Wednesday, January 31, 2007

hand span...

my husband put his hands on my waist, with a thumbs in the front and the fingers in the back, and they almost touched. it was HIS wow moment.

my official waste size is 75cm and his hands need to be 17 cm longer to span, so that means that each of his hands must be 30 cm each (his fingers are extremely long, each of mine are only 23 cm span.

buying clothes is still 'stupid' when a 10 will not fit my bust, but an 8 is too big for my butt. annoying, just get the ps done already.

food. I am so freaking irritated with food. I can not eat enough at a sitting to last me 4 or 5 hours, and I do not have time to stand with the fridge door open wondering what the heck I should eat this snack.

would someone please run to the store for me and get YET ANOTHER TWO bottles of vitamins. gracious how can I run through them THIS FAST?

work is picking up, four appointments for February, that is really good. them calling me instead of me calling them. whoohoo

okay, I TRIED to eat like 'the other walnut tummies" and there is just no way! I puked 15 minutes after each meal, dinner, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. that was not a good way to go.

so I have to smile and keep eating like I have been.

today I had a great day:

B: 3 oz cottage cheese, 1 oz blueberries
L: 6 oz wendy's chili
D: 2 oz black beans, 1 oz chicken, 1 tsp avocado, 1/2 tsp sour cream, 1/4 oz shredded cheese

Calories Eaten Today

Tuesday, January 30, 2007


oh gracious:

B: chocolate cake
S: Wasa Cracker w/ cream cheese
L: chicken
S: clementine
D: sweet potato (Dumped it right back up)
S: bowl of cornflakes

grams cals %total
Total: 248
Fat: 9 77 32%
Carbs: 31 111 46%
Fiber: 3 0 0%
Protein: 13 54 22%

Yummy Recipe:
1/2 c. shortening
1 c. sugar
1 egg
1 c. mashed cooked pinto beans
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. cloves
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 c. applesauce
2 1/2 c. unsifted flour
1 c. chocolate chips
1 c. raisins
1 c. chopped nuts
In a bowl cream shortening and blend in sugar. Beat in egg. Add mashed beans, spices and salt. Mix well. Stir baking soda into applesauce. Add unsifted flour and applesauce to creamed mixture. Mix well. Stir in raisins and nuts.

Drop by round teaspoonfuls onto greased baking sheet. Bake at 375 degrees for 12-15 minutes, or until slightly browned. Remove to racks to cool. If desired drizzle with light glaze of confectioners' sugar and lemon juice. Makes 5 dozen.

we had a wedding this last weekend, at the after hours reception ( we had a formal dry reception and then a wet after hours one)

some idiot told the world that my sister had a tramp stamp. this cause quite the stink since the BRIDE has a tat on her back. the aunt of the bride was kewl but the groom had a fit, he was not going to tolerate some idiot saying that his wife and his aunt in law were wearing tramp stamps.

blood was shed.

work goals for the day:

D2D (Day to Day)
finish editing and order Durham order (done)
schedule the Russell family
deliver the Sherman and Livingston orders
schedule the Miles belly session (text msg)
proof / post Louvin belly session (done)
schedule the Louvin NB session (emailed)
finish D@#$ Bookkeeping (progress)

N2D (New to Do)
2007 Logo and color scheme
2007 Price List
2007 Referral folded card covers

New daycares:
secure chrysalis daycare
secure sehon daycare
secure rodgers daycare
secure little red school house daycare
secure binch daycare

okay. I took Doug Box's Class. I took Tim Babin's class and I 'wanted' to believe. but I did not really believe.


I believe.

I had a family session 1 hour outdoor. 1 hour indoor.

I offered HDTV 30x40 proofing (all the images were shown in high def 1920 x 1028 resolution)

I charged 1 hour for head swapping on one image.

and I charged full price.

let me restate that


I did not offer any discounts.

it took 1 month before the order was submitted but 'WOW'

so while my 'average' is $200 / family and this is a 'normal' family, not rich or anything. their order is $945 so far and they are interested in a dvd slideshow as well, but have not gotten back to me yet.

I am dying here. yes I need several more to PAY FOR THE HDTV system. but "WOW" that is what I made from one wedding or one small daycare. IMAGINE the possibilities!

my 5 year old has been singing for me

"I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky"
he is hysterical!

Monday, January 29, 2007

10 Months 3 Weeks 3 Days

that is true, I am getting small. it is more difficult to adjust to that than I had antipcated. I feel my ribs or my back bone and think, ewe.

