjectory (sp?)

but I told my husband, I have been piddling around for three years, I really need to DIVE IN, and he said I dont see why the hell not, you have already spent the money on the equipment, you have nothing to lose.

it was a profound statement. I already made the financial investment, but I have not 'put myself out there' and risked anything EMOTIONALLY. I must be the only recovering fat person that has felt like this. 6 months ago I discovered that I am an emotional eater. today I discovered that I am (can not even think of the word for timid/shy/nervous person)......

My entire life, my whole existance I have hidden behind an extroverted personality and sunny smile. no one knew that inside my stomache was like a blender with a live gold fish in it. ;) just anxiously waiting for someone to flip the switch and have gold fish smoothie.

even now, I am hourly hyperventilating about doing such a public project. talk about falling on my face. it could be such a fiasco. or it could be such a FLOP. that would be just as bad. sitting there with NO ONE SHOWING UP. gawd the stress, the pressure, the humiliation. I do not know which is worse, demonstrating that I am unqualified or demonstrating that I have no friends/clients to show up. hehehe (<- very nervious giggle) but see. that is WHY I AM HERE. WHY I was OB. I just do not have a chocolate chip cookie to get me through this anymore! and really I am tired. I was having a hard day today. so frustrated with this process. The part that is hard, is that I am getting TIRED. you know, when you run and run and run and run, after awhile, you just get tired. I am tired of the 'work' and I am tired of the stress, and I am just tired. I do not want to 'worry' about what I eat, I just want to eat what sounds good. Yesterday I had a salad for lunch, and a salad for dinner. Because it sounded good. I did not get in all that protein, and all the other stuff. It is just so exhausting to 'work' on eating for so long. I do not care if I loose another pound, I just want to take a break. back to thinking about my project, here is what I did first. secured the location. (check) talk to some 'reps', people that know me and felt out the 'reaction' to my packages, my prices, my charity speel, and then they inturn want,,, WANT to promote it at thier respective schools (1 private school, 2 daycares) then I spent last night designing the 5x7 flyer that will go home with the kids and the 11x14 poster that will be up in local businesses. I estimate that I will have 30 slots for portraits, if I have less call, great - if I have more, I am going to be going freaking nuts! ;-) but I am already thinking that I will just have to open up another day if that happens. maybe do friday and sunday. as for logistics, how can I DO this. I have 2 -2 gig cards, so I could have a computer and download and have someone proof and sell. and just swap out cards because it has been my experience that these things are more productive with immediate results. maybe I need to just switch to JPG Fine for this type of event, I do not know... just so many 'variables'. keep the quality up, keep the speed up, keep the distractions down. however, if I do not try, I will never learn.

here is my email flyer:

and the postcard that is going to the printers is done.>

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

If I Were a Butterfly

If I were a butterfly, I'd thank the Lord for giving me wings.

If I were a robin in a tree, I'd thank the Lord that I could sing.

And if I were a fuzzy-wuzzy bear, I'd thank the Lord for my fuzzy-wuzzy hair.

But I'm just thanking you, God, for making me me!

Oh, the Lord is good to me, and so I thank the Lord, For giving me

the things I need, the sun and the rain and the appleseed.

The Lord is good to me.

Monday, September 25, 2006

shrinking booty and shrinking boobies

I have been slowly adding new stuff into my closet, I know that it is useless to get too much since I change sizes every month.

today I finally said HEY time to measure for the big investment. the bra. (sorry guys) GOODNESS GRACIOUS.


and did I mention GOODNESS gracious?

I went from a 42 down to a 35 band size... from a DDD down to a C.

I was only going to get two new ones for now. but I am just flabbergasted.

this is on top of the panties going from a size 8 to a size 5. it is wow moments that is for sure, and my family are now going, are you done yet? isnt a 5 tiny enough? do you really need to go down anymore?

