Oh My Aching Back

My life. *sigh* my life.

can't seem to get a good night sleep on the bed, it is 10 years old and worn out at best. I am exhausted before I get out of bed in the morning. Does not help that I have been woken up by 6 am the last four mornings in a row. Drove 435 miles in two says to get some pictures down, some promotion going, and general business, not nearly as much fun as just road tripping.

As for my professional career, that is going well, it was in a downward spiral the last four months, but this month has been much improved, and now I am actually busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest. I am only making one appointment a day, by choice and that is just about right for work load.

KAtkins menu:

breakfast: eggs, turkey sausage, coffee
lunch: protein bar
dinner: shrimp cocktail, artichoke, yellow squash, zucchini squash, bok choy, portabello mushroom, mozzarella cheese, water

Exersize:
elevated heart rate from stress should count for something!

Teeder Todder

I have been working my tail off, got into a row with dh. My portable computer DIED on the plane home. My desktop is crapping out, and he says, you break every computer you have ever had. HELLO. How could I break a desktop? It just sits here, I do not kick it, knock it, or anything, I just WORK on it. I can not help it if the stuff I do is extremely graphically intensive and the processor doesn’t have the power to do it. I need more power. I asked him to look at it, he said that he could not DO ANYTHING. So I asked him how old the computer was that I INHEREITED from him. He said 6 years, and how old is the new computer he has? 4 years, and why can I not have his since he has a laptop from work. He got pretty miffy with me. I nearly cried, he is such a butt. He kept saying I had to buy my own. Tthhbbb~~

So I calmly walked away and read a book. He decided to work on my desktop and tweaked it a little. Defragged the c drive and it is working better. He can be such a boob. I have been so worried about finances that I have seriously considered canceling my tummy surgery.
1-we have termites, that is $1000
2-the desktop has issues, that is $1300
3- the dentist says that the crown and 5 fillings will be $875
4-the pharmacy says that the three month Rx will be $120
5-tummy $2000-2500
I do not understand why so many things have to go wrong at once. ;)
I keep telling myself that if I can do this well (-18 lbs in 40 days) then why not just keep at it. it is all just a matter of will power.

KAtkins Menu:
32 oz crystal light
breakfast: 4 eggs, mozzarella, picante sauce, 24 oz coffee (Louetta Blend + almond extract)
lunch: turkey strips, mazzarella, romaine, cabbage, olives, celery, carb free dressing, 32 oz crystal light
dinner:

Exersize:
4 miles at 10 mph on bike to store for some groceries

Progress

recent weight has continued to decrease, giving me a false sense of my ability to continue to do this on my own. after all, we are only talking about another 250 days at this rate and I would be fine right? what is another 250 days? oh that is right... just enough time for me to loose my patience and give up again.

movement... I dont wanna move. I am too tired to move. I could not get the motivation to leave the house if I wanted to. I was doing great friday and saturday, and then SUNDAY I just bombed out. I was really doing great up until then... working out in the sunshine, flying high, and then I just crashed sunday morning, I had utilized all my resources and I was crashed and burned again. may be the barometric pressure, feels too cloudy and icky out. I hate being a weather slut, constantly controled by it.

KAtkins Menu:
20 oz water
breakfast: scrambled eggs (3), mozzarella cheese, 24 oz coffee
lunch: salad: romaine, celery, and cabbage with portabello mushrooms, turkey, mozzarella cheese and dressing (in order of portions as well. 32 oz crystal light
dinner: chicken strips, salad, asparagus, 16 oz crystal light
salt and vinegar pork rinds, 16 oz crystal light


motivation: not today. maybe a new computer since my crashes every other hour expecially when I am WORKING!!

Going Under

2 Weeks Notice...

what can happen in two weeks? well flying over Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, Utah, and Idaho. eating out for 42 meals, walking 25 miles, soaking for 30 minutes in a jacuzzi, spending WAAAY too much money, watching way too many movies (list to follow), and crashing one portable hard drive.

progress, another 4 lbs gone, there were days that I wanted to just go eat some cake, but I curbed and had some 1 - 3 net carb items. and while I didnt loose any weight those two weeks, I didnt gain, so I am still qualified for the surgery. I have been approved by the insurance and so we are a 'go' I will called tomorrow and start the next round of goodies.

the difficult part that I have learned about me in the last two weeks is that I have a low frustration level. when I am with people and in a 'herd' I am fine and can resist the carbs, but as soon as I am alone and lonely, then I am craving companionship of carbs. this was not easy to face. I do not like to see myself as insecure. this week I watched the show on Discovery Health/TLC the 657 lb woman. wow, that was 'enlightening', I can see that she is a social person, every time they sent her home from the hospital, she would 'have an emergency' and need to be readmitted. she lost 200 lbs in 4 months, and is happier, but still not 'there' as far as physcological healing. she was disappointed that some fat was not removed during surgery. she didn't appear to have had any education on liquid diet after surgery, or vits. that seems sad.

as for me, I am still trudging along:
KAtkins Menu:

breakfast: scrambled eggs, picante sauce, mozzarella cheese, carb select 2 gram protein bar
lunch: broccoli salad, tossed green salad, cream of broccoli soup, water, Coke Zero
dinner: Walleye Pike, Halibut, asparagus

excersize: grocery shopping, post office, fish market, errands counts right?