Wednesday, November 01, 2006


how does anyone know, what to do? be close to this child, or close to that child? my heart is torn, I have two children at home, one grand baby on the way, one child in Montana and one child in Washington. but then again, I have always always always put those 5 kids before everything, before my marriage, my health, just everything.

this year, I have really put me first, and that is freaking weird! good, but weird. the more self esteem I have, the more self confidence I have.

BTW.. am I the only one that cringes when I say that?

do you have a TALENT? do you tell anyone that you have a TALENT? do ya? do ya?

yes. I have a couple of TALENTS. I have the patience of JOB with children. (everyone but my own. hehehe) and I am a talented with a camera, (most of the time) see, I do it, I constantly qualify myself.

I just can't seem to be able to say.

I AM TALENTED. and shut up and leave it alone.

I hear compliments, but I really do not see the talent. I see all the mistakes, all the oops. I really do not see anything brilliant in my work. I sincerely find myself biting my tongue or changing the subject when people compliment my work because I sincerely do not see but 1 in 5000 shots that I love.