Underwear

UNDERWEAR
*&^% #(* #@)(* *(&(&#$^*^!!!! @(*&#$^+_)) !+@_#)#($*

#)@@(*&^% ?"}~ ~++@##$ )(#*$&%^!!!!!

*&^% #(* #@)(* *(&(&#$^*^!!!! @(*&#$^+_)) !+@_#)#($*

#)@@(*&^% ?"}~ ~++@##$ )(#*$&%^!!!!!

I have had it with the bra industry. I am not a 36 I am not a 38, I am not a C and I am not a D and I am not going to take it anymore

*&^% #(* #@)(* *(&(&#$^*^!!!! @(*&#$^+_)) !+@_#)#($*

#)@@(*&^% ?"}~ ~++@##$ )(#*$&%^!!!!!

*&^% #(* #@)(* *(&(&#$^*^!!!! @(*&#$^+_)) !+@_#)#($*

#)@@(*&^% ?"}~ ~++@##$ )(#*$&%^!!!!!

Monday, Monday.. so good to me

Gooooooooooooood Mooooooooooooooooorning. ;-)

couple of things this week. Saturday is my big EVENT day. I have rented a whole building, with fantastic parking, I have two confirmed appointments. I am sure I will get more this week. right? cross your fingers with me.

I plan to go out today and contact 10 daycares in a 5 mile radius and 10 tomorrow. offering them my services and inviting them to see me in action on Saturday.

I have 100 invitations post cards for Saturdays event that I will pass out this week. (I already passed out 133 invitations in October, so I just have to keep going!

big changes in our house this weekend. moved my office into the spare bedroom, with a nice tv to show my images. moved the boys out of the nursery and into the master suite, we are in the large bedroom not the suite, and moved the weight / work out room into the nursery. changed out the tv's, my husband upgraded to a 50" plasma so that I can show slide shows downstairs. I got his 33" flat screen (not a flat screen tv, but a flat screen old tube thingamabob, my 27" went to dd#2 and her 20" went to dd#1 and HER 13" will go to ds(offspring #4) trickle down economics alive and well in our house. ;)

so today I have some more cleaning to do, and then PICTURES!!! this is fantastic that it is DONE, my parents are coming for a couple of months in January, so getting it all done NOW is a good thing! I have to hem the new curtains in the downstairs 'batcave' and make some for the upstairs "nest'

the story about the 'batcave' and 'nest'

my husband is a nocturnal electronics junkie. sitting in a darkened room, hunched over a keyboard with a 19" monitor or slouched down on a black leather couch with the remote and a kickass surround sound is idea of BLISS. FINE. he has a computer that is dedicated to recording HD shows, he has another computer that is dedicated to his CD collection. (that is just insane) and he is able to make custom DVD's of the kids pbs shows and whatnot. FINE. he is happy. whatever. heehee

so I decided that I really need to get my own remote. I discovered that my stereo can be a receiver, kewl. I have SURROUND sound. I inherited his IPaq (music station) and can put MY MUSIC on it, I inherited his fake oak entertainment center and he got my crabby tv stand since his tv wont fit in the center. my ginormous speakers just barely fit in the center (these are so 1984 but way kewl! Sony speakers) I have my own replay, I have my own dvd and I have my own svideo vcr. I am in tall cotton.

I commadiered dd#2 bedroom after she moved out, and now it has my computer, a second entertainment center for scanner, files, office stuff, and my dvd collection, snicker giggle okay, I am turning into a electronic junkie as well. but I am totally happy with stuff that we bought in 1998, I do not need the latest and greatest. but now I can truly appreciate how nice it is to organize my 'nest' and then shut the door and not worry about the kids touchy touchy. now they never touch my stuff so much as they bring their stuff in and scatter, like legos, frustrates the dickens out of me when they have guns, legos, and army men on the floor in rooms other than the toy room. hopefully we are at a happy place right now. ;)

okay, breakfast is calling me. (I have been up for 2 hours, already have the upstairs SPOTLESS, and the downstairs just needs the floors vaccumed and the counters finished washed) whoo hoo!!!

as for my diet, down 1 pound. yippee.. I am 21 lbs from my goal, and 31 lbs from my husbands goal for me. which is a whole nother ISSUE.


