Thursday, January 31, 2008

Laughed until I hurt

A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?

He asked for help and she could see why.

Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked, and sure enough, they were.

It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet.

He then announced, "....These aren't my boots."

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?", like she wanted to. Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said,"They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em."

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, "....Now, where are your mittens?"

He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."

She will be eligible for parole in three years.

fairly good mood for some reason

must be the Kahlua chocolate pudding chocolate bunt cake with cappuccino icing. I made the icing with powdered sugar and folgers cappuccino mix.. drizzled back and forth over a hot steaming cake and then let it cook into a semi hard state before slicing each sliver of coffee heaven... wow I get excited just thinking about it. LOL

we are freezing and wondering just how much longer winter will really be. 48'F is just not civilized.

yesterday as way to stressful for me with my family tugging at my apron strings. today has totally ROCKED OUT!!

I made a list of things to do, I have friends that are thinking about me. I have a family that is coping on their own. I am needed as a helper for the B&B in Houston, that is totally rocking my world. I got a new client last night. I am just too happy for words. my 22 year old daughter is apparently moving out this weekend. I have been extremely busy this week, lots of photos to edit, I have a big deadline tomorrow and another one on Friday, I am not sure how I will survive the SPRING season, which will start in a month and then all hell will surely break loose here.

I have hired a personal assistant and she is working on the bookkeeping and will be running a few errands to keep me from loosing my mind. I am registered for a class in two weeks that I am extremely excited about, it is maternity and new born photography, but the marketing I am sure will benefit all aspects of my business.

if I were any kind of good girl, I would spend a moment to put together a slideshow of the boys over the last few months and send it. it is seriously on my list of 'to do' and has been for MONTHS. I just need about 5 or 6 more hours in each day.
today I was able to get Chava' cards reordered, Keith's order delivered, Lexa's order processed and shipped, Krys's dress to the cleaners, dinner cooked, dishes washed, bed stripped and all the comforter blankets washed, both boys homework done, boys room cleaned and vacuumed, a note to Magnus teacher, he is being tested for dyslexia, trying to figure out why he has SUCH a hard time reading sight words (bank of words that kids should be able to recognize by sight without sounding out) as well as dealing with Sverre whom is sick and 'needy' heehee

awe man, now he is complaining that I can not do laundry properly, heehee I swear, he is so 'fired'. this morning it was the dishwasher and the kitchen sink not being clean enough. now it is the mixing cotton and synthetics in the wash. goodness gracious. he is sick and not able to clean, I clean, and I do not clean properly. I may fedex him home to Norway. giggle giggle

but anyways, back to work and family. we have been running nonstop with the boys activities. scouting Friday night, Saturday, and Monday night, chess club Tuesday, and homework in between, there is a girl that is really good friends with Erik, her mom works late, and rarely gets dinner on the table before bedtime. last night she ate over with Erik's friend nicks house, tonight she ate over with us. I feel sorry for her, she is really a sweet kid (she is in 5th grade, but totally loves hanging out with Erik and nick both 2nd graders. she really looks like a boy, and has very few friends, so I can see how she is grateful for the boys including her, but it makes no sense that she has no friends since she is really very nice.

okay, I have got to get to bed, before Sverre shuts off the light before I am ready.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Coming out of the Closet


Saturday, January 26, 2008

Cub Scouts Pine Car Derby

Magnus is very intense as he prepares to "release" the race cars.. his is the red and silver on in the 3rd position. Erik raced this day as well.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

buddy.. my buddy..

now that I have all these buddies.. time to visit them at home, bring a pint of coffee and a scone

Marissa is as sweet as sweet tea, helpful and kind to a fault.

Sarah is a true angel, she and I have been down the same road with hard lessons and simple realities

Christie is just a hoot and a hollar over yonder and I am still trying to figure her out, definately a cup of java during the Babies and Bellies in two weeks are in order!

Melissa is in Missouri and if it is the SHOW me state.. what would she SHOW me? heehee

Joy is really a Joy.. and her images make me get all misty eyed. I would love how to capture the emotion that she does in her images.

Michelle is much braver than I, she is willing to put her self out there and compete. I am no where near that brave.