I can not help it, my body is doing what it is doing. so what if I go down to a 32C and a size 4? it is not like it is a bad thing, they really were so used to a fluffy 'MOM' they just can not envision a skinny minnie. I know they 'support' me, want the best for me. but I can see that the closer I get to my mom and grandma's size, the less my fluffy (185 lb and 199 lb) girls are comfortable with my body changing. I think that they look at it as , well, now there is no one that they can 'identify' with as a biological excuse for being fluffy.

so my wow moments are recieving mixed reviews. all my 'friends' are just estatic at my progress. but then most of them are reed thin. ;)

as for my dailies:
AM vitamins: In
meds: In
breakfast: cottage cheese & blueberries: In
Fluids: 17 oz coffee, going down
lunch: beef & broccoli
Fluids: 17 oz tea
PM vitamins:
dinner: cod & romaine salad
Fluids: 17 oz tea

exersize- 2 miles on my bike & a chocolate chip cookie

Monday goals for the week:

1. create 5x7 flip books for my preschool kids for proof sessions
2. FINISH 8.5x11 preschool brochure
3. 6 (5x6) collage cards - 1 layout for each of my 6 limited edition sets
4. design 8.5x5.5 of daycare deluxe holiday session booklet
5. create a 'trade show' booth with new table and columns
6. print 16x20 sample of family dressed in denim
7. referal card insert to printers
8. Picture Day poster for October Rodeo Day and November Santa Day
9. book MUD building for first saturday in October, November, December.(Partially DONE)
10. edit website (Partially DONE)

Ahead this week on the schedule:

* Sun: 'nothing'
* Mon: 'nothing'
* Tues: 'meet with huntsville parent rep
* Wed: 'Pick up Krys from airport
* Thurs: 'nothing'
* Fri: meet with vocalist for wedding
* Sat: 'nothing'

we have a double car garage, but I stopped parking it it about 6 months ago. hehehe it is full of garage sale stuff right now, but I plan to EMPTY it and put all my studio stuff in there. I was going to do that FIRST, but sverre insisted on putting it in krys room, then he took over that room, so now I am back to the garage. I wish he would make up my mind!

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Krystal is going to have a .....

the baby's name is going to be Jordan Jason Miles. (Jordan was the name for Krystal if she was a boy) and Jason is the father's name (tradition, use the father's first name as the babies middle name)

Erik and Magnus are not excited. they just do not get excited. they are guys, NID, not into details. ;)

here is what Erik said after dinner tonight,
(it was a GEORGEOUS DAY today and we went bike riding before he could get on the computer, dad's orders)
after that, he was on the computer for about 1 hour, and then his friend from down the street called and invited him and his brother over to go bike riding, so they did, then Erik came back home and played soccer with the little boy across the street for 1 hour, and then Erik played football with the brothers two doors down for an hour.)

ANYWAYS erik says, "wow mom, I was outside so much today, I was hardly on my computer at all. I am trying to break my computer habit."

I swear if I had been drinking something it would have spewed across the dining room!

(BTW there are about 22 houses on our street and 3 girls and 18 boys on the street that are all between 1 and 10 years old. how freaky is that?)

Saturday, September 23, 2006

quiet saturday morning

kids are settled in school, they are puttering on the computers today.

I had a photography class yesterday, that totally rocked, but driving 175 miles wore me out. I am exhausted.

even so, I woke up extremely early, and now am ready for a nap! I have a headache that has been lurking for two days now. probably dehydration.

gracious, this is so boring, I am putting myself to sleep.

fiddled around with myspace today. hopefully krys will take it over and putter with it. would like more senior portrait customers.

diet is puttering along, no weight loss, no weight gain, just holding steady. Aunt Flo is here, so totally expected. yesterday was okay, tore up my pouch with celery, but still need more leafy greens today.

:-) the seminar was a 'challenge' for me. first time out 'eating' with peoples, trying to concentrate on 'eat what is right' eat the right amount. eat slowly, I was pretty proud of myself that I was able to control the 'emotional eating'.