FUNNY:
"She offered her honor, I honored her offer, and all night long I was on her and off her."

Food:

2 vitamins
B: 1 oz blueberries
3 oz cottage cheese

L: 1/8 cup garden salad with ranch
1/2 cup tomato with bean soup (olive garden)
24 oz ice tea with splenda

D: 1 oz chicken
.5 oz broccoli

S: 12 oz protein smoothie:

2 oz orange juice,
3 oz strawberry kefir,
2 cubes ice,
2 oz passion fruit isopure clear,
1 oz frozen blueberries

needed a frozen banana, but I was out.

Same Ol' Grunge

my first holiday session today was at 9:30 am, two parents, 3 kids under 6 years old. it was pretty good, took 2 hours, didnt get the 'family' one, but now I know better.

my next session is at 400, two parents and two kids. I have got to get this nailed down. I have 10 sessions next saturday.

drove out into the country and got a case of homemade jam for lunches (6 months supply)

eating my steak for lunch like a good girl.

Bah Hum Bug Indeed

62 days until christmas.

in my defense. I buy all the gifts for my 5 children. I buy all the gifts for my parents and my inlaws. I put up the tree, I decorate the house, I do all the baking. I do all the shopping for the dinner, I plan out the menu, come christmas morning, I put the big fat bird in the oven. I cooke everything that day from scratch, deviled eggs, glorified rice salad, candied yams, mashed potatoes, pepper gravy, cranberry stuffing, fresh homemade bread, I stuff the stockings, I make the home cooked breakfast (pancakes/hashbrowns/bacon/eggs)
when it comes to gifts. I usually get one from my parents (check for $35). one from his parents (re-gifted jewelry) and one from him (last year a book). usually I will get something from the dollar store from two of the kids.

THAT is MY christmas. it is excruciating difficult to keep 'giving' for the last 29 years, (yes, I have been IN CHARGE of christmas since I was 13 and still get excited, when I am THE ONLY ONE. they rip through the goodies, they play with the goodies, they gobble up the food and say thank you. but you know, it just doesnt 'give me pleasure' anymore.

just one year, I would like to have someone go gungho about the holiday for me. to treat me. to buy me a birthday cake (my birthday is 6 days before and so far I think my husband has bought me one special birthday cake in 10 years.

goodness gracious sakes alive.

I feel TONS better about what I ate

2 flintstones complete

B: 1 oz organic blueberries
2 oz organic cottage cheese

S: .5 oz belgium chocolate
17 oz talking rain SF sparkling water

L: 1 oz organic chicken
2 flintstones complete

D: 1 homemade norwegian waffle (6 in diameter) (eggs,milk,flour,baking soda, cardamon)

S: 3 oz organic sweet potatoes

Totals 303 cal
11 fat
30 carbs
21 protein

WLSerenity Prayer

I am finding that I am getting away with A LOT more today than I could three months ago.

now I know that honeymoon is not just 'my' honeymoon, but my pouch's honeymoon. today I sucked down a regular pop, I just know that blew my caloric intake limit.

repeat after me:
God? grant me the serenity to step away from the Carbs.
to accept that lean meats and leafy greens was my choice forever
the courage to call my carb sponsor when I feel the need to eat TWO hushpuppies from Long John Silvers the same day I sucked down a 20 oz RooT BeeR
and the wisdom to know that a 4 oz pouch can not hold 6 oz of chili, chips and cheese from Wendys!
amen

the Calm before the STORM

it will be 'quiet' at work for 10 days and then I will be GONE for a week... that is going to be insane!

I have 100 children, and 40 families scheduled over 4 days. I could quite possibly go stark raving mad!

the children should take 10 minutes each but the families are 30 minutes.. what a blessed nightmare.

as for me personally.

friday night I woofed down asparagus, didnt chew it properly, and barfed it up saturday night.

sunday night I was very good and left the house before the homemade pizza came out of the oven, and had a wendy's chili instead.

monday I had chicken fajita fixings without any carbs, i was such a good girl, after consuming a gargantuon bag of baked kettle potato chips.

today I was pretty good. cottage cheese, chili, chicken. but not enough fluids to keep a cockroach alive. but my CHILDREN are going to be the death of me, they are quite possibly the most needing creatures known to man.