Tina: Florida.. I can do Florida, Florida is warm. website is just breathtaking.. I am truly humbled by the experience. and the blog matches the website.. oh baby.. I am gonna really get to know TINA.. she totally rocks.

Chrissie is in Pennsylvania... that has got to be COLD right about now, so visiting is just not an option... it is not only the beauty of the eyes that she captures in her little peps, but the beauty in the landscapes that are obviously for FUN. that tells me that she loves her craft.

South Carolina... Kim is something of a creative genius. even my grandson, sitting on my laugh breathed serious sighs when he saw the babies.


Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Weekly Menu

Grilled Monday:
onions, bell peppers in one pan
broccoli and carrots in the steamer
corn and peas in second pan
chicken with seasoning salt in caste iron
heat and serve with Contadina Sweet & Sour Sauce

Taco Tuesday:
I lay a flour tortilla on the saucer, smeared sour cream over it, laid a leaf of romaine lettuce, would have sliced up some avocado if I had it, sprinkle some picante sauce, caramelized onions and bell peppers, some grilled chicken or hamburger, sprinkle with mozzarella cheese, roll tightly .. oh baby

spaghetti... same marinara sauce as Sunday Pizza over whole wheat spaghetti

Soup and Sandwich Thursday
grilled cheese on whole wheat and hard boiled egg sliced and served in the middle of a bowl of Amy's chunky tomato bisque

Fish Friday:
I go to the local fish monger. he gets the freshest freshest fish flown in... it is amazing. currently we are on the 'Kona Kampachi' Kick. this stuff has the texture of chicken, you can not over cook it and you can not under cook it. it is AMAZING. I sprinkle with lemon pepper, italian seasoning and cook on the stovetop in caste iron for 30 minutes (1 lb filet) with out any oil, served with steamed broccoli and baby carrots.

French Crepes Saturday:
Every Saturday we make up these little darlings, I sliced up a banana in mine, roll, slice and devour.
3 eggs
2 cups of milk
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp cardamon
1 cup of flour

Pizza Sunday:
we make a pizza dough with arrowhead mills unbleached white flour water, honey, yeast, oil. toppings are homemade marinara, (1 can diced tomato, 1 can tomato sauce, 1/2 can sliced black olives, Italian seasoning. on the pie, we put mushrooms, bell peppers, onions, pineapple and shredded Italian four cheese blend. bake and slice into 8 slices, I get one. my dh gets 3, erik 2, and magnus 2

sadly, this is truly how structured our dinners are, EVERY SINGLE WEEK since 1999. they rarely deviate. every 6 weeks we might eat out at a salad bar by the mall. occasionally I will go out of town and eat at an olive garden, or meet clients at a steak house. but for the most part, we buy the exact same ingredients every week in the exact same quantities and we do not deviate. my dh does 90% of the cooking and this is what he knows, this is what he does, and this is what makes him happy. he cooks, I do not complain. ;)

Monday, January 21, 2008

New Years resolution to get healthier?

the weight loss is done. I am 20 months out from when I went to the doctor and she said, lose it or die.

I have been stable at 150lbs for 12 months so I am considered a success.

the extra skin has shrank up nicely in all honesty and so far I would LIKE to have plastic surgery but I really do not think that I NEED plastic surgery, so since it is such a PITA to heal, I will just by pass that whole thing and consider myself DONE.

the funny thing about this is, while my tummy is about the size of a fist, and I can only eat 1/2 a kids meal at Olive Garden, I do not really gain or lose from month to month. yesterday I made myself a ham sandwhich and I got down a little over 1/2 before I was full, gave the rest to Krys. I know now that I really need to just make 1/2 of one instead of wasting them or hoping that someone will come along and help me eat something. heehee at Olive garden, krys didnt finish my alfredo pasta, but she did finish my salad for me. her husband didnt say anything about us sharing (I stole about three bites of Jordan's Lasagna), I am sure he thinks that we are nuts.

