Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Happy Birthday Magnus

Magnus started the day by having a sleep-over at his Big Sister's house. Krys made him French Toast for breakfast, and he had 4 slices. this was his very first sleep over all by himself and he was really brave, course, he had Erik to keep him company, so it was not much different than being at home.

THEN, Magnus went to AMC 24 movie theater and watched HAPPY FEET. It was pretty long and about 1/2 way through, he was done and wanted to go do something else. He hung in there and finished the movie and went to Chick-fil-A for lunch.

Chick-fil-A has a great play area, with climbing and sliding and stuff while waiting for the food. he had an Oreo Shake that as the bomb! After playing for 1 and 1/2 hours, he was ready for a shower.

At home, while he was taking his shower, his mommy was sneakily wrapping his birthday presents. He saw all of them on the table and was pretty impatient to open them. there was present from Grandma and Grandpa Sherman, from Bestamor and Bestfar Amundsen, from his Sister Jasmine and his other Sister Krystal. One from Mama and one from Papa.

While he sat thinking about how much he wanted Star Wars and Spiderman and Power Rangers stuff. "that is all, that is enough"

now for the cake, he wanted a chocolate chip power ranger cake. well since Mama makes them from scratch, it will be mostly what he wants. First we started with the cook book, and picked out an Italian Creme Cake made with buttermilk, real butter, shredded coconut, and pecan pralines. then we added in 1/2 bag of chocolate chips and baked it. While it was baking, we started on the frosting.

The frosting is cream cheese, real butter, powdered sugar and vanilla. oh baby, talk about yummy. we are going to chop up the rest of the pecan pralines to sprinkle on the top, Papa is going to go crazy over how yummy it is. After a taste test, Magnus and Erik concur that homemade is definitely the way to go.

while waiting for everything else, Magnus and Erik watched Curious George on PBS.

Presents opened... I wonder what is in all those boxes??

Grandma and Grandpa Sherman got a three Power Ranger Operation Overdrive zord thingies that can be combined to make one big ZORD thingy

Bestamor and Bestafar Amundsen got Lego Star Wars Landing Craft

Jasmine and Patrick got Star Wars Light Sabers and Spiderman DVD

Krys and Jason got Spiderman pool toys and little cars

Momma got a green Power Rangers Operation Overdrive and motorcycle

and PAPA

well papa went a little nuts

Papa got Magnus a Nintendo Game Boy Advanced and three games. (Lego Star Wars II, Mario Cart and something else) it was a big hit. Erik is super duper envious, and so is Sister. Magnus was extremely sweet and let Erik play with it first and was not naughty at all. what a good boy.

Magnus got his wish, he had dinner at Sweet Tomatoes, and he ate his vegetables and macaroni and cheese and ice cream. Krystal, Jordan, Krystal's nephew in law, Blake, Erik, Momma, and Papa all ate together. it was quite the herd.

then Officer Sweat, the local patrolman, he gave Magnus a Code 3 with lights and a siren as a treat. then Magnus washed his hands, brushed his teeth, and went to bed with a big hug from everyone.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

all about me

today I tried to do right. yesterday was a killer day of 1800 calories.

today fit day has me at

Totals 964 Calories
fat 31 g
Carbs 130 g
Protein 42g

I swear, I did eat,

chicken and 1/2 a 12 oz milkshake for lunch and dinner was at a salad and soup bar. Chick fil a was totally ausome with my custom order:
my daughter and my two sons and I ate out and we wanted it exactly the way that we wanted it. two chicken sandwiches PLAIN, no dressing, no condiments. a 6 piece chicken tenders, no fries, no extras, two flour tortilla, nothing on them (for the chicken tenders to make wraps, and two milk shakes, with four cups. the 8 year old and I split the tenders, each eating half. the four of us split the milkshakes, each getting 1/2 and then the 6 year old got a sandwich and the daughter got a sandwich. now it was not CHEAP, but we got exactly what we wanted and we threw away 1/2 a milkshake, the daughter decided it was too sweet, and we ended up taking home 1/2 a sandwich and one of the chicken tender wraps. but now we know that we really only need a 4 piece instead of a 6 and 1 tortilla. and next time we may only get one shake and divide it three ways instead of two four ways.

