Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Morning Sex


yep, you know who you are. you are the one. the one that is too tired at the end of the day.

you are just much better in the morning. morning sex. *sigh*

okay. so here is the question.. and no this is not limited to morning sex people, afternoon sex, evening sex, weekend sex and middle of the night sex people please chime in.


I am below goal. I am happy. I am buying the skimpy little outfits, My darling hubby is totally loving this. he is showing some SERIOUS appreciation for the new me. [course he was a hound dawg with the old me. he is an all-hours-of-the-day sex dawg.]

my question, I swear I am getting to it.

do you freeze up when your lover is about to touch a part of you that is just dangly? I have not had plastic surgery, I have a HORRENDOUSLY bad blob of skin on my belly and well lets just say that the girls are **S*A*D** (like men's tube socks and only 1 cup of rice in the bottom, sad-sad-sad)

I was in the mood, which is rare, I was doing fine, and then he went to touch my belly, froze, because he knows that it wigs me out, and that was all it took, the pheromones went poof from the room, and I was ice cold. he concluded his business and it was unremarkable.

THE WHOLE POINT of this was to get healthy and be healthy enough to have GREAT SEX with him.

I had not planned to get plastics because I thought that the angry red scar around my middle would be an even worse turn off than having this grotesque flap of skin hanging there, but gracious. this is debilitating.

so I find myself wondering. when is it ever enough? loosing 130 lbs should be enough? going from size 22/24 to 2/4 should be enough. not having skin hanging down 6 inches would be healthier or just sexier?

once I have that done, what about the 'girls' ? is it vanity? or is it necessity? am I fighting the clock or regretting a lifetime of bad choices and now trying to justify $10K on a body lift?

I carried twins full term, they were 6lb 8oz each, I have born 5 huge children (last one was 11 lbs 3 oz) and breastfed them all (last one 22 months) so I know that time has "marched on" on my body.

I really do not think that I am vain, I do not want anything done to my face or arms. Am I justifying? or am I sincerely in need of some modifications to keep me healthier? am I loosing my mind typing to myself on an open forum?