I consume about 1K calories a day and am looking healthy. I got some 'fat' back in my face and do not look as stark anymore. I find myself on the scales about three times a week now, just double checking that I am not going over my goal weight. I was 147 for so many months that now I get a small heart flutter when it says 151, I really would have preferred to bounce between 145 and 150 instead of 149 and 151, it is kinda upsetting that that bothers me, but I know that if I can accept 151, then it is easy to accept 154 and then well 154 is okay, so 158 wouldnt be so bad, and next thing you know, I am right back to where I was. so I am keeping my eye on the scale and if I stay up over 151 for too many days, I cut back on the snacks and increase the protein and increase the fluids.

but I am sure you were really just wondering if things were getting easier yet, huh? heehee which for the most part, they are. I do not count stuff anymore, I do not measure stuff anymore, I do not fret about grams of this and calories of that and ounces of the other. I just live my life now and try to keep my blood sugar balanced. if the glucose gets too high (two or three oreos), I am having a serious hot flash, if it gets to low, (skipping meals) I am freezing like a Popsicle in December.

but I have not had to change up my clothes sizes in 12 months, so that rocks. I just finished my 'theoretically' last trip to the store to get the 'basics', I got 4 sweat shirts and 2 sweat pants and 2 tops and a polar fleece jacket to sleep/lounge around the house when I am not 'working'.

I watched What Not To Wear for two years, and now I do not know how those people expect to get a whole wardrobe done in like two days, I do not care if you are in NYC, that is nuts. it took me 12 months to get a whole wardrobe. and 15% I bought and then threw out, because while it looked good on the hanger, after it was washed 5 or 6 times, it looked like hell. I founds some designers that I like now, so that helps. I stay out of Sears and stick to Kohls, and sadly, Ralph Lauren holds up much better than White Stag. which sucks. ;) since White stag is about $9 and Ralph Lauren even in a resale shop is about $18. I really wish I had a personal shopper at Kohls, that place is great for deals, but it is poorly organized as far as where the misses stuff is and how the misses is on the juniors racks and visa versa.

at least the Dh is supportive, he has stopped nagging me about the 'junk' and has calmed down that I am stable even though I am not 'eating right' so we are happy.

anyone else making yet another new years resolution to get healthier? (I did it every year for 15 years (1989 - 2006).

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Tomorrow is a New Day

How can I maintain control over my body and the food that calls to me on an hourly basis? First I started with forgiving myself. liking myself. then I started with choices.

that returned the power to me. not giving it to the food.

I choose to eat the ham sandwich at home instead of the hamburger at McDonalds.

I choose to eat an apple smothered in p'butter instead of the oreos that I had in the bag after cleaning out the car from the road trip.

I choose to eat 1 slice of pizza instead of two. wait 1/2 hour and see if I was still hungry instead of taking two to start with.

I choose to find Healthy Nibbles to keep on my desk, because I KNOW that I am a nibbler, and tis better to nibble on nuts than to nibble on chocolate chips. heehee

I choose to live within my 'means' and that means that my tummy can and can not do things that can sabotage or rescue me depending on the situation.

last night I choose to go out for dinner with my daughter but I opted for the child's meal at Olive Garden instead of the adult meal. and I had a salad instead of the bread sticks.

I think that it is all about taking control rather than letting food or diets control us. I think that it is also about staying focused and not doing something for three months and then falling back off the wagon, it is easy to work on something when it is new, it is quit another proposition when you are 22 months out and it is not new anymore and it is not 'fun' and 'exciting' anymore and it is just day in and day out.
Business-wise, I feel like such a fraud. I could have written this myself. I just had a nice sale today. cold booking. proofed on the 50" Plasma, $1290 sale for a family studio session in my living room.

I SHOULD be jumping up and down screaming my bloody head off but I am just too tired. I shot a destination wedding yesterday and I hope to make $1K from it.

My husband is resigned that I do not want to move to Norway and that I really want to keep at my business and now I am so torn. all my whining has paid off that I do not HAVE to go but now I know that he will not be HAPPY if we do not go and if we go, I can escape before anyone finds out that I really have to earthly idea what I am doing.

I have signed up for two seminars in the next two weeks out of guilt that I really do not have a clue and do not know why no one has caught on yet. I got onto my dh that he was not 'believing' in me or being supportive. so his solution (of which I am ecstatically grateful for) is to buy me better equipment. OMG how do let him know that I am a fraud and a MWAC? heehee part of me wants to run screaming through the neighborhood, I am so blessed and I do not know what I did to deserve it?