I ate until I was totally stuffed, I did not grazing, no snacks. course there were other people at the salad bar that could not believe that while I had two plates from the salad bar, there were just a table spoon of each item on there and only about 4 choices on each plate. they swore that I was not getting my full $7.95 value, but they were ginormous in size, and I do not ever want to go there again.

exersize was returning some clothes and buying some other clothes and talking to and from the parking lot, heehee

Sunday, June 24, 2007

clothes horse

today I tried to find a SUPPORTIVE swimsuit. they just do not make them more bra-like and my girls are way too saggy to just hang out. I tried some one and know my size so now I can customize something online. I really liked the support in the lands end suits.

as for my closet, now that I am in the ADORABLE size (heehee) I take better care of stuff, hanging up the stuff and keeping most of the wrinkles out. ;-)

I am getting ready to pack for my summer spa trip, and I have as official clothes horse the following:
7 long sleeve sweater / sweater sets, 7 long sleeve blouses, 7 collared short sleeve/sleeveless blouses/polo's, 7 tshirt/wife beater tops, 7 skorts, 4 work slacks, 5 denim jeans, 2 dresses, 2 bib/one piece summer thingies, and two mid calf skirts.

the undie drawer just got a make over (again) and I splurged and bought the kindest bras from kohls - Lilyette wireless OMG nice and comfy, and they do not dig into your shoulders. I tried three in march, got 4 more this week, so a grand total of [7], it seems to be my lucky number, I buy and buy until I have a weeks worth, goes to show you how often I do laundry. heehee, about every two weeks. snicker.

the most amazing thing in the world besides people that stop me everywhere and talk to me now, is that I do not own any elastic waisted pants.

all my pants are 'stationary' and I am not uncomfortable.

now I do have three work out sweat pants that are stretchy, but they are not for out side of the house. my new rule.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Little Visitor in My Bed

I am up at 4:30 am because Jordan spent the night at his grandma's house. He was having a rough evening, last night, and when I finally got him to sleep at 1130 pm, krys didnt have the heart to wake him back up and have to fight him back to sleep when she got home. He slept until 430 am and now he is back to sleep after sucking down a 4 oz bottle but I am wide awake.

so I am back to work.

I went to Office Depot yesterday, spent $141 on office supplies and nearly chocked, this morning at 5 am, I found a two coupons for $28 total that I could have used, and another one for $10 that had expired last week. I was sick. I am however, going to go back, and buy all the same stuff, use the coupons, then take the original receipt and get a refund. $28 is $28 bucks.

part of it is my own fault, I have more 'crap' and stuff piled up and I can barely find my chair in my office trying to get work done that I can not find my coupons when it is time to go shopping.

finally found the $60 off coupon for my tires from Costco. I just do not have the money yet to get them and of course the coupon expires the end of the month.

my tummy is starting to rumble, I had a bowl of soup with dinner, but didnt finish my squash, then I ate a bunch of pecan nuts and now 8 hours later, it is calling out for some food. I think that I will go make some cream of wheat / cream of oat blend. always a good choice for a rumbly tummy.

today I am wearing lilac polo (4) from Sears, Rino (4), grey low rise sweat pants, and flip floppy sandals

no accessories, have in tiny hoop earrings and my barefoot pendant necklace. no rings or watch this week, AF is visiting

Sunday, June 17, 2007

what I have learned this weekend

food. OMG. for those that are not at goal do not get in the habit of having contraband in the house.

if I have animal crackers in the house, I eat them obsessively.

if I oreos in the house, I eat them obsessively.

if I have trail mix in the hosue, I eat it obsessively

if I bake anything yummy in the house, I eat them obsessively.

this week I baked cupcakes, no frosting, I ate them obsessively.