I usually get so stressed in those situations, but I held it together, and was successful all day long. whoo hoo!

one of my regrets is not stopping to take care of ME sooner. I keep coming back to the 'airplane' message of put your own oxygen masks on first before trying to help others. it is so true. you can not be a good mother, you can not be a good business person, you can not be good at anything if you do not slow down and take care of your own health first.

today I am finding that I am inspired and drawn back into 'putting the cart before the horse, and I have to stop, and breathe. this month I need to focus on tots. get my marketing printouts for tots. in january, I need to start marketing to the Seniors. one project at a time.

just like my diet. get your protein in first, then your veggies. take care of the vitamins and get the fluids down. the rest takes care of itself!

Even though I have not 'lost anything" in 10 days, I know that I am not 'done', it is hard to not get worried, 200-300 calories a day, you would think after 10 days something would happen, but it just takes TIME and PATIENCE.

I am just grateful that I am not alone.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Reasonable Expectations

well, now I can wear the pants in the family!!


I went to a resale shop down the street and got 2 pair of 34's for myself, and had krys with me, while she is totally supportive, it was pretty funny, she called me the 'B' word that I could get into a tiny pair of 34's heehee she is painstakingly trying to maintain her weight through this pregnancy. she was 35 lbs overweight when she got pg, and has not gained any so far (19 weeks along) so I can totally see her point. the baby is healthy and she is eating her WIC foods. ;-) and while there is no way that she can 'help' but gain from here on out, she has done well so far.

my tummy is really having fits this month. I am going in to the doctor today, I think I have a yeast infection in my belly button, and I threw up so bad last night, that it scared me. sverre made me some chamomile tea that helped settle things down. I am sure that I am just going through another 'adjustment' and thing will settle down, but I am going in today anyways just to be safe. (stinky belly buttons are not a good thing) ;-)

BTW, MR. MAGNUS had a thermal nuclear meltdown today, he had on shorts, walked outside and decided that it was too cold and wanted pants, he dad said not enough time to change, his brother erik knocked him down, and he started to cry, the bus got here and he completely lost it, he didnt want to go to school, after 5 minutes, his dad brought him inside, he was hysterical, his dad was cussing up a stream in norwegian the likes that I am sure would make a norwegian mechanic blush, gave him 3 swats, sverre said I would have to drive him to school (DUH!) and I said just go to work, I would handle it. I knew from the moment of the pants that it was going to escalate. once sverre left, magnus told me his troubles. we changed his whole outfit to reboot his day, drove him to school, and he was fine. although now he thinks that he should be a car rider instead of a busser, like that is going to happen! NOT! *sigh* today I am calm and can handle it, but yesterday Erik was in trouble AGAIN. I swear he has been in trouble 4 out of 5 days for the last 5 weeks. he gets in trouble for WIGGLING. he gets in trouble for TALKING he gets in trouble for BREATHING. I have a meeting with the teacher at 1:30 today to see if we can come up with some REASONABLE EXPECTATIONS.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

good days... bad days... (today: BAD day)

;-) remember me saying ... good days... bad days....

last night and today are very very bad days.

it is sort of a chain reaction, aunt flo arrived, I ate 1/2 a cliff bar, I drank a bunch of water, my gut feels like it was kicked by a clydsedale!

On sunday I tried on a pair of Sverre jeans (36"'s right?). they fit right?

this morning, I grabbed another pair of sverre's shorts, I thought that sverre' wore 36's, they are not, they are 34's. I am wearing his 34's today, again...

Oh CRAP!!!


this is so kewl!!!! went to the resale shop, and bought two pair of my own.

B: cottage cheese
L:chicken enchilada, chile releno, sopapilla (all very bad choices)

today is 'dd#2' u/s, boy or girl? boy or girl?

the U/S was inconclusive.

she looked for 40 minutes, the umbiblicord was RIGHT THERE

there was possibly a little tiny bump that could possibly be a small stem, but it was just too little to tell.

the heart is perfect. there was no cleft palate, there was three cords so no down syndrome, it really looked healthy, but a tiny bit small, they moved the due date to February 15th (was February 11) so still all right in range of our calculations (I estimated feb 14)

'he' appears to be a serious thumb sucker and a south paw. (just like 'his' dad)

so 'for now' we are nick naming 'him' 'jordan'

