Thursday, July 20, 2006

Chinese Garden Colon Cleanse


it must be the MSG because while I have been craving Beef and Broccoli for weeks now, I never expected the total complete unadulterated colon cleanse that I got from one 1 oz serving.

now I have been stressing over the scale ever since this began. at first it was weekly weighins, then daily weighin's and then bidaily, and then quad daily, and that has continued. I tried going two weeks without the scale, but ultimately caved and bought a new one. I have replaced my addiction for stuffing stuff in my mouth with weighing myself. my mood swings fluxuate with the scale. I do not recommend it. I constantly tell myself that it is inaccurate, that I should wait until morning before food after pee, but the fact of the matter is that is what happens.

I chart my change, only recording if the scale moves and then keeping a permanent record of weekly measurements. my chart is practically my best friend. it makes me happy. today I updated it again. that being said, confessed, and absolved. no freaking wonder people get bleeding ulcers from this process. gracious me. the doctor told me 4 lbs a week. I missed the target by 1 lb this week and by 3 as it was looking yesterday. this is a lot of stress. this is a hard road to hold. or is it row to hoe? I never can figure that one out! it makes it very difficult to focus on any thing else.

at least I had the soundness of mind to do this during my summer break so that I do not have to focus on other things like work or kids or household chores. although those might be how others get through this, is focusing outside of the body. they may be the healthy ones.

so "downward movement" has made today a 'good day' and I do not want to fret anymore. I will stick to the plan, considering that deviating yesterday with hashbrowns and sausage gravy had negative impact. and we shall see how it goes.

I am just a bad bad kitty kat, (swishing tail, as I scamper off to get into trouble)