I made a coconut cake, it is slowly dwindling away. finally getting the 'fulfilled feeling' from the sweets. I just make the cake per the recipe, no added sugar, no frosting, so I do not feel guilty enough eating it.

yesterday though I was a bad bad bad bad bad mambojamma, we were at the mall, I was STARVING... I had cottage cheese and peaches for breakfast, a whole can of lentil / vegetable soup for lunch, so walked down to get a water, seriously, that was what I planned, stopped at great American cookie, got the boys each a water. got them each a sugar cookie.

at this point, you have to say, JUST WALK AWAY right?

I got a large root beer no ice, and two cookies and nearly inhaled them. I knew I was going to dump, I couldn't believe that I was able to inhale them, but I did. I waited another 40 minutes on my husband to finish his shopping and we went to dinner and I was able to consume about 3x my normal post op food at the sweet tomatoes buffet.
I do not seem to have learned a damn thing in the last year. okay I have LEARNED but I have also be able to slip right back in there.

yes I used to eat only two cookies and drink a large root beer. no I never really went back for ginormous portions, I was able to maintain my obesity on relatively small portions. my husband was dumb founded by it. I would eat three slices of pizza, he would eat 7, he would lose weight I would gain it.

I feel for those that are not at goal. for those that are continually refocusing. I do not know why we as a collective are programed this way, that it continues to be a battle 12 months out. we knew the simple concept that less is more before surgery. we still know it. we know what it takes to loose, if we go back to the basics, eat what we did 1 month post op instead of what it takes to stretch our pouch, we can continue to lose.

I know that cakes are not good for me. I know that cookies are not good for me. I know that root beer is not good for me. and yet. here I am, still doing it. I may be able to maintain with my 'mal-absorption' feature and continue to do what I am doing right now. but I seriously doubt it.

I THINK that I am focusing on protein when I have a bowl of cottage cheese for breakfast, and the 1/2 cup of peaches on top are really my fruit serving for the day. but seriously, we are talking about 8 oz of cottage cheese and 4 oz of peaches in one sitting. that is a lot of food considering.

and it must not have done any good, because I finished it 20 minutes ago and I am already on my third handful of nuts / raisins / chocolate trail mix snack. I know that I NEED to go down and fill up on fluids. I do KNOW this. I just don't WANNA. for some reason my whole being balks at the idea of consuming PLAIN water. I know what is right and wrong, I just do not wanna.

now lunch today will have to be something with substance, because it is obvious that the slider food is killing me. and it is not that I am gaining or losing or anything to do with the scale. I am totally looking at this from a behavior management issue because while this month I seem to have a get out of jail free card and I can do what ever I want, this is not a good cycle to get into.

somewhere today I talked about frustration at not being able to drink a coffee without dumping, it so totally frustrates me that I on cream of wheat twice. that is the trigger that send me irritatingly to the betty crocker cookbook if I on something as wholesome as cream of wheat, then what the hell, I might as well on something yummy like cupcakes. darnit! stinkin thinkin will get you every time. reflecting back, I am sure it was the butter in the cream of wheat and not the cream of wheat it self that kicked my butt into the bathroom, which makes me even more disgrunted at myself, I should know better. I can not have 1/2 and 1/2 or even milk in my coffee what makes me think that I can have butter in my cereal?

I just want to scream. I know what sabotaged me this week, I know what I did to retaliate, which really sabotaged me last night. you would think that a person of my education (three college degrees) would get a freaking clue!!!!!

today is a new day, and having good feedback is a good thing. thank you.

I had my breakfast, a liberal serving of protein a la peaches

I should have had something great for lunch, but a las, I had a slice of coconut cake because it was JUST SITTING THERE calling my name. I had a ton of trail mix, so I got some protein in there.

and I made me some coffee... btw, if you'all wanna know what it is, it is Louetta Blend from HEB and it is to die for. I mix 1/2 caffeine and 1/2 decaffeine to take the edge off. I grind it fresh, one pot at a time, 2 heaping scoops of beans, and 6 cup mark for the water, makes about 3/4 of a 32 oz cup full which I consider a cup of coffee. not sure about those people that have a 10-12 oz cup, just seems wierd heehee I have a reverse osmosis filter (fresh filters this week) so the water is amazing, second closest would be Ozarka Spring Water. today I only added 1.5 table spoons of splenda, no milk to see if that is the cause of the , my body temperature had risen significantly, first sign of dumping, but no serious shakes at this point, always a good sign.