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Sverre's Jeans

OM freaking G!! I tried on a pair of 38" jeans that I got in August, just 6 weeks ago, they are TOO big. so I thought, Sverre wears a 36" let's just see.


how freaking cool is that? I am so totally dancing the happy dance now!!!

my tummy was really feeling the strain of an off week. Tuesday was too much food, Wednesday was too much cappichino, Thursday was spent in the restroom regretting too much cappichino's, friday was a confusing day of not being able to eat 1/3 of my normal foods. so Saturday I just threw the rulebook out the window and had 1.5 eggo waffles for breakfast, .5 eggo waffles for lunch, 1 blueberry crepe for dinner, and 2 petite croissants for snack. and 46 oz of crystal light to flush the system. today I feel much better. I have had 3 oz of cottage cheese and 1 oz of blueberries and my vitamins and I feel normal.

scale still at 185. life is good.

Saturday, September 16, 2006


A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.

After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar -- a saltshaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice. The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.

"First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice." So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.

He puts the salt on his tongue -- salty but OK. He drinks the shot of Baileys - smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks - this is OK. Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it ....

In one second the sharp lime taste hits .....
At two seconds the Baileys curdles ...
At three seconds the salty curdled bitter taste hits.
This triggers his gag reflex but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now nasty drink.

When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says, "Jesus, what do you call that drink?"

She smiles wickedly at him and says, "It's called the Blow Job Revenge".

Friday, September 15, 2006

one more week down, just the rest of my life to go.

the reason there are so many diets out there, is that no two people's bodies hold on to fat the same way.
I can tell you that no two bodies are the same. some people gain from carbs, some gain from fats, some gain from whatever else there is.

for me, I thought it was so hard. my husband went vegetarian, and he lost 55 lbs eating as much as he wanted. riding his bike like some lance armstrong. I did what he did and GAINED. after 4 years, it was insane. he has a grain based diet and it was killing me.

before that I thought that Susan Powter (sp??) had the answer with Fat Free, I gained more than I lost. between in there was the Sugar Busters. I just want to cry. the more I tried, the worse I felt.

with the newest doctor he made it so easy. LEAN MEATS AND LEAFY GREEN VEGETABLES. as much as I wanted, three meals a day. and I averaged 10 lbs loss each month. I could have continued on that probably done okay for a while if I were a 'normal' human. ;-) and for those people that only have a decade or so of fluff build up, it does help.

you do have to move to lose, which is what had me going crazy for so long, I have always been moving, walking about 5 miles a day throughout the day (my husband didnt believe me, until I got a pedometer strapped to my ankle, now he thinks that it is inaccurate, he is such a twirp!) but I do not advocate curves or any other 'fitness center' I have wasted so much money at those places, I invested the money in my own home gym, and it is really working well.

I set aside a bedroom, got a stationary bike, a weight set, a weight bench, a small trampoline, an exersize ball, elastic bands, and a home theater. now I can work out and watch a great movie.

sorry, this has turned into a novel! ;-)
I am so jazzed, I had to tell someone!!!!

I went online and checked my local chamber of commerce, went to the ribbon cutting ceremony for a new local daycares, with business cards in hand. they already had a photographer, but it was a splendid idea, I need to check out more chamber of commerce daycare activities

I had scheduled a 'daycare' in Huntsville. 1 hour drive each way. but I was 'desparate'

so I booked them with NO NOTICE in May and got their prints back to them in time for mothers day. I did the VICTORIAN props. my prices were reported by several to be reasonable. my images were always liked.

so I went back this week. did another session with a BRIDGE set for summer. and someone left that daycare and went to a different one over the summer, and I was 'recommended' and she booked for October. (I just squeezed her in - LOL). we are doing the RODEO set.

