what was quick and dirty in the beginning is dwindling and slow now. granted, the first few pounds are always lots of water, now is the HARD part. there is still a 5 lb fluxuation throughout the day that can just KILL the motivation, even though I KNOW that it is normal. I KNOW I should only weight once a week, instead of 3 - 4 times a day but I keep hoping that a drop in the scale will give me a lift in the motivation. so far it is not.
what I want is to just stop. I want food that is yummy. food that I like. I hate walking through the store and seeing food that I like and would like to eat. I want a sandwhich, I want a taco, I want an apple or banana. this is so frustrating. the first 5 lbs were a cakewalk, the next 10 lbs were harder but still fairly doable. now it is minicule ounce by ounce progress.
work keeps me distracted, but then again, I am also spending more and more time in front of the computer instead of exersizing or cooking proper food. I just do not want to think about it right now.
I have completed the blood work, the EKG, the Gall Bladder UltraSound, the Upper GI, the physical exam. all that is left is Medical Clearance and weigh in on May 10th. Have personally slotted May 31th for surgery that would allow 3 weeks medical supervision for recovery, and then an additional 6 weeks for low stress resting. Back to work August 15th. Part of me is so 'logical' about it and part of me is just screaming inside. But this last stall in progress on my own and my daily bouts of resistance are probably pushing my 'will power' to it's limit. I can do anything for 90 days and then I just can't do it anymore.
KAtins Menu:
breakfast: scrambled eggs, mozzarella cheese, smoked salmon, bacon, french vanilla chocolate velvet coffee
lunch: baby asparagus, mozzarella cheese, chicken breast
snack: Pria (2 g carb) bar
dinner: two rainbow trout, zuchini & yellow squash
Exersize: trip to the store, heehee