I had 'assumed' that once I got the weight off that the word 'diet' which is not really a healthy word would not be as much of an issue since after all, I would have a permanently small pouch and a mal-absorption tool FOREVER. well that pouch is bigger and for the most part I do not
as much as I thought I would over the evil stuff and yet I do over stuff that I think should be okay. it is a weird paradox.

HORMONAL oh baby, talk to me!!! I know about the carb fest with the hormones.. whoa nelly, do I ever. I think that I am okay, I know that I am more away, life is just so freaking complicated. ;)

looking at some back issues and side issues and all those peripheral issues, as a child of an alcohol I really do not want to even consider that I have had or would ever have an addiction of any kind, that would indicate that I have an issue that I simply at this time can not deal with and refuse to accept.


but I think for some reason, there was supposed to be a majic wand that was waved by my surgeon while I was on the table that would solve my problems if I simple accepted that I would have a tiny pouch and that if I consumed sweets and fats that I would barf and that if I was not careful I would become dehydrated. and that I had to consume vitamins all the time.

what about all the other issues? surely those went away with my life savings? I swear.. I do not want to think about tracks, or will power or anything I just want it all to be magical.


and I could be totally whining in my beer, I could just be at this magical stage for the next 32 years, nibble here, snack there, gobble here and chow down there. but I have a sneaking suspicion that is NOT the case. I feel like the meal is done, the deserts are on the table, and that THE CHECK IS COMING and SOMEONE has to pick up the tab. heehee

Saturday, June 16, 2007

full day of chores and errands

I got up, made hot oatmeal for breakfast for the family
shower and dressed
I made beds, picked up laundry, put laundry away
talked to customers on the phone
I worked on my database and I worked on two of my brochures for work, one for fall studio pricing and for daycares
I worked on my website ( that will go live in the fall
dealt with the fussy baby, who was screaming his bloody head off, pooping
Jazz called and I had to set up an online access account to her capital one credit card and her wells fargo bank to make online transfers, so that she could have an immediate payment without paying $10 with each phone transfer
I fiddled with my finances
Krys picked me up and we drove to get my car
filled her truck up with gas
dropped her truck off to get the a/c repaired
drove to the bank to cash a check, drove to a different bank to deposit the money
went to Kohl's and get me four bras and her a swimsuit top and a pair of Capri's
dropped her and the boys off at the house and picked up the husband from work
cleaned out the refrigerator, washed everything down, took the shelves out and washed them in the sink, repacked all the left overs into smaller ziploc containers, reorganized them so that they were all on one shelf, dh was having fits that he couldn't find anything
mail: the passport is still in limbo, I payed a bill of $2570 so that they would process the passport in march, they didnt get to it until june, now I owe $304 so I have to pay that or no passport. grrr on the phone with three people over that business
went to the seafood market and picked out three different kinds of fish
made three different dinners (krys doesn't do sea food and can not have leafy green vegetables, she got rice and carrots and beans, I had walleye fish and green vegetables, the rest of the family had salmon or halibut and corn (I do not do corn well)
then I baked a coconut cake, that was amazing
watched a movie with the husband (ordinary days)
drove krys and baby home
filled up my car with gas in my pjs, placed 15 brochures for my photography business in the little brochure slots at the gas pump for the gas co credit cards (already empty)

Friday, June 15, 2007

Erik Cameron Well Visit

Information Entered
Age: 7 years 8 months Sex: Boy
Birth Date: September 29, 1999 Height: 4 feet 5–1/2 inch(es)
Date of Measurement: June 13, 2007 Weight: 57–1/4 pounds


Based on the height and weight entered, the BMI is 14.1, placing the BMI-for-age at the 9th percentile for boys aged 7 years 8 months. This child has a healthy weight.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

You have GOT to be Kidding Me!!

okay, so I am not a world renown Photographer (YET!) but holy crap! My time is valuable.