one called, she needed $10 (she makes 100x more a month than I do, and she needed some sympathy that he hurt her leg horseback riding, and she needed some sympathy that she had a cold)

the other called, she needed a tank of gas, and she needed someone to help her cash her payroll check, and support her since she is quiting her job (4 years with the company, using her pregnancy as an excuse) and

the other other one is just being silly about her teeth not being as white as the new baby at daycare, and of course do not get me started on

the boys, I had to take one to chess club today and the other stayed home from school due to vomiting yesterday)

one of the things that I was thinking about today was that I checked online post weight loss support group all weekend and really didnt see anything that perked my interested to post too. and I was wondering, do I really need 'support' now that I know what I can and can not do, what I should and should not do, and whatnot. I did call my surgery buddy in wisconsin and got some 'support', so I would have to say, yes, I still need a buddy system. and maybe that was my issue, that I didnt see anything 'to me' in my 'in' box.

now I do not resort to snacking when I get sad from an empty in box, but I do see that I do miss having goodies in my inbox.

I noticed that when I post, everyone posts back, but when I do not post, no one posts to me (until now) no, this was not a blatant attention fishing expedition, just think that I am not alone, we all like warm fuzzies, course I am one of those really wierd people that get a giggle out of cold pricklies from time to time, just shows how warped I really am.

but *sigh* feedback feels good. feedback makes you feel part of the group. so I know that I still need to be on the 'list' to see how everyone else is doing, and share how I am doing. ;) now I do have serious issues with this new format on the board, 1/2 the time I can not even get on the board, I get error messages. that is frustrating as hell.

The Female of the Species

1911
When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man,
He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can.
But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws,
They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws.
'Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man's timid heart is bursting with the things he must not say,
For the Woman that God gave him isn't his to give away;
But when hunter meets with husband, each confirms the other's tale --
The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man, a bear in most relations-worm and savage otherwise, --
Man propounds negotiations, Man accepts the compromise.
Very rarely will he squarely push the logic of a fact
To its ultimate conclusion in unmitigated act.

Fear, or foolishness, impels him, ere he lay the wicked low,
To concede some form of trial even to his fiercest foe.
Mirth obscene diverts his anger --- Doubt and Pity oft perplex
Him in dealing with an issue -- to the scandal of The Sex!

But the Woman that God gave him, every fibre of her frame
Proves her launched for one sole issue, armed and engined for the same;
And to serve that single issue, lest the generations fail,
The female of the species must be deadlier than the male.

She who faces Death by torture for each life beneath her breast
May not deal in doubt or pity -- must not swerve for fact or jest.
These be purely male diversions -- not in these her honour dwells.
She the Other Law we live by, is that Law and nothing else.

She can bring no more to living than the powers that make her great
As the Mother of the Infant and the Mistress of the Mate.
And when Babe and Man are lacking and she strides unclaimed to claim
Her right as femme (and baron), her equipment is the same.

She is wedded to convictions -- in default of grosser ties;
Her contentions are her children, Heaven help him who denies! --
He will meet no suave discussion, but the instant, white-hot, wild,
Wakened female of the species warring as for spouse and child.

Unprovoked and awful charges -- even so the she-bear fights,
Speech that drips, corrodes, and poisons -- even so the cobra bites,
Scientific vivisection of one nerve till it is raw
And the victim writhes in anguish -- like the Jesuit with the squaw!

So it cames that Man, the coward, when he gathers to confer
With his fellow-braves in council, dare not leave a place for her
Where, at war with Life and Conscience, he uplifts his erring hands
To some God of Abstract Justice -- which no woman understands.

And Man knows it! Knows, moreover, that the Woman that God gave him
Must command but may not govern -- shall enthral but not enslave him.
And She knows, because She warns him, and Her instincts never fail,
That the Female of Her Species is more deadly than the Male.

