Saturday, September 09, 2006

I love the new me!

I am quite possibly the most closet vain person there is. no one knows, but I look every time I walk past. mirrors, windows, any reflection, I look.

strange that I got this way considering how much I look.

I would have agree with friends that see me now, I think I look fantastic. however, you know, just as soon as you say or do something, SOMEONE has to go pee on your parade. this morning we were talking about my chart and my loss so far. my husband pinched my fluffy batwings and said, "yeah, well you still have a ways to go, this is all fat."

he is such a wonderful supportive dunz. I think I shall get him a drink, and take a sip and spit it back in the glass. ;)

in my 6 months journey, I will tell you that this is what I learned.

I am an emotional eater. I would have never believed it, but discovered it is true
I am a woofer, I devour stuff, I do not take time to enjoy, I just inhale and run like hell, who would have thunk
I am a carbaholic, yep, that I was pretty sure of, but now I know
I could have died, but I didnt. I had a good surgeon that knew what he was doing and I followed the rules, walk right away, sip sip sip, and here I am doing exceptionally textbook perfectly well
I could not have done it on my own, I would have given up and given in ages ago, I know this, I accept this, it is fact.
the surgery not only gives me negative feedback when I make bad choices, but positive feedback when I stick to the plan. 3.5 lbs a week is phenomenal progress. no one will cheer for you like your body when you are following the PLAN. it will run like a well oiled machine and you will know it.
at points post op
you will: have head hunger
you will: get mad
you will: get so sick of food, you will swear never to eat again
you will get hungry again, and you will eat.
you will: get bored with what you are eating
you will: crave other things besides sweet foods or salty foods or whatever
you will buy a buttload of something only to find 72 hours later you can stand the smell, taste or consistency of it.
you will: get frustrated as hell that you can not just order a 1oz portion at a resturant.
you will: be standing in the meat counter and wonder why they sell such a freaking large 6 oz steak that will take you a week to eat!
you will: go through your closet in disgust that you have not even taken the tags off something and it is already impossibly too large for you to wear
you will go somewhere and find that your clothes are falling off and you JUST BOUGHT THEM a month ago.
you will get more personal questions than a popparazzi would ask about stuff that is really no ones business
you will get more advice than you or anyone else would ever want, need or desire
you will have second thoughts and change your mind hourly the closer to sergery you get
but
but
but
I swear to you, this is the best most life enhanceing process that you will ever embark on and you are going to love the new you!