I got a list of local daycares for this town, the director of the current daycare, X'd out several daycares that would not be good candidates for my 'style' or that were just too poor. now she realizes that she has just given me good leads on other places, she books her next session in March, 5 days before the 'first of the month' payday rolls around, when everyone gets the check for the month... SMART THINKING. I am thinking the 'BEACH' set

I drove over to one, ice cold dead call, they were getting portraits done by 'the other guys' on monday, thank you, bye.

the director of THIS daycare recommended that I contact another daycare, of which the a mom went to work for and took two of her's with. so COLD CALL, I drove over today and say, hey, well they had a 'company' coming in BUT.. I smiled and nodded and said, well, that is okay, mine are not the 'standard issue' boring, but a little different and special, just take a look at my (splendid ACI Expressions "5x7" portfolio) and she did. I had a sample prepay sheet from the current week project with my 6 package prices. she booked me for first week in november. we are going to do SANTS CHRISTMAS pictures and sell CARDS.

now I am flying so very high. literally GIDDY. and then low and behold I get a call out of the BLUE from a mom that has an 11 year old PAGEANT entrant that needs HEAD SHOTS like NOW. I can 'squeaze her in' (LOL) at 4 pm. at first she just wants 1 8x10, so I say fine, normally my minimum is $125, however, I know that you are 'stressing' and need just one and right now, so sitting fee +$35/8x10, I can set you up. she calls back, no, she needs lots of 8x10's, she will get the minimum package and see me tomorrow.

OMG.... this never happens to me, NEVER. now I promise myself that I will contact at least 2 new daycares a day until I am at my goal. (4 day cares a month) for the next 12 months.

Thursday, September 14, 2006


My goal is 100 lbs, which I have 'technically done, since my historical high was 285 in 2001, and I have finally hit 185, that is a total loss of net 100 pounds. not discounting that I went from 285 to 242 and then back to 275 in 4.5 years. hell, technically, I have lost 143 lbs since then. what a horrendous struggle!!! I feel like I have been on a roller coaster from 6flags. up, down, up, down, round and round.

Monday, September 11, 2006

I just want to shout from the roof top

I just want to dance nakid in the street. I broke 190 and I can not sit still any longer. 15 weeks post op and I can not believe that I am here today. I can not believe that I survived. that I lived and that I am going to do more than just exist from now on. -3.93 lbs per week average (.07 lbs less than doctor demanded). the stalls are just that, stalls, they do not predict the overall outcome. I rode my bike with my family for 5 miles yesterday and while I was huffing and puffing, I was able to do it in 40 minutes. my 6 year old is so patient with me, he can go faster, my husband has to ride 30 miles before I start to take the 'fire' out of him so that he can 'stand' how slow I go (10.8 miles per hour highest speed) but they are patient with me and keep me company.


(I discovered that I can not digest cauliflower) and I knew I could not digest processed meats, and now I know postop that I can not digest cottage cheese.

secondly, start your exersize program now. it sets a base line, you will drop below that after surgery, but then pick back up and eventually superceed that base line.

I could walk 10 miles before surgery, now I can walk 8 miles, eventually I will be back to 10 and then to 20 miles a day (did it when I was much younger)

I could pedal my bike 15 miles a day before, 8 miles now, will be back to 15 and eventually to 30 miles a day (also much younger milestone)

humor for the day
A little boy blows up his balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something. The boy continues. "Johnny!" mom screams. "Knock it off. You're going to break something." He stops and eventually mom leaves for a short trip to the store.

Johnny starts up with the balloon again. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet.

Mom comes in and while putting away the groceries gets the urge. A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes. When she's finished she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing. Diarrhea everywhere! She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.

When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and diarrhea is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc. "Doctor! Doctor! Are you alright?" she asks.

He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever seen a fart!"

Sunday, September 10, 2006

eat to live, live to eat

B: Liver
S: Propel + Calcium
L: Flour tortillas (sopapillas) (bad choice)
S: hot tea with honey (sore throat)
D: Halibut

PB: 20 oz coffee with milk and splenda
B: 4 shrimp with tartar sauce
S: nuts, ate nuts until I couldnt eat anymore nuts, cashews, pistachios, macadamien, brazil and pine nuts
S: 4 oz cottage cheese 1 oz pineapple
L: 1/2 crepe with blueberries
S:10 oz peppermint tea
D:4 oz cottage cheese 1 oz blueberries
S: 20 oz water

B: 16 oz propel
S: 1 oz ribeye steak
L: Halibut salad
S: 20 oz coffee with milk and splenda
D: taco salad

today: rode bike 5 miles
today: drank 40 oz
today: ate 100% lean meats and leafy greens
tonight: watched one movie

Saturday, September 09, 2006

I love the new me!