I think I am having what people call a plateau. I am back up to 153 which can be attributed to a variety of things.

my hands are not swollen, so it is not likely dehydration
AF is not here, so not bloating
bm today so not retention

doubtful that it is overeating, still less than 500 calories yesterday

but your brain does strange things to you when this happens. you start to WONDER. did I ooops? have I blundered? I am assuming that it is just a normal thingy and that even if I wanted to, I would not be able to stop it from dropping in 3 weeks, but I am definately in the trampoline mode, where it will bounce and flux up and down but am where I need to be.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

hungry all the time!

gracious, during the wedding I was never hungry, easily living off from a strawberry here and a cookie there. 1/2 a protein bar and I was good for HOURS.

now that I am working on my taxes, getting all my book keeping done, I am starving all the time. I eat, sit and think about it and I am starving again. I just can not seem to shut off the 'hungries'


1/2 slice chocolate chip chocolate bread
16 oz coffee with a splash of 1/2 and 1/2, cut sweetener down from 2 table spoons to 1 tablespoon

2 oz water

1/2 bag small kettle popcorn (flea market)

1/2 protein bar

3 small french crepes with 1 teaspoon blueberries in each

20 oz tea

diet recall:
Calories Eaten Today
......... grams cals %total
Total: 357
Fat: 12 111 32%
Carbs: 54 204 58%
Fiber: 3 0 0%
Protein: 9 35 10%

okay, so it was a carbfest. going to increase the protein today and see if I can not decrease the appetite. I did walk 5 miles and that KILLED my lower back, I was not wearing 'proper' shoes and that must have contributed to it.

on a side note, my mom was 'counseling me' about eating, and as I was eating my popcorn that she didnt eat this or that so that she didn't get fat. part of me bristled up and it was difficult to keep from explaining to her, that I 'appeared' to be eating all day, but seriously had not broken over 500 calories. but I was able to keep my mouth shut, it is just too much work to educate the world that I am really doing what is best for me.

Friday, January 26, 2007

I would do it again in a heartbeat

I am glad to share what I know, what I have learned and what I can. I have a public blog about my trials and triumphs over the last year.

you can start at the beginning and read the whole store. but to sum it up.

I had the RNY with a Mini Pouch. which means that they only leave a 1/2 oz pouch and reroute all the plumbing. it is permanent and it forever and there is no 'sneaking', cheating, or anything.

I started out with my doctor first consult. I was told that I would have to change to a high protein, no carb diet, this familiarizes the body with a whole new eating system, protein, vitamins, and fluids become the most critical parts of your day.

it took me about 28 days to get insurance approval. it took another 28 days to get all the preop tests run, EKG, barium swallow, blah blah blah. some take longer, some faster. my doctor gave me a goal of 3 or 4 lbs a month to loose while waiting to reduce the amount of fat deposited on the liver. the helps for access to the stomach during surgery. I lost 27 lbs preop and my doctor really said that helped.

surgery was difficult, but not any more so than say having a baby. I went in on Wednesday, and was out Thursday. I rode my bicycle to the end of the block by Friday (6 houses) and by day 12 post op, I rode 9.2 miles, which admittedly was 1.2 miles further than I should have. but I am bull headed and stubborn.

I was on pure clear liquids the first 6 days, just broth and popcicles. by day 6 I was eating chicken and salad. I took as much morphine in the hospital as I could, heehee and plenty of liquid codeine when I got home. I did polish off one bottle, but was able to wean off it fairly easily, so that I was at it every 3 hours the first day, every 4 the second, and every 5 and then every 6 until I could tolerate the pain on my own.

I still have times when I just HAVE to eat something that I REALLY want, but is not good for me, and then my tummy kickes in and literally kicks me in the butt, I puke, and it is a 'come to jesus' and I realize, hey, stupid, 'heres you sign' and swear not to be stupid again. and that usually lasts a month, and then I do it again, but after about the third time, I wise up and cross it off my list.

even after a 10 months, I am still fighting myself on occasion, but it is getting much better. a lot of it comes from within yourself, to believe that you deserve to be healthy. it is not about being skinny, that is just a bonus, it is about being healthy. I can still cruise the store, see stuff like cookies and ice cream, and think OH BABY I WANT and I can walk away and realize, I really do not want to get back up to where I was. and I can maintain if I just stay away from the crappy carbs.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

gracious.. losing my mind

I was supposed to be in the classroom this morning to help, but ended up driving Krys to her OB appointment and dealing with the Dragon Lady. Krys had a Group Strep B test, will have the results in a week. the vaginal exam was extremely painful and afterwards, Krys went to bed and took a three hour nap.

