Tuesday, July 18, 2006

I have no patience

I just want to be at goal already. I can see a change, not just on the scales, but on my body. However, I am alternating between rebellion and compliance. saturday was a 'bad' day, I got sick with every meal, granola was a bad choice for breakfast. soft pretzel was a HORRIBLE choice for lunch (gagged as I puked on the foamies) and projectile vomited on the 'premade' meatballs from Costco (too high fat content + did not chew well enough = blech! so total daily consumption of food -0-.

each day is a challenge. I am 'tired' of the same ol same ol taste, texture, and flavor. the best choices are turkey and roast beef lunch meat, but horrible gas. I am so sick of ketosis garbage mouth. asparagus works best, but so bleeding boring! sprinkled different powdered seasoning but nothing can mask the dull boring drudgery of it.

treated myself to some vanilla cookies (1.8 oz) with a WHOOPING 250 calories. YIKES. they were too sweet and I got heart flutters, so that was not a good choice. since the package had only 8 cookies (1.8 oz) I was able to STOP before I really went into Dumping. I was just dying for something to nibble on while watching a movie. it is all about relearning habits, so far. I think I would be better once I can have 'frozen' smoothies for such occasions.

I have been rather sluggish and tired lately, tried getting out and walking yesterday, had some salmon that was too oily, and some corn chips that were too blech, and some beans. that would have been fine if not for the corn chips, so rethink that plan. you can get totally filled up at the sample tables at costco with a normal size tummy, imagine with just 1 oz? heehee it is a whole new experience. ;) I did sneak back for two samples of the salmon, and should have just let it go.

have been taking naps each afternoon, just so tired. have been so very careful this week, not out in the heat and sun, hydrating, finally hit the mark yesterday. woke up without cotton mouth = clear urine = hydrated. it is a delicate balance.