Weigh In -101 lbs! (7 months 2 weeks)

Last week - 179lbs
This week - 174lbs
Total loss - 101lbs

I finally made it to the century club 'officially'

my highest weight was 285 in 2001, but I lost 40 lbs on my own, and gained back 30, so my official starting point was 275 in March 2006. I am not sure if I was more jazzed about the century club when I 'quietly' hit the 100 mark at 185 or today at 174.

either way, it is a lot of change for me. had a guy that is friends with my dh come over last night, he was talking about his weight loss (he has lost 20 lbs) and how he could relate to mine, being cold and whatnot without the extra lbs for insulation. I was 'very understanding' but in my head, I was thinking. 'bubba, you do not know squat about being cold, I am standing in houston texas with a wool sweater on that I bought in norway to keep from freezing to death, and your still packing an extra 60 lbs to keep your fanny warm) but I just smiled and nodded. he was so proud of himself for eating 1000 calories a day on his diet. he audiably gasped when I explained that I was eating 6 oz a day and 400 calories. he obviously was not ready for THAT kind of commitment.

squishy babies and icky tummy

work:
OMG... 21 babies on Tuesday, 29 toddlers today I am EXHAUSTED

the babies are from ages 8 weeks to 12 months
the toddlers are from 2 years to 4 years

krys was wiped out as well~

diet:
I throw up, not daily, but frequently. I never have a problem with making it to the restroom, so I am pretty discreet.

last night was a typical situation. breakfast was fine. same ol same ol

lunch was fine, same ol, same ol cottage cheese

dinner was fine, piece of pork chop,

then my daughter and I stopped in the mall and she got a chicken noodle soup. I had

1 noodle, and 1 piece of chicken.

1!

and within seconds, I knew that I was not going to keep it down. we walked out to the car, I felt wretched. we drove 17 miles towards her house, finally I had to pull over, and get out of the car and up came the noodle and the chicken.

I got back in the car, drove her home, and then went home myself, so about 45 minutes after the noodle and chicken, I was home and there was the REAL stomach content emptying session. and then I layed down, watched some tv, and felt fine.

this happens about three times a week, it seriously is no big deal. it is just something that happens, I try something that doesnt agree with me. teusday it was refried beans with jalepenoes. and it came back up. last week it was a deepfried mozzarella cheese stick.

mostly it is the pouch saying, no, bad choice, get it out of here!

need to schedule my blood work, I hate needles. I hate needles, I hate hate hate needles.

and did I make it clear

I HATE NEEDLES!

however, I get my labwork done every 90 days for the last 4 years and now it is to the point that I am okay, I am a quick poke, and with a good phlebotomist I am in and out.

my last results were 10x better than before surgery! whoohoo! I used to be the 'bad news bears' with my results. At one point my triglycerides were so bad 150+ they said that I was practically a solid! heehee now they are under 100.. it is good news.

You know when...

* I have a date" does not mean you're going out.
* You have baby food in the house and no baby.
* "I'm a loser" is a good thing.
* All of your silverware says Gerber.
* A wooden spoon isn't just for cooking.
* "Welcome to the other side" doesn't include death.
* New clothes fall off in a week.
* You get excited about hand me downs.
* The scale at Wal-Mart no longer says "one at a time please".
* Going bald and getting wrinkles is a good thing.
* "Just water for me please".
* Hitting the "Century Mark" is actually a good thing.
* You can be touched by an angel and still not be considered crazy.
* When your rear end no longer looks like a mudslide.
* When you get excited that your incision was "only 4 inches".
* When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club.
* Other women are calling you names behind your back.
* When you are glared at in the plus size department because you don't "belong there".
* When you really don't have a thing to wear.
* You have to prove you are the person on the drivers license.
* You start being in the pictures not behind the camera.
* You want to hug everyone fat and hand them your surgeon's card.
* You are never parted from a bottle of water
* When you order a doggy bag at the same time as your meal.
* Being too small for your britches.
* When the only way your nipples are where they belong is to roll them up, position them with your bra and secure with a ponytail holder.
* When you go pick up your child at school and all the other kids say WOW you're mom is hot.
* When you go to the mall and take the first available space instead of circling 20 minutes for one closer to the door.
* You truly are a "cheap date".
* When one drink makes you flipping floozy!
* When you run to the door and don't hear a flapping sound.
* You flip your shirt to show complete strangers your scar.
* Vitamins feel like a meal.
* You go from a 56DDDD to 32AAA in a year and didn't have a breast reduction.
* You've just lost 100 lbs and run into a high school friend who asks "did you change your hair?"
* You can cross your legs... both of them
* Instead of a Wonder Bra you need a Wonder Where They Went Bra
* When your obsession from food turns to your scale.
* They no longer call 911 for the Jaws of life to extricate you from a turnstile.
* No more Velcro shoes
* Tongs are no longer to fry chicken.
* "Checking for leaks" no longer includes your panties
* When your Stairmaster is no longer used for drying your fine washables
* Your mother says "You don't eat enough"
* When your doctor looks you in the eye and says "I know you will have success with this."
* Having sex your husband complains that your hip bones are poking him.
* You can wear corduroy pants without igniting a fire
* When you wave and your upper arms wave back
* You safety pin your underwear
* Someone phones and thinks your husband is sneaking around with some skinny mistress
* Cannot blame the cat for shedding
* Cancel your Lane Bryant Credit Card
* 3 Lean Cuisines a week and that's your total grocery purchase
* The kids wonder what happened to the cake and cookie god...did he die???