the wedding went fine. done and over with. a lot of work for something that is over in 4 hours.

we were an hour late getting ready, so she did not walk down the isle until 3 pm. and we were REALLY late getting to the reception, should have more h'orderves laid out.

so far we are striking out on the jpg's from the whole week. I laid down my camera and am not sure that was a good idea. never trust anyone. just not a good idea.

the bridal shower was nice. the rehearsal was nice. the rehearsal dinner was nice. the wedding was nice. the reception was nice. the after hours party was nice. I AM EXHAUSTED! went to the OB today and no change, baby is still 3 weeks ETA.

I have one daughter married now. officially done the deed on Saturday. I am also officially at my goal weight (150 lbs) it took 10 months, but I feel really good. I will be a grandmother in 3 weeks and I am doing okay with that as well. work is in a lull right now, which is a total and complete blessing and I am grateful for that. so far we have had enough money to take care of each bill as it comes a long so I feel that I am receiving a ton of blessings right now reaffirming that I have counseled the children to make the right choices.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

yes.. too busy to blog

the house is FULL.

I got family and relatives coming out of my butt.

the flowers are done

the napkins are done

the dresses are done

the tux's are done

the photographer was in an automobile accident. change of plans.

the food is nearly done

I need some seasoning salt, some olives, four round table clothes, and four Tylenol! heehee

have not gotten any fluids in in the last few days but a cup or two of coffee.

I really need to get my sales tax filed, got an extension until Monday. just need to get through the next 24 hours.

Friday, January 19, 2007


I finally did it!!

the goal is met and the job is done!

275 lbs on March 5, 2006 and 150 lbs on January 19th, 2006,

7 months and three weeks post op

10 months and 2 weeks since my total journey began I am now at a much healthier weight.

I am able to eat pretty much anything I want in much smaller and healthier quantities. I can not believe the feeling of having a size 30x34 being BAGGIE on me. wow.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

love who you are, not what size you are

someone (also 7 months post op) said that they were jealous that I had reached goal and they were still 34 pounds away from their goal. which got me to thinking:

I have no idea what would motivate you. I am just overwhelmed with the emotions I am going through right now. part of me is uncomfortable with being able to feel my bones and that I am still getting smaller. I find that pants that I just bought three weeks ago are now really baggy. went to my doctor and he said to eat fatter things like whole milk and prime rib to keep me from blowing away. he expects that even so, I will end up loosing another 20 lbs and then bounce back up to this weight and not to stress. well I still do stress and so I started sabotaging my diet months ago, deliberately trying to stop the process so that I did not get too skinny. I wonder how many others do that. we look in the mirror and see someone else instead of our selves and are happy with 30+ extra pounds as a compromise from what we were, what we THOUGHT we wanted and what we really ended up looking like. I think in the end you have to find a weight that you are at, if it is here. fine. if it is there fine. but you have to be happy. maybe it is not the scale, maybe it is the size. but find your happy spot and then do not regret your choices either way.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

dancing the happy dance

the RSVP list is essentially done. the guest signature books are virtually done. all the paper is cut, just need to 'finish' the layouts. going to let Krys decide which goes where. may go to the school and use the sizzix to spruce it up some more.

my daughter will be married on Saturday (86 adults and 30 children) and I lived to see her walk down the isle, and bless her heart, she was gracious enough to let me have my way on everything. it has been 'my' dream wedding and she is the princess. I might not have survived to this day if it were not for the surgery and the change in my life.