I am quite possibly the most closet vain person there is. no one knows, but I look every time I walk past. mirrors, windows, any reflection, I look.

strange that I got this way considering how much I look.

I would have agree with friends that see me now, I think I look fantastic. however, you know, just as soon as you say or do something, SOMEONE has to go pee on your parade. this morning we were talking about my chart and my loss so far. my husband pinched my fluffy batwings and said, "yeah, well you still have a ways to go, this is all fat."

he is such a wonderful supportive dunz. I think I shall get him a drink, and take a sip and spit it back in the glass. ;)

in my 6 months journey, I will tell you that this is what I learned.

I am an emotional eater. I would have never believed it, but discovered it is true
I am a woofer, I devour stuff, I do not take time to enjoy, I just inhale and run like hell, who would have thunk
I am a carbaholic, yep, that I was pretty sure of, but now I know
I could have died, but I didnt. I had a good surgeon that knew what he was doing and I followed the rules, walk right away, sip sip sip, and here I am doing exceptionally textbook perfectly well
I could not have done it on my own, I would have given up and given in ages ago, I know this, I accept this, it is fact.
the surgery not only gives me negative feedback when I make bad choices, but positive feedback when I stick to the plan. 3.5 lbs a week is phenomenal progress. no one will cheer for you like your body when you are following the PLAN. it will run like a well oiled machine and you will know it.
at points post op
you will: have head hunger
you will: get mad
you will: get so sick of food, you will swear never to eat again
you will get hungry again, and you will eat.
you will: get bored with what you are eating
you will: crave other things besides sweet foods or salty foods or whatever
you will buy a buttload of something only to find 72 hours later you can stand the smell, taste or consistency of it.
you will: get frustrated as hell that you can not just order a 1oz portion at a resturant.
you will: be standing in the meat counter and wonder why they sell such a freaking large 6 oz steak that will take you a week to eat!
you will: go through your closet in disgust that you have not even taken the tags off something and it is already impossibly too large for you to wear
you will go somewhere and find that your clothes are falling off and you JUST BOUGHT THEM a month ago.
you will get more personal questions than a popparazzi would ask about stuff that is really no ones business
you will get more advice than you or anyone else would ever want, need or desire
you will have second thoughts and change your mind hourly the closer to sergery you get
I swear to you, this is the best most life enhanceing process that you will ever embark on and you are going to love the new you!

Friday, September 08, 2006

Sverre Stealing the Guittard Chocolate Chips

sverre does this so often, the kids never get a chocolate chip cookie.

I believe that under Texas' Domestic Act, Section 56 (2)(e) states that "Any spouse who willingly and unnecessarily, deprives their SO of any edible product that has been purchased for said SO, regardless of who purchased said edible product is guilty of spousal deprivation and is subject to corporal punishment by said SO in whichever manner s/he is able to inflict said punishment. Said punishment may include one (1) of the following: smacking up the side of the head, sucker punch to the stomach, or a kick in the buttocks."

Section 56 (2)(f) states that, "Any spouse who is found guilty of spousal deprivation under section 56(2)(e) more than three (3) times, may be further punished by any or all of the following: Sleeping on couch, sleeping in the doghouse, sleeping at their parents, refusal to engage in sexual relations up to but not more than one (1) week, refusal to speak to spouse for up to but not more than three (3) days, and/or refusal to relay phone messages for up to but not more than one (1) week."

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Conclusion of Serious Cussing

99% done.

it started out as a weekend project on wednesday of last week, just remove and replace a tub and the linoleum on the floor. now it is day 8 and I am so tired. I did drink 24 oz of fluid yesterday, I wanted to drink more (supposed to have 82 oz), but who had the freaking time?