6 months ago a "Person of some Import" at my Son's School goes on and on about wanting a portrait. fine. she goes on and on about having it done at her FARM. fine. she contacts me 2 months ago and says she wants it by such and such date for Fathers Day. fine. First Appointment, I book Krys to assist me, she cancels because she is driving to the dealership to pick up her boss that has dropped off her car for repairs. okay. I GUESS. but hardly an all day thing. I kindly reschedule.

the next scheduled appointment, I book Krys to assist me, she calls the day before, and says that they have not 'baled the hay' in the field that she wants the photos of her horses shot (okay, you have got to be kidding me!) fine, I am getting a little more irritated that she would assume that my time is nothing, this is a business for me but I do not think that she gets that. I half heartedly reschedule for the following Wednesday. Explain that I do have another appointment scheduled that morning, and it might conflict with her wishes. she reassures me that I won't need 'all day' for this session. I explain that there is no way I can get a 16x20 wall print done in time for fathers day unless we proof the same day, I can bring a portable computer and drop ship the print to her. she says that she is going out of town and I will need to get her a proof book THE NEXT DAY before they leave on the plane. okay, now I am pretty happy to oblige my good clients that have been loyal to me for years but the presumptuousness of this person is starting to really amaze me.

I heave a big sigh, I acquiesce. She is a person of some import I keep reminding myself. she offers to have my boys go horse back riding on her horses, I agree that would be fun for them.

the day of the shoot, I get up, and load up, we drive ALL THE WAY there... 76 miles ONE WAY. We leave at noon, this is through back country roads with tractors and farm equipment on the road ways, we leave Klein Texas, cut through Tomball, over to Prairie View, down to Pine Island, over to Bellville, through Cat Spring and finally nearly into New Ulm. now granted it is a nice country drive. beautiful weather. we stopped for lunch in Bellville and talked a local hottie to get directions, which was not unpleasant. but GOOD LORD! 2 hours later, we arrived at the cut off that takes us off the paved road and down a dirt path with my little Honda Hybrid.

we drive and drive and drive. we come to a fork in the road, I call the client who said to call when I got to the gate and the grounds keeper would come out and let me in. No answer so I leave voice mail on her cell and at her work.

We fortuitously meet up with Chester, (I kid you not) that is on a tractor moving big round hay bails. I have a sneaking suspicion that he is cleaning the yard for the shoot. FINE. we figure out which drive is her's and proceed to drive through basically a cow pasture with THE HONDA CIVIC. not the FORD F150 or the DODGE TRUCK! but a Honda Civic. we get to the barn. I unload my camera. Krys unloads the kids. Erik is 7, Magnus is 5, and Jordan is almost 4 months. and we set out to locate the best shots.

I find the cows, I get some nice shots of the new calves. I find the lake, I get a nice shot of that and the house. I find the windmill, I get a great shot of that. find the other other other barn (there are three or four, not sure, lost count) and get a nice shot of that. meet and greet three of the 7 horses. grab some individuals of them.

walk back up to the house, we are dry, tired, hot, exhausted, did I mention HOT. and sit on the porch waiting for the client to show up. maybe she is running late. It is 4 pm, and I tell the boys to walk down to the lake/pond and get wet to cool off. we have already used up all our bottled water, I am holding the baby on the porch where we are out of the sun. now I grant you, if ever you are STUCK waiting, this is not a bad way to wait. sitting on the porch of a million dollar farm is definitely the way to go. but without a hostess, I feel uncomfortable. I call again to find out if I am even at the right house. she answers completely lost.

what appointment?

HELLO??? the one that she insisted on because she is leaving the next day to go out of the state. THAT ONE? the one that I squeezed in even though I had a 10 am that I pushed back to 9 am in order to accommodate her. THAT ONE! the one that I drove for two hours to get too, waited for three hours and now have two hour drive back home, completely blowing my whole day. She does not remember confirming that we would actually going to do it. as if I was making it all up. FINE. I can just shoot the other horses and clone them all in, "where are the horses". "oh, they are in the bottoms, too far and too dangerous to shoot alone." "FINE". I swear in my head.