2 lbs to go. I just had the yummiest dutch apple bread fresh from the bread machine. no guilt. just sweet pleasure that I am healthy and alive.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

tiny bits of stress

8 days from now is the Wedding, Reception and Casino Night
7 days from now is pick up tuxes, the Rehearsal and Dinner and Bridal Brunch and Boys Vs Girls scavenger hunt,
6 days is when we put together all the scrapbook pages for the guest register
5 days from now is the day the guests start to arrive, final fitting of tuxes
4 days from now is the day I have order the 16x20 portrait of Krystals bridals
3 days from now is printing the program.
2 days from now is krystal's bridal portraits
1 day from now is krystals hair highlights and I have to have completeded the beading on her gown
today is my trip to the dentist (2 crowns) and cleaning and organizing the boys room for a guest room

Monday, January 08, 2007

I got friends in LOW places

been singing in my head.
as the wedding is coming together. I really have to send out some sincere thanks.

wedding photography is by Donna Quarles and Brenda Logan. Quite possibly two of the finest ladies of my acquaintance. Absolutely two of the most talented without a doubt. they are sweet, kind, generous and my heart just melts. for them to take over quite possibly the most treasured part of the wedding just melts my heart.

the cake is going to be a stunning confectionery delight that is so sweetly created by Debbie Escovy of Cakes by Debbie. we were able to design ourselves the perfect cake instead of buy something off the shelf. to use this was a fairy tale part of the wedding. the cake will be three tiers, with white buttercream frosting, red fondant ribbons, red piping and white swirls. between the second and third layers will be the colonnade with the dancing figurines. (the colonnade matching the backdrop in the chapel that the grandfather of the bride and the mother of the bride have yet to complete, but that is just a minor detail.

the the veil has been so generously provided by Nancy Anderson, everything that Krystal dreamed of, down to the red crystals in the tiara were lovingly included in this precious part of the day.

the tux's are from Mens Wearhouse, not donated, but at a reasonable fee, since we attended the Bridal Extravaganza we were able to get an exceptional deal. and the dress. oh gracious the dress. we found the dress at David's Bridal. the freaky thing is that it is a short sleeved jacket and they do not HAVE a short sleeved jacket, so no one knows where in the world this dress came from. I have looked at every catalog of theirs and there is no short sleeved jacket version.

I think that Krystal is still in shock, she was so worried that we would not find a gown that would fit the baby and look good. This one does not 'hide' the baby, which was never our intent, but it also does not draw attention to the baby as if it is the main attraction, which was our concern. it just fits Krystal so perfectly and makes her look beautiful instead of fat.

the flowers and table center pieces were at a very reasonable fee from the Dollar Tree, as were the accessories like napkin rings, ring pillow, flower basket, garter and toasting champagne flutes.

the other critical vendor is Costco Warehouse. they are very economical for plates/ glasses/ and silverware and food.

the colonnade is a combination of columns from Home Depot, arches from Big Lots and rice paper screen from Hobby Lobby and netting and lights from Garden Ridge. and last but not least. the save the date cards, the RSVP Cards and the Invitations were printed with images of the happy couple and we really enjoyed making them. the ribbon was from Michaels and the cardstock and envelopes were from Office Depot.

some fun things about the accessories were the shoes from Payless and the bridal underwear and bedclothes from Cindie's that definitely made the bride blush.

I am just a little misty eyed right now that it is coming together so nicely. Jasmine and Patrick will be flying down United Airlines on a screaming deal from HOTWIRE.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007


piling kids in a little car can be a challenge. with a new grand baby coming, Krys already babysitting an 11 month old, as well as Erik and Magnus still in boosters. my car is going to be crowded. I do not know where the photo is, probably at home on my computer, but I have one with an alpha omega convertible, one with an Apollo 5 pt booster and one with a Graco full back boost but using the car's strap for the one of the kids, (I had a girl friend's kid with me, as well as Erik and Maggie. and I am pretty sure I had Maggie with the Apollo in the middle, and the Erik in the belt positioning booster on one side and the convertible on the other. but even when the twins and step sister Missy were little, I could get three boosters in the back of a Chevy Chevette so I am constantly amazed at parents that do not 'try' heehee currently we have Erik in a no back booster and Magnus in a full back belt booster and I do throw Erik's booster in the trunk when I need to get an adult like Krys back there or if we have Jackson (Krys babysitting gig) with us and Erik in the middle with 'gasp' no booster at all. funny thing is that Krys and Jazz graduated out of boosters at 2.5 years old and survived quite nicely. i would rather have them in the back and no booster than in the front with an airbag.

I am seriously considering getting a wagon/van for work. there are so many times when I am hauling my whole studio up to Huntsville and know that it is going to be a TIGHT squeeze.
march is going to be a BEAR! my bridge alone is 4 feet long. takes up the whole front seat.

