Monday, August 28, 2006

Cocktail Dress.. at my age?

I have got to find a semiformal cocktail dress for my daughters wedding in 5 months. I have been searching online and in stores and finding that there are so many CHOICES now that I am a REASONABLE size. I do not know what size I will be, but now I am not limited to 'size' but to style and taste and color.

this has not been the case for so many years, it is just as strange as if I were to suddenly empty my bank account and open my car window driving down the freeway and just let all the bills flutter out of my hand.

I find myself in very unfamiliar territory. I am having trouble even remembering what neckline I prefer. banded sweetheart or something. my daughter has specified that I absolutely can not wear black, I guess I have been wearing black for so long now that it has transcended trademark and gotten downright mournful and depressing. ;)

so that is also a challenge, the little black dress is not an option. I have to find something but I can not rush, since I do not know what size I will be and I swear, I will end up waiting until after christmas sales and Pray for good luck.

of all the things that I would be worried about, this was not one I planned for.

the colors of the wedding are red, black and white. so she would be thrilled if I wore red. I look good in jewel tones, but I prefer sapphire or wine than ruby or emerald.

heehee she would kill me, but hey, I worked hard for this body! Just today I was feeling frustrated that I have had to 'give up' so many things over the last 6 months, but when I think about all the possibilities of shopping in 3 more months, it is an almost heady experience

I have to confess I have never spent more than $50 on a single outfit (not piece, OUTFIT) in my life. I just know that I am going to get cold sweats when I do this.

I nearly died when I paid $120 for one of my daughter's homecoming gowns.

my number one biggest issue will be that even after loosing all this weight (80+lbs so far) is that I am still a 40DD. THAT part has always been impossible to shop for.


I could probably get into their homecoming gowns now. HEEHEE

awe nuts. I called my daughter. she said she would let me borrow, but I can not keep her gown. well duh. she was pretty crabby with me and I asked what the problem was. she said that

IT IS NOT FAIR that you can get into them but I can not.

I said THAT was not fair. she has a choice. each day. a choice. I made a choice. each day I make it. no one puts the food in her mouth. no one put the food in my mouth. I got MO all by myself. yes I had a lot of outside stressors but I learned that ultimately I choose how to deal with those stressors.

she chooses as well. she was still pretty pouty, but I am not going to be fat to make her feel comfortable. I also do not see the need to buy another $130 dress when I bought her 5 and her sister 4 in the four years that they were in high school and they fit me now. that is just impractical. I sure do not begrudge my other other daughter borrowing my fluffy clothes now that she is 5 months pregnant, it is just practical.

should I get all missish because my daughter is wearing my regular clothes as maternity clothes? was I fat. DUH. I got over it. dd#1 can get over it. I should be missish at her for taking so long to be born, the doctor said I would go 6 weeks early with twins, I went full term and had to be induce, I skyrocketed from 150 to 211 with her and her fluffy prego sister.

can I blame her for being fluffy? nah. but it would be nice. ;)

I just went to the closet. my closet. I got MY prom gown out, (yes, I still have it) and I tried it on

Oh My Freaking Fourth of July!

now I can not get it zipped up, that would be enough to cause hospitalization from a massive stroke, but I got it ON, and I got my armies in the sleevies and my boobies in the busties...

I love the color (cranberry) and while the sleeves (poofs) are so 25 years ago... I thought about tailoring the sleeves. I really need to find a good seemstress between now and then. ;-) I am freaking thinking why the hell not?

it is VINTAGE and it will fit in January! I will be so so so to die for wearing my prom gown!