I got the wallpaper removed and the tub in friday, sheetrock on saturday, and mud on sunday, the tissue paper glued down and primed monday the paint (three colors) in tuesday, yesterday:

I did get the linoleum cut / glued in the bathroom/ the new toilet installed, the new door hung, new trim (including mitering the corners in. spackled around the door where the paint pulled away with the old door. (plumbers on friday didnt run a utility knife down the side before RIPPING the old frame / trim off..... boneheads) and the glaze painted over the sponge paint and all the baseboards and 1/4 rounds nailed in place. painted the cabinet

now I just have to get the baseboards and door painted, and then the hall painted. and a little patchwork on the popcorn on the ceiling. and paint the balusters. oh and get a new water supply line for the toilet, since this one is 3 inches too short!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006


went to the PCP today, she was freaking grinning her head off. she has not seen me in 6 months, so the transformation has been phenomenal. while it is her job to weigh me, and she immediatly noticed 85 lb drop, what she really noticed was the change in my labs. my triglycerides are way down, my cholesterol is dropping, my protiens are significantly up, and overall I am in the healthiest shape that she has seen me since she started treating me 5 years ago. she was nice and said I looked much younger. but she was quick to reassure me that regardless of this, that, and the other, my body is well nurished and exceptionally healthy.

I am exceptionally healthy. period.

WoW moment yesterday.

I walked in to Tacohell where my daughter is working, and she didnt recognize me for 3 seconds. she started to give me a 'normal' customer greeting, it was to die for.

then her manager came out and was blown away that I was so much smaller, and then HER supervisor came out 'innocently' to do 'something' at the counter, and HE was blown away.

so they didnt ask me what my scale said, they didnt ask me what my tape measure said, they just saw that I was smaller and that was all that mattered.

made me think.

the only one obsessing over the number on the dial is


as long as I look like I have had a bath recently, used some breath mints, they smiled.

as for the DAMN bathroom, pulled the toilet out, and pulled up the carpet last night and found tons of mold. bleached the dickens out of it and went to sleep, this morning it looks better, sealed it with Kilz, and will finish today. got the popcorn done, painted, the living room drapes washed, dried and rehung, the drop clothes down, the book cases wiped down, the dining room and kitchen floors cleaned, now just about down to the wire.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

I feel good!

who has time to eat? I sure don't!


today I ventured off on a totally different course, asparagus for breakfast, romaine salad with pine nuts for lunch, spaghetti for dinner, bread pudding for desert.

overall: aparagus, gave me gas; romaine salad was da bomb, spaghetti, wretched wretched, never again, still gurgling up, bread pudding, I limited myself to two tablespoons, which was not 'good' but it is so 'good' I fail with self control.

the scale is moving, again. whoo hoo. 10 days no movement, 196, and then boom, 192.5, whee hee. dancing. "I feel good' dana nana nuh!(James Brown)


Friday, September 01, 2006

Serious Cussing!

today I had a 'day', not a fantastic day, but not a horrible day. it has been so long since I have had time to really focus on what I need to do, feels like everything is crisis mode. swollow protein here, suck down protein there, haul ass to this project, or that one.











right now I have the weekend to completely remodel my bathroom. as in new tub, new toilet, new floor, new sheetrock, new texture on walls, new door frame, new door, new door facing, new light switches, new ceiling I started this morning, tomorrow is day two, I have no idea how they do a WHOLE house in 4 days, course it would be easier without the little people brigade. I have my two (5 and 6) and my girlfriend dropped off her two (1 and 4) for the 4 day weekend so I have lots of HELPERS. they are great, not wretched at all, just keeps me focused on seriously working during nap hours. ;)

I am horribly dehydrated, I really do not have time or patience for hydrating, I swear, it is SUCH A PITA. that is a serious backside to this, getting all the fluids in each day. it is a day consuming process!

Drink: 10 oz green tea
Breakfast: 1 oz steak
Drink: 10 oz IsoPure Blue Raspberry
Lunch: 1 oz chicken
Drink 5 oz water
Dinner: 1 oz salmon