Krys hears the exchange, knows my 'voice' and starts loading the kids before I can get off the phone. we head out, and make our way back home. Obviously I was not in a good mood, I ended up making the return trip in less than an hour. Poor Honda Hybrid!


Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Husbands and Weight Loss Obsession

my hubby was totally supportive, but said 'nothing' about my weight loss.

the first three months: I went from 247 to 198
at first he was terrified that I would die, and that he would have to raise the kids without me. I didnt die. I lost

the second three months: I went from 198 to 165
then he was worried that I would not 'stick to it' and that it would have been a waste of money. I stuck to it.

the third three months: I went from 165 to 145
then he thought that I look really good, but I was not 'done' and could look even better if I were at goal or even below goal. I kept eating what I wanted to slow down.

the fourth three months. I stabilized between 142 and 147
he is happy with the change, he sees it as his opportunity to have more sex. I do not want more sex and he thinks that he got jipped.

what I have learned and what every other person has to remember is that we do not do this for them. we do this for US. it is all about US. they do not care about wow moments. they really do not care what size clothes we fit into this week. they do care how much money we 'waste' on new clothes that we will only wear for 4 weeks so would prefer that we just buy three pairs of sweats and keep cinching up the drawstring until it is all over. heehee

no one in my family wanted to obsess over my change as much as I did. everyone got to the point that they really didn't want to talk about me.

Sunday, June 10, 2007


This week has been difficult, my heart is giving me some issues. first it is all fluttery and jittery, Tuesday and Wednesday. Yesterday it had been tight and achy. Kinda hard to breath last night.

I made a blend of caffeinated and decaffeinated beans and have been grinding my own each morning, just enough for a pot. this week I was down to the bottom of the bag. the jitters have been getting worse and staying up later and later. I obviously didn't mix the beans well, I am getting pure octane. so Friday / Saturday I didn't have any.

HOLY COW. I got super jittery and terribly cranky. bad bad bad detox!

Last night I had a chamomile / Russian Caravan Tea. Today I had some full octane tea, English Breakfast that I nursed all day. I am feeling better, but still a little out of sorts. Took a nap with the boy (Magnus) and am feeling a little better.

Friday, June 08, 2007

10 Suggestions

1. Remain close to the Great Spirit.

2. Show great respect for your fellow beings.

3. Give assistance and kindness wherever needed.

4. Be truthful and honest at all times.

5. Do what you know to be right.

6. Look after the well being of mind and body.

7. Treat the earth and all that dwell there on with respect.

8. Take full responsibility for your actions.

9. Dedicate a share of your efforts to the greater good.

10. Work together for the benefit of all man kind.

let me walk in balance today. Remove from me resentment, self pity and self seeking motives. Let me love myself so I can love my neighbors.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

On Track

Breakfast: 1 package of oatmeal
7 oz OJ
20 oz coffee
4 oz milk

Lunch: 1 small pork bar-b-que sandwich on white bun

Dinner: 2 oz chicken, 1/2 tsp sour cream, 1/2 tsp guacamole, 1/2 tsp mozzarella cheese

Snack: 2 1/2 cup servings of peach cobbler
7 oz water

I go to and log what I ate

Total Calories:1054
total fat: 23
total carbohydrates: 165
total protein: 47 <-- what I seriously watch

now for fluids, it was not a good day, I should have gotten in way more than 40 oz, I must do better tomorrow

for exercise, I worked out in the yard for 1 hour, so I am good to go. yesterday I rode my bike for 5 miles, I could feel the burn in my legs. but I only ride periodically.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007


I took my torment out on the bushes in the back yard. now there is a pile in the driveway that is as big as the car. the back yard does not look any different. that just goes to show you that in the tropics, there is just too much crap growing all over everything. but I 'FEEL' better. got a serious work out moving all the branches. got the crap scratched out of me as well, but I burned off some emotions.

rode my bike for 5 miles yesterday, could feel the burn in my legs. they need to be toned up some more. I have been a slug for way too long. course this too will go by the way side. I never keep up that for very long and then I slide back into my vegetative state. at least I know me better.