Happy Dance

food:
breakfast: 1/8th protein bar, 1/5 waffle
lunch: Yankee Stew
dinner: halibut

drinks:
water
crystal light
water

exersize:
grocery shopping

work:
processed three large orders, one with 19 images, one with 2 images, and one with 5 images and two collages. I feel good. I feel confident.

I set up a hikey in my garage and I am going to master it, doing better each time I work on it. gives me the giggles. I still need to promote myself to the daycares, but this is important work as well. better lighting, better photography, better person. have to make a list of goals for next week.

weight: 176 lbs... AF is here again, so I am bloated, will be more confident of my weight next week when this is over. should see another monster slide down the scales.

Monthly Doctor weigh in- checking progress

I went to the doctor today (Monthly) and weighed on the fancy smancy scales. those are soo kewl

here are the stats a day early:
......9/13--------->10/12
lbs: 189--------->178
BMI: 29.6-------->27.9
fat%: 37.6------->34.4%
fat mass: 71lb---->61lb (YEAH!! Nearly ALL FAT very little MUSCLE LOSS!!!)

I lost 1 lb of muscle and 10 lbs of fat

fat mass: goal <60.5 lb so I am .5 lb of fat away from 'high-normal' for a woman of 40 and 5ft 7in.

naturally YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY, but this was a good for me, the expectations were 2.5 lbs a week, and I did 2.75 lbs a week. still moving down the slide.

Pride in Myself, Pride in My accomplishments

having surgery was selfish and totally about me, and totally about time. As mom's we really do not give ourself permission enough to do something that is JUST FOR US for such an extended period of time. it is really hard to say, "No, I can not run and do whatever for you, I am doing this for me". what is really wierd is that my family are totally supportive. "okay, so you can not do it now, how long before you can do it? 20-30 minutes. fine, I can wait." the whole freaking world does not go off orbit when I do not drop everything for them. it is so surreal.

today was not a stellar day for fluids, about 20 oz total so far
food was strange, cottage cheese okay, protein shake (gag) tomato soup (enh) 1/4 hard boiled egg, (double enh) and 1/4 grill cheese on whole wheat) (augh).
I ended up HUNGRY but knowing there was no room about 1 hour after dinner, started chewing on my nails a lot lately. not sure what is up with that. stress yes, but from what? do not know. Happier now than in YEARS, so will need to do some more research on that. could be the 'drama' shows that I am watching that are stressing me out, do not know.

frustrated as all get out with my website host, site has been down for 11 days, today I had to forward all my sites to a different site, and that is totally bugging my email. now I have to go fix that!

Queen Worrier

:=)

since you are just dying to know, I will talk about ME

since it is all about ME!

hehehe

it is october right? why is it 90+ degrees here daily? too freaking wierd.

it is october, so everyone is starting to think about family photos for christmas, I am not getting as many calls as I would like. grrr some, but not nearly enough.

my tummy is rumbly still. not handling foods with all the stress very well. I went from 180 in 1990 with naomi to 285 in 2001 with magnus down to 242 in 2005 on my own and back up to 275 by march 2006 and now with the limited intake, the limited absorbtion I am down to........


drum roll please.......