I know that I am 'winging it' and nothing I shoot turns me on and gets me pumped up. I do not really even feel motivated to print anything for myself that I have shot in the last 6 months. it has all be 'auto pilot' and I have not even been 'working on my game plan' because I just feel that there is not enough hours in the day for 'the polish' when it is like overloaded like this.

I got my sales tax filed last week, with a small overpayment of $50 but at this juncture I am too tired to file an amendment so I will just let it go for now. chalk it up to experience and make better notes for next year's filing.

I have a FLOOR full of receipts that need to be correlated for Federal Tax filing. I got such a tremendous amount of work done this weekend on the laptop, That was such a fantastic surprize, not only a surprise on Christmas morning, but today when I was able to be prepared for a proofing session that I was not at all sure I would be able to pull off successfully 48 hours prior to the appointment. I was able to proof 1/2 of the session in a motel room the night before a destination wedding and the second half while I was waiting for Magnus to attend a birthday party this morning. I do have help coming on Tuesday to get the yard detailed. that is a blessed relief. So between the upgrade of the computer, that has completely changed my time utilization, the upgrade of the camera that has shown a significant change in my work, although figuring out the new software is a LEARNING CURVE. Overall I am feeling a lot of blessings and a small decrease in the stress level of my life over the last week.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

I hate filing taxes

I am singing the blues.....

I hate doing this....

I have put it off as long as humanly possible...

I have started renovations on my lawn to avoid this....

I can't believe that when I import my paypal report that it is ignoring the parts that are SALES TAX and just lumping them in... now I have to delete and start over

I am singing the blues.....

I hate doing this....


Sunday, January 06, 2008

Decadent Food

Since Jason missed out on Christmas due to his training program in the Marine Corp, we had a belated Christmas.

we had a dinner party last night, we invited 2 other couples, besides Krys/Jason and Sverre/I and it was nice to have enough room at the table for 8. I set up a second kids table for the boys, so in reality, we had 10 but not at the main table.

I took some of the left over Christmas turkey and make turkey / dumplings, and some carrots with brown sugar and thyme, deviled eggs, cranberry stuffing, creamed potatoes and gravy, black olives and mini pickles, candied yams with marshmallows,

In honor of Jason's Birthday on Friday, I served a chocolate chip chocolate cake dusted with powered sugar for desert.

we ended up eating until we were about to explode.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

unexpected surprise

Forever from 2006 is really good

Sverre actually likes Papa Roach. freaked me out, Usually he listens to symphonic heavy metal like Kamelot and Within Temptation. Course we've listened to the old school from 2001 papa roach, that sucks, but the new stuff from The Paramour Sessions is actually is good.

Scars from 2004 is pretty good.

Friday, January 04, 2008

fish friday

no, not catholic, but wow. this is a favorite routine.

Kona Kampachi Hawaiian Yellowtail
Kona Kampachi is prized by chefs and seafood lovers for its rich, delicious flavor and firm yet succulent texture, with culinary applications ranging from traditional sushi and sashimi to a wide variety of signature-building cooking methods.

we panfry it without more than a mist of oil, in cast iron after seasoning with lemon pepper and italian seasonings.

we steam some vegetables, broccoli and baby carrots, as well as pan heated peas and corn. only takes about20 minutes to cooke and even less time to inhale. it is THAT good.

our local fishmonger is Champions Fish Market and they are OUTSTANDING when it comes to fresh fish.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Freedom Trek

Student: Erik Amundsen
Country: Norway

In Norway, children start to 1st grade in school at the age of 6, they read, write, and speak only Norwegian. In the 4th grade, they all learn to read, write, and speak English as well. In the 9th grade, they all learn to read, write, and speak a third language, either French, German, or Spanish. When children reach the 11th grade, they state 'technical school' like junior college and learn a trade or prepare for college.

When Great Great Grandpa Olaf Andresen served as ships captain during WWI in Norwegian Navy. German's forced crew in to lifeboats, forced out on to the ocean, all drowned including Olaf,during what they called a Sea Trial. German Nazi's forced the entire crew off the ship into lifeboats, and then torpedoed the ship, sinking it, no one survived to shore from this attack in 1915.