did finally bite the bullet and ordered plane tickets yesterday. confirmed reservation with motel today. July 2 - August 13. 6 weeks sabbatical to spend time with family and not stress over customers. should put in my 'new' shopping cart and test drive it before fall.

speaking of work. I was out Friday night with Krys and the 'boy' at the ER for colic, until 4 am. then went to a photo shoot Saturday from 2 pm to 4 am.. yes. I did not get home until 4 freaking am.. my choice, we were talking and talking and talking. what a bunch of nice people. and did I mention 4 am? holy moly.

so I TRIED to sleep in Sunday. ha, what a joke. the boys were totally buggin. which is what brought on the attack on the bushes. Sunday we whacked. Monday we moved. Tuesday we bind and bundle. Wednesday is trash day.

but anyways, about my customers. so we shoot for hours, we proofed for hours. and then I get home and edit for... you guessed it.. HOURS. my eyes are buggin now. ;)

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Portrait Parties

well I THOUGHT I was done for the season, but obviously I am not.

A party scheduled for today.

a location session with horses scheduled for the 8th.

and a maternity session scheduled for the 16th.

I still have to book my flight to Washington soon.

Make a trip to the bank today.

Was with Krys and Jordan in the ER last night, until 4 am, he either has colic or an ear infection. exhausting work to have a baby that screams for hours and hours.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Diet On Track

okay, I am being better behaved this week


[x] vits
[x] fluids

B: 6 oz Cottage Cheese & 1/3 cup Tropical Fruit
20 oz coffee/1% milk/1tsp vanilla/1.5 Tb splenda

L: 1 grilled cheese sandwich (2 slices of bread, 1.5 slices of cheese, 1 Tb margarine)
2 oz tomato soup

12 oz coffee/1% milk/1tsp vanilla/1.5 Tb splenda
2 calcium chews

D: 8 oz praline pecans
1 medium banana

S: 3/4 bag of popcorn, 12 toasted mini marshmallows

weight: 144.5 lbs (up .5 from last week, but down 1.5 from three days ago)

Calories: 1593 Fat: 109 Carbs: 118 Protein: 51

okay the breakdown
fat: 62% Carbs: 25% protein 13%

[[ range of 20 to 35 percent for total dietary fat. The acceptable range of carbohydrates is 45-65, while protein should comprise between 10 and 35 percent of daily calories (40 grams/day for females).]]

(GOOD GRACIOUS: how in the world did I sqeak in that many calories? okay, 50% of that was the pecans.. and that is a healthy choice, but WOW! and 1/4 was the sandwich, also still a healthy choice, compared to the greasy alternatives in the drive through of the golden arches)

okay checked on the poly / mono / sat fat thingy:
sat bad - 12%
poly good -16%
mono great - 31%

okay back on track... I KNOW what I am eating, I KNOW what I need to do each day and NO MORE DONUTS. heehee

***Morning Sex UPDATE***

so we proceeded to round 2 last night. lights on but bra and very nice skimpy swimsuit cover, however, it did lose some effect in the fact that I had to come into the room more or less nakid to get the cover.

I felt much better about me, he didn't touch anything that I didn't want to.


what if's ran through my head

what if this is not the only way

what if we could just be normal

what if I really could just FIX IT instead of hide it, mold it, shape it, but actually BE

would it be worth it to put up with drains, tubes, anesthesia AGAIN, pain and agony again.
I dismissed it and concluded the job at hand, but today

it resurfaced again. what if

what if I could find a stellar local surgeon

what if I could get insurance to cover 80%

what if I could get up the courage to go through the recovery period again

what if I could get through the pain and worse the PITA of tubes, drains, and 'stuff'

I know that I think that I was a complete IDIOT to not get RNY years ago. my husband is holding out that nature will solve all my problems, I am 90% sure that THAT will never happen to the degree that I am not wanting just due to the shear fact of carrying the twins and nursing 5 kids for a total of 61 months.

then there is the other when's

when can I afford to do it

when can I afford to take time to do it

when is the right time postop to do it.

what if I wait another 5 years and discover that just like the WLS, I wasted those 5 years, I could have been so much healthier.

A person could spend 3 days talking to themselves non stop if they let themselves.