Thursday, March 01, 2007

to barf or not to barf

THAT is the question.

my nerves are shot, capute, wasted. I am 'done'. long story short, my family have had some high maintenance needs for months now. and my pouch is very very angry.

I tried to get back on track, cottage cheese this morning is screaming at me.

chicken sandwich is really got me needing to just empty and reboot the system. I know that I would just 'feel' better if I could just and get it over with. my mouth has been salivating for the last two hours (my first sign of dumping).

it is always good to evaluated during days like this, it is like running down a problem so that you do not repeat it.

I couldnt :barf: properly because I had not consumed any liquids all day, so I was dealing with the dry heaves. but I did get enough out of my pouch that I could get down about 12 oz of apple cider and then I had a really good and productive :barf: took about four tries, but finally the offending BLUEBERRY that was not chewed up properly from 9 am came out and I felt much much much better. must have been a stricture, because now that it is gone, I am feeling better.

had 1/3 of a chicken sandwich from Arbys, that went down okay.

waited and had a 8 oz sprite mixed with a 2 oz of concentrated grape juice.

I got very religious in the bathroom. fortunately, it was the 'other end' that finally got moving with THAT version of the dumping. I swear it has been a TMI day.

to finalized my day... I have dropped down to 144 lbs, 6 below goal. I tried on some bras, I have freaking shrank AGAIN... down to a 34 C... which are not readily available. they are as difficult to find as 36D's were last month. I am totally and completely in size 4's and probably could get into a size 2... also my size 6's are so ginormous on me I had to borrow Magnus's belt (he is 5 years old and in Kindergarten) that is just so freaking wild, I can not image.

I am nearly done with converting my two car garage into a portrait studio. will take photos soon.

so as usual, my day is filled with triumph and sorrow.