Friday, March 28, 2008

body by sara lee?

I find that I have a muffin top billowing out over my belt on my pants and think. this is so much better than it was two years ago.

the scales have inched up nearly 10 lbs from when I was hysterically freaking out that I was never going to stop losing, this is so much better than it was a year ago.

I am not taking any medication for any previous ailments, this is so much better than the last 20 years.

my body will go into a sugar coma if I over indulge, I am still able to get cues from my body, and that is much better than I imagined.

head hunger sucks... and that is what I am sure is sabotaging my currently. I find that I am HOOVERING pillow mints or trail mix and I truly have to fight myself to just stop and back away from the food.

I ran into a 'friend' in the store yesterday, she totally didn't recognize me, and I didn't bother to say hi, what was the point, if she had been a friend, she wouldn't have missed out on the last two years and the change wouldn't have been so drastic that she didn't recognize me. I have maintained a net loss of 125.5 lbs.

the part that has not changed and kept up with 'me' is my head. I still do not believe 'in me' yet, I am still very critical of my self and my abilities and my future. there are times that I really do not feel confident in getting a certain size, that there is no wiggle room in should I gain another 5 lbs.

reformed? yes. complete? no.