Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Pride in Myself, Pride in My accomplishments

having surgery was selfish and totally about me, and totally about time. As mom's we really do not give ourself permission enough to do something that is JUST FOR US for such an extended period of time. it is really hard to say, "No, I can not run and do whatever for you, I am doing this for me". what is really wierd is that my family are totally supportive. "okay, so you can not do it now, how long before you can do it? 20-30 minutes. fine, I can wait." the whole freaking world does not go off orbit when I do not drop everything for them. it is so surreal.

today was not a stellar day for fluids, about 20 oz total so far
food was strange, cottage cheese okay, protein shake (gag) tomato soup (enh) 1/4 hard boiled egg, (double enh) and 1/4 grill cheese on whole wheat) (augh).
I ended up HUNGRY but knowing there was no room about 1 hour after dinner, started chewing on my nails a lot lately. not sure what is up with that. stress yes, but from what? do not know. Happier now than in YEARS, so will need to do some more research on that. could be the 'drama' shows that I am watching that are stressing me out, do not know.

frustrated as all get out with my website host, site has been down for 11 days, today I had to forward all my sites to a different site, and that is totally bugging my email. now I have to go fix that!