Wednesday, July 19, 2006

stupid is as stupid does

the doctor said: lean meats and leafy green vegetables.

I said: yeah right.

week one:
eggs, with or without yoke does not make a difference, all make me nauseated as hell. with salsa are my favorite breakfast, so that totally sucks.

week two:
I had four sips of lemonade, and puked my guts out. I regretted the lemonade. the very essence of DUMPING

week three:
cauliflower, SUPPOSED to be BENIGN, tremendous gas.. big nono oh nono

week four:
so I ate 1/2 a radish and puked my guts out. I regretted the radish. (side bar, the blood red beat that went down after the radish was oh so lovely coming back up!!)

week five:
cinnamon roll... foamies.. yeast ball in the tummy, puke, nauseated. ;-( bad kitty kat, bad bad kitty kat
cheapo hamburger meat, meatballs. also supposedly benign, not even LEAN means LEAN. this stuff is just toxic waste. mental note avoid at all costs.

week six:
granola is highly overrated, hit the tummy like a ton of bricks.
a soft pretzel, and alternatively puked foam, gagged, and puked my guts out. I regretted the pretzel TREMENDOUSLY.

sample tables at costco are dangerously alluring. first off, three tables and your pouch is STUFFED. secondly. those chips are evil. top with smoked salmon, innocent enough, topped with beans. BAD NEWS. bad bad bad news. what was I freaking thinking?

week seven:
so I ate hashbrowns and sausage gravy, and puked my guts out. I regretted the sausage gravy. there are moments when I just regret the concept of food.

the sad point is that I can not 'call anyone' for sympathy. I was given the idiot proof menu, I choose to break it, I have no one to blame but me. I can sit, look in the mirror and think, YOU is a BOZO!! You are a hard headed stubborn MULE. you just never freaking learn.

however, heehee I have learned that I can have tillamook ice cream, dry corn flakes, a couple of cookies, a little popcorn, some seedless green grapes.