177 lbs. 1989 weight... I can say that I am happy, nervous, thrilled, scared, happy, and overwhelmed. now that I am down this far, what if it doesnt stop. what if I end up like some that get down to 115 and struggle to just maintain at that? it seems like a dream when you fighting the first 100 lbs, but it could happen when your get to this point. I still loose 3.6 lbs a week, I am not exersizing, I am not restricting my diet by content, I am eating carbs and stuff. but I am not slowing down. for now, one thing at at time, to get down another 27 lbs, but naturally I am a worrier. I am not happy if I am not worrying.

Four Agreements

* Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

* Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

* Don’t Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

* Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

I am Happy today

gracious, every once in a while, totally unrelated to PMS, I turn into a pathological-psychopath (wonder if that is a real Dx). I do not know exactly what started it, but I am guessing finding out that I was 'fished' and 'sniped' by my auto insurance regarding my homeowners insurance. I know that it started a week ago friday, and today, day 8, I woke up and it went away. two days after I finally confessed to my husband of the blunder. (I even called my bank to make sure that I was not being "phished' and "sniped" and they concured that it was ligitimate, but on the day that the check for $1488.00 was to go out, I called and double checked with a third party, and found out that my initial instinct was correct, it was a scam and I was pretty unhappy.

completely going nuts over our finances, the stress of the monthly payments for this business ($550/month) and trying to market for the fall / winter and make enough money to make ends meet. and my electronic junkie husband going COMPLETELY ape(fecal material) and making some choices that I do not feel comfortable with (he shops at Circuit City and BestBuy, I shop at Goodwill and Salvation Army)

because of all that tormoil that has been going on since august 20th, (spending $1500 in fixing a bathroom, doing all the work myself, to get inspected for this insurance, paying $100 for the inspection for this insurance) had my tummy so upset that every day, I would eat, but by bedtime I threw it all back up due to nerves.

now ignoring all that brewhaha, I am happy today. which says a lot, most days I am NOT happy. as a matter of fact, god seems to have my periods completely backwards, because I am only happy once a month, and it lasts about a weekend. ;-)

today I was a 'dynamo' I was getting my holiday prices fine tuned (COGS=10%) getting my price cards printed out to go with my displays (THIS IS SO TOTALLY ROCKING!, getting my display completely jammin! I am loving it. getting my fall Limited Edition and my Christmas Limited Edition put together. I am just screamingly happy. no there are no photos yet, but by thursday, my orders from aci should be here and then I can post the results.

but I just wanted to share that I am happy.

The Devil

You Are The Devil

You don't represent evil, but you do represent the animalistic side of humans. You demonstrate what happens when we listen to our first instincts. At times you tend to be materialistic and hedonistic, giving in to temptation. Admit it, you're guilty of acting first - and forgetting to think later! Your fortune: Right now, you may be having a difficult time as a result of choices you have made. You need to think about what's important in your life, and discover what chains you down. It is the time to acknowledge your faults and take steps to overcome them. It's also the time to let go of any fears or inhibitions that are holding you back.

What Tarot Card Are You?

The Tube

oh, this totally ROCKS.

for those that watched MTV in 1982/83 and miss the totally purity of it.

THE TUBE we actually get this on our tv! on channel KHCW 39 (The CW) DT2 which is a subchannel of 39, available with HD signal. I watched about 4 hours last night and it totally rocked!

no commercials. no advertising. no reality shows. no award shows. no game shows. just music. how radical an idea is that?

Rocking Out

Fitday

what did I eat today?
today (I am 4 months 4 days post surgery) I had:

3 oz cottage cheese
7 oz 1% chocolate milk
1 oz blueberries

2 oz deli chicken

2 snicker doodle cookies

2 oz zucchini
20 oz zipfizz

lets see what fit day says about me?
Total: 429 calories
Fat: 13 grams
Sat: 04 grams (increases LDL)
Poly: 03 grams (lowers LDL)
Mono: 05 grams (lowers LDL)
Trans: 00 grams (good good good)
Carbs: 46 grams (bad bad bad)
Fiber: 02 grams
Protein: 33 grams

while the cookies are not part of the program and are definately not going to help me reach my goal, Iwould say that fitday is honest with me. yes, my calories are good, but my carbs and fat need some attention. tomorrow I need to reduce the cookies, increase the fiber, and I will balance out. and my scale will reflect it by dropping. (which it did not do today) it just reaffirmed with fitday that snickerdoodles are not LEAN MEATS nor are they LEAFY GREEN VEGETABLES. hehehehe

