Friday, June 01, 2007

Diet On Track

okay, I am being better behaved this week


[x] vits
[x] fluids

B: 6 oz Cottage Cheese & 1/3 cup Tropical Fruit
20 oz coffee/1% milk/1tsp vanilla/1.5 Tb splenda

L: 1 grilled cheese sandwich (2 slices of bread, 1.5 slices of cheese, 1 Tb margarine)
2 oz tomato soup

12 oz coffee/1% milk/1tsp vanilla/1.5 Tb splenda
2 calcium chews

D: 8 oz praline pecans
1 medium banana

S: 3/4 bag of popcorn, 12 toasted mini marshmallows

weight: 144.5 lbs (up .5 from last week, but down 1.5 from three days ago)

Calories: 1593 Fat: 109 Carbs: 118 Protein: 51

okay the breakdown
fat: 62% Carbs: 25% protein 13%

[[ range of 20 to 35 percent for total dietary fat. The acceptable range of carbohydrates is 45-65, while protein should comprise between 10 and 35 percent of daily calories (40 grams/day for females).]]

(GOOD GRACIOUS: how in the world did I sqeak in that many calories? okay, 50% of that was the pecans.. and that is a healthy choice, but WOW! and 1/4 was the sandwich, also still a healthy choice, compared to the greasy alternatives in the drive through of the golden arches)

okay checked on the poly / mono / sat fat thingy:
sat bad - 12%
poly good -16%
mono great - 31%

okay back on track... I KNOW what I am eating, I KNOW what I need to do each day and NO MORE DONUTS. heehee

***Morning Sex UPDATE***

so we proceeded to round 2 last night. lights on but bra and very nice skimpy swimsuit cover, however, it did lose some effect in the fact that I had to come into the room more or less nakid to get the cover.

I felt much better about me, he didn't touch anything that I didn't want to.


what if's ran through my head

what if this is not the only way

what if we could just be normal

what if I really could just FIX IT instead of hide it, mold it, shape it, but actually BE

would it be worth it to put up with drains, tubes, anesthesia AGAIN, pain and agony again.
I dismissed it and concluded the job at hand, but today

it resurfaced again. what if

what if I could find a stellar local surgeon

what if I could get insurance to cover 80%

what if I could get up the courage to go through the recovery period again

what if I could get through the pain and worse the PITA of tubes, drains, and 'stuff'

I know that I think that I was a complete IDIOT to not get RNY years ago. my husband is holding out that nature will solve all my problems, I am 90% sure that THAT will never happen to the degree that I am not wanting just due to the shear fact of carrying the twins and nursing 5 kids for a total of 61 months.

then there is the other when's

when can I afford to do it

when can I afford to take time to do it

when is the right time postop to do it.

what if I wait another 5 years and discover that just like the WLS, I wasted those 5 years, I could have been so much healthier.

A person could spend 3 days talking to themselves non stop if they let themselves.