I didn't start riding a bike until kindergarten, so I do not know where Erik got so taletned, but the boy has skills.

portrait studio. oh what a LONG process that has been. I still do not have it PERFECTED, but I am getting much better. first off was to buy 'proper' lights. I got two alien bees strobe lights and they are fantastic. the color is nice and I love it. I had 'hot lights' that were way too yellow, I spent HOURS correcting the color of my photos now I spend seconds running a batch process and I am done. as for 'ordering' makes it really simple. just have to keep my own head straight. I did accidentally forget two people that ordered 2 sheets of wallets, and they only got one, but overall out of about 200 orders, I only made about 3 mistakes. (one was missing an 8x10 and two were missing a sheet of wallets) Then I had a wonderful maternity, I am totally loving it. big promo coming out this month based on this image. as for the lighting, I just keep moving the lights around until I get them to 'wrap' around my subject and give more of a third dimension effect.

talked to Magnus on the phone yesterday, he admitted that me missed me and he wanted me to come home right then, told him that I had not packed, but that I would start so that I could come right home. he RARELY will talk to me on the phone, but he was pretty funny, I asked him to make me dinner, he said he was not allowed to make dinner, I told him to make me mac-n-cheese, he said I am not allowed mac-n-cheese, just lean meats and leafy green vegetables. that was pretty funny. told him that now I can have other stuff. so we talked about him making me a bowl of granola, he said that dad had dumped all the granola in a box and mixed up all the cereal. I then got him going on if they had put pancakes in the mix, this was silly and he told me, no pancakes was for dinner, so I asked him if they put waffles in the mix, then pizza in the mix, then tacos and spaghetti in the mix, all the things that I knew he had had for dinner recently. he stayed on the phone for a really long time. but I think that we are getting over the 'hump' if his abandonment issues. 2007 he will go with me for the summer.

I was really surprised that he was a quiet and compliant as he is about kindergarten. he is never in trouble. he is always quiet. he has a few issues about getting on the bus. about once a month. and it almost breaks my heart that he is so quiet and stoic about it all. he doesn't appear to enjoy it, but he goes every day like a trooper just to get it over with. I peek in on him when I am there to see Erik, and he is always just doing his work, not interacting with anyone else. breaks my heart.

Monday, January 01, 2007


most all are saying that you lost all the way out to your 1 year anniversary.

was it the same rate the last 6 months as it was the second 12 weeks? so far everything has been on target, first 12 weeks = -4 lbs a week, second 12 weeks = -2 lbs a week, now I am looking at the next 5 months until my anniversary.

Wongsa said a month ago to include fruit to slow things down, while I was not eating that much fruit then, I was eating fairly normally everything else. I have already incorporated a couple snacks, things like smoked salmon and animal crackers, so a mix of healthy and not healthy. breakfast yesterday was cheerios rather than cottage cheese. overall I would say that I am eating 1000 calories a day, I will have to fit day for three days this week to see for sure. it could be that even though I 'think' that I am eating all day, I may not be consuming enough calories.

Wongsa was shocked that I told him that I was consuming 3 oz per meal at my 6 month visit. he really thought I should only be at 2 oz portions. his recommendation at that point was to not go below 150 since I am so tall (5ft 7.25in). and that is only 2 weeks away considering the rate that I am going right now. On one hand, I had planned to be at goal 6 weeks ago, on the other, I am now okay with taking longer since I was not planning on yo'yo'ing up and down like a fishing bobber around my goal weight for the next 5 months.

it is good not to be alone. ;) not alone in knowing what it was like to live life as a person of enormous size. to live the life learning to eat less and to eat better. and to live life terrified of going to low or bouncing back up too high.

my surgeon said that I really do not have an extra 10 lbs to loose other than the skin. so he really did warn me not to go below 150 since the extra skin weighs 10 lbs and so underneath I would be 'underweight'. he was pretty animated when we talked about it one month ago. but I think that he sincerely thought that adding fruit into my diet would 'fix' the problem. He was so confident, that he even warned me not to eat bananas since they are fattening. (rolling my eyes) if only it was that simple.

have a joyous new year!

[[ Some people are like slinkies, they don't really have a purpose,
but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.]]

now on for the business.. do I do my continuing education in college station or in waterloo? I guess I will have to strongly consider my finances at the time. waterloo is in march and college station is in April. waterloo is $250 and college station is $515. waterloo is 3 days whereas college station is a full week. waterloo has sam puc and college station has the simone's. *sigh* or I could do like I did last year and just buy the class that I want on DVD.