Thursday, March 04, 2010


Provident living:
I am married to a European that does not believe in shopping beyond tomorrow, let alone next week or next month or next year, if he had his way, he would buy only for the next two days, drives me absolutely insane. I know what our menu is, I know that we will need XX by Monday Night, why wait to buy it? but he insists. that really does help. know your weekly menu, and while boring, it helps to take the anxiety away.
breakfast and lunch are the same, oatmeal and pbj, knowing that this is every single week, cuts down on the grocery bill.

I can not stress how much easier my life became when I let go, and gave it all away. I was a stash and hoarder as well, I had the next three sizes for the kids, and yes, I saved a lot of money by recycling clothes and toys, but I put my health in jeapardy with stress of living in rooms with stuff stuffed and piled and stashed, and it was not healthy for me. my children have spotless rooms because they simply do not have a lot of material possessions and it is so much easier for all of us when I can walk in, and in 5 minutes have it picked up and company ready.

this program took me about 5 years to master, but it was well worth it, I still have hot spots around the house, but not like I had. take a moment and look at your house in the background in family photos, you would be surprised how messy mine was. I am ashamed that I let it get that way, but I didn't understand my mom when she was constantly harping on me to clean my room, exactly what she meant. it was not that things were out, they were, it was not that things were unorganized, they were not organized, but it was that I was storing things that didn't have value to me and had no room for the things that did. I went through and if it didn't have a story, it went and if hadn't been used in the last 18 months, it went. the only things that I have not purged is the books, but even those, I have filtered and donated a lot of the ones that are just not relevant and kept the classics in our library.

age appropriate homeschooling:
It seems to me, and this is just an opinion, worth about $.02, your children are still very young, and are not into the hard core academics yet, so I would work on just the basic basic basics.. reading, writing, and rithmatic. when all else fails, take them to the park. today's Pre-K lesson was a puzzle, and we were done for the day. ;-) our goal today is that I get through it without yelling anymore, and they learn not to scratch, whine, or steal my crackers.

My own battles:
my first kids, the twins, were LIVE WIRES and nearly drove me nuts with their precocious behavior, they were so bored. they needed to run and be free and I needed to take a nap, it is a wonder that we all survived those first 10 years. they were a lot more than I could handle and I still am not sure I was a good mom. but looking back, I was way too involved in their happiness. and too little involved in my own. and seriously, hats off to those moms that are 'dedicated' to their children's happiness, but I think (and this is my own irreverent interpretation) too many kids today have been led to believe that everyone will constantly and consistently put thier needs first because their parents made it a life long goal and seriously. That may be doing them a disservice. my husband's boss couldnt care less if he is happy and fulfilled at work. and in all seriously, when he looks at me that he is not happy at work, I tell him to suck it up and walk it off, we need the paycheck and until he force him out the door with his last check in his hand, he is going to go t work and keep money coming in to pay for luxuries like toilet paper and soap. I will do without a dryer, a car, and meat each week, but I strongly believe that it is not just my entitlement to stay home with my kids, but my duty. he may think that he wants me to go to work, but he truly doesn't want my job. to his credit, he does cook 5 nights a week, he does do laundry every weekend, and he will go to the store twice a week, but when it comes to homework, public or home schooled, activities, and play dates, parties and scouts, he is uninvolved and that will not cut it.