After Great Grandpa Roald Juel Thommessen (Olaf Andresen's son-in-law) was the Norwegian Air force in 1929 – 1936, he served as the the General Major (like a Presidential Chief of Staff) for the King of Norway until 1960. During WWII, he had to live in Canada with the King during the German Occupation of Norway from 1940-1945.

Erik had earned his Cub Scout Physical Fitness Belt loop and his Cub Scout Chess Belt loop in November. Now he has completed his Citizenship Belt loop and his Language and Culture Belt loop. He is nearly finished completeing his Computer Belt loop and his Heritages Belt loop.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Happy New Year

We started 'cleaning' yesterday and will probably do lots more this week. took the curtains down in the kitchen and am washing them. noticed that the windows outside are filthy. new item on to do list. speaking of to do list. OMG. the fence needs to be replaced, and the gutters need to be replaced, and the termite damage in the garage / under the stairs needs to be replaced and the master bath shower needs to be regrouted, and the entire upstairs and the downstairs office carpet needs to be replaced and the popcorn on the ceiling in the downstairs,and in the master shower, and the nursery needs to be scrapped and replaced. I need to get someone in here, I know that I can not do this by myself. ;)

My visit Thanksgiving trip to Washington was really really good. I froze my tail off beyond imagination. my metabolism is such that if my blood sugar is too low from not enough carbs, I am freezing to death, if my blood sugar is too high from too many carbs I am burning up, so it is a delicate balance that no one had any idea of prior to my weight loss that I would encounter now. so I spend the day nibbling on animal crackers which are totally to fattening but help to keep my blood sugar balanced, just a few each hour combined with socks, sweaters, and sweatpants keep me doing okay. I noticed that the scale has been inching up (I was 147 lbs December 11th and 151.5 lbs today), so I am going to have to inch it back down. my parents drove over from Montana to stay with me during the holiday. they brought their camper and we visited every day for the 16 days that I was there. they are MORNING people and would get up and go for walks for 10 miles each day. picking up aluminum cans and recycling them. I am NOT a morning person, so I would hook up with them after lunch and we would visit. walk around Costco and sample the tasting tables, or something, we really need to find something more 'interesting' to do on my visits since it is deadly boring for the most part. ;) I do not like to walk, do not have the energy to walk like they do.. 10 miles is just too extreme. heehee but maybe put put golf or something. heehee

Naomi is getting pretty heavy, she is 17, about 5 ft 3in and about 165 lbs. She is still my pretty girl, but it does worry me that she is so large at such a young age, I didn't pack on the pounds until I was pregnant with her, after I had given birth to the twins. It is damn difficult to get the weight off once it is on. much easier to just not get that way to start with. but I am just the 'mommy' not the parent for her now. it is beyond my control. I did see her nearly every single day and had her over night a couple of times which is unprecedented. Just a few years ago when I really wanted to make a difference in her life, I was limited to 3 hours a day and 3 days a week. now that I can not make a difference and she has not shown a significant change in growth or maturity, I have her a significant more amount of time, like 6 hours a day, 6 days a week. This has caused me some anxiety that I can not make a positive influence since she is just not making any progress and probably has reached the limits of her ability. she can write her name, but she gets the shakes so bad that it is extremely difficult to read. she still has no concept of money. I helped her fill out a job application, just to practice. asking her the questions, and writing down her answers. she would like to work at Motel 6, and she would wash and fold the towels, and she would like to make $.45 an hour. she has unique skills, she watches tv really well and she is pretty (I guess I tell her that a lot, heehee) One day before her 17th birthday and the day that I was going to make her professional portrait, she got the scissors while I was talking to her grandpa and 'ignoring' HRH, she scalped her bangs off on one side. what a little vixen. I was going to fix it in photoshop and then decided, hell no, that is what she did, that is who she is, and I just left it. she is definitely a little spitfire.