Back to the Drawing board

four months ago, I was just starting out, now I am back to having issues.

eat this and get sick
bend here and get sick, it sucks

today was a normal day, other than not getting enough fluids. tried to get some an hour after dinner, and threw up dinner. that stinks.

friday it started:
but I think that I may have something benign:

about 4 days ago, I started nibbing on fried pork rinds. a little high on the sodium chart, but not too bad.

about 3 days ago, I was low on my fluids that day, about 20 oz total,

same day I had some corn on the cob after dinner. not a lot, but enough to give me a REACTION of the nature.

at that point, I do not know what contributed to the problem, I thought that it was some or all of the above. but

later that night, HOLY CRUD. my stomache started hurting, right underneath the incision point for my pouch, it felt like it was on fire.

I drank 24 oz of chamomile tea and felt better as long as I didnt move. anytime I stretch, bend, or twist, a SHARP pain happens.

the next day I baked like a mad woman, no ill effects, but if I bent over, smooshing that area, a SHARP pain happens. I was low on fluids again, but by the end of the day, I had gotten in another 24 oz of chamomile tea.

today, I am doing okay on the fluids, the pain is still bothering me but only when I am laying down, reach over and stretch some muscles.

I am concerned that it could be gallbladder, or acid reflux, or torn ligament, or gawdknowswhat.

I have not been 'religious' about my actigall, I am still on my 3rd Rx, and I got it filled in August, so I am at less than 50% success rate of remembering the stuff.

the 'trigger' was the corn, I was so sick from that and just feeling icky ever since, but no fever, so no infection.

I think that I am leaning more towards a hernia or ulcer, but mostly hernia. I can feel a little lump right under the incision scar, that would be right at the pouch area.

either way, I am going to call on monday and let the expert have a go at it. no nausea, which is a good thing, I have been drinking 2x my normal amounts of chamomile tea which has been kinder, if not helping anything.

I hate second guessing every single little twinge that my body makes, it would seem that 4 months post op, I would be out of the woods by now, but there seems to be new 'issues' cropping up. I did call, they will not see me until friday. I am to call tuesday and give the nurse and update.

I was not even going to call, it was getting better, and then I was crawling under my desk and HOLY GUACAMOLE, I pulled something and I was in tears it hurt so bad, I revised my plan and called after I got my breath back.

they can not get me in until friday, so I guess it is not life threatening. the rest of today was okay, I sat in my chair and did not move. ;) until dinner time. I ate my dinner. waited 50 minutes took two drinks from my bottle, and it all came right back up, waited for an hour, and got down 8 oz of chamomile tea. what a PITA. this is a routine that I could live without.

Did I move today?
sure I did, I moved out of the bed to the toilet
I moved out of the toilet to the kitchen for breakfast
I moved out of the kitchen to the office
I moved out of the office to the living room for lunch
I moved out of the living room to the office
I moved out of the office to the kitchen for dinner
I moved out of the kitchen back to the office to check in here
I moved all day long!

extra skin:
yes, right now my body looks like a puddle of silly puddy in the hot summer sun.

i sit and my legs puddle over the seat, I can see the bones and some muscles and the skin is just puddling

it is like melted popcicles. but I ignore my arms and legs, i put on short sleeve shirts and shorts and I just face the day. my belly fat is the most improved by inches and still the most troublesome area, it is still a big fat belly. I do not care, honestly.

my heart is healthy and not trying to push all that blood all over the place. I am just going to ignore the skin and keep on living.

my plan is more moisturizers to help with the elasticity of the skin, right now my skin is so dry.

Food:
B: Cottage Cheese & Blueberries
L: Wendy's Chili
D: Chicken & Tomato

Liquids:
4 oz water
7 oz chocolate milk
9 oz SF on the go
7 oz chocolate milk
9 oz of Chamomile tea
36 oz.. not good.

LOL

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place:

First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."

Second guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."

Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."

They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him."You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"

Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex" and she said,"Wear sun-block."