Erik and Magnus are still in Cub Scouts and still interested in it. we have the pinewood car derby this weekend and I still have not gotten the dumb cars sanded let alone painted.there are just not enough hours in the day for me to do EVERYTHING. I really need another parent to step up and do some planning on this. ;) I am mother reader for Erik's class, once a month until the end of the school year. I am Magnus's Den Mother, three times a month for the rest of the school year. I was going to volunteer for Magnus' Mother Reader and then thought, Oh No, Not Enough Hours In the Day. back off and shut up. ;)

We had a really good Christmas... the kids got a Wii, we found one in stock just the machine, no bundle, on Friday at amazon and had free shipping, so we just paid regular price not the inflated one and had it December 24th. sweet. I got a humongous surprise.. first time in a very long time.. i got a laptop. and not just any laptop but the same power as my desktop so that i can run all the programs that run on that.. my Nikon software is just a ginormously power hog, so that is the limiting factor for my digital photography work flow. this really came in handy since I had a session on Sunday and my desktop power supply caught on fire on Tuesday and the replacement parts have not come in yet

Krystal left on the plane yesterday with baby Jordan to go to San Diego to her husbands marine corp boot camp graduation. she really doesn't know what kind of life she is getting into but she will learn. Jason will be here for 31 days leave, before he is to return to Camp Pendleton, California for Advance Infantry Training and then Military Occupation Specialty Training. AIT is 21 days, and MOS could be 6 months to 12 months, we do not know. is latest pictures of the grandbaby

we are still in a quandary about moving to Norway in this house. it is simply just not a good time and I can find so many reasons to do it - but easily find so many reasons not to. for some reason I keep seeing my children with their friends and hate the idea of taking them away, even though I know that they would make new ones. Erik and Brandon have been friends for 4 years and Erik and Nick have been friends for 3 years, I only have a couple of friends that I have been friends with that long. ;)

and there is the house. I have no idea where to even start repairing it, other than renting a storage unit and moving stuff in there that I definitely want to keep. not just stuff that I do not have room for, the garage sale stuff is going in the garage. I should be ready for the big sale in 8 to 10 weeks. ;)

I have been eating pretty badly lately, way to many animal cookies and Almond Rocha and junk my family gave me as treats.. today I boiled some eggs and had one for breakfast, I promise to make better choices this year. I am also going to do better on my fluid intake each day. I noticed that I am only getting about 32 - 44 oz a day, which is really really not healthy. I am keeping my calories at 1000 and my protein at 45 grams a day, I know everyone has their own idea of what is healthy, and to each his own I say. But for me, having found out what I can and can not do and what works for my body had been a long challenging process over the last 18 months. is my blog.

I have been reading Voyager by Diana Gabaldon and it is the bomb. I read the first two books of the series, Outlander and Dragonfly in Amber, I have Drums of Autumn and the Fiery Cross waiting to complete the story.

okay, now I have just written a short novel myself. hugs to all, I am going to have to get to work, I still have that session to proof, they will be here Friday night to look at proofs and will want to see something!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

scale inching up

at no point do I ever not want carbs. I swear, I dream about carbs. and the more carbs I consume, the higher my weight goes. so I am about to cut back on them for a few weeks. first, last and formost, if you fill up on the good stuff... lean meats and leafy green vegetables, you do not have room for the carbs... breads, pasta, rice, stuff like that.

this week I made a rice and broccoli dish and sadly, it didnt go over well. but that was just as well, since all the rice would have sent my blood sugar giger counter over into the red.

this morning was 1open faced sandwich, whole wheat toasted, with a slice of cheese

brunch was a bowl of plain cream of wheat

lunch was not a good choice as far as carbs go: potatoes, onions, carrots, zuccini, crook neck squash, seasoned with garlic, pepper, italian seasonings, I ended up consuming two saucers which was twice what I should have

dinner was definitely not a good choice, banana, tater tots...

so the only thing that I had going for me today, was that I did at least stick to my portions, but as for content.. tomorrow will need to be more protein, less carbs.. I will have my cream of wheat, some boiled eggs, and some turkey and see if I can keep the protein to about 45 grams and the calories at about 800 for the day. that for me is a target.

maintenance is 1000 calories and 45 grams of protein. I know that I need to get my fluids up, I think that I have only gotten in 44 oz today, which is 20 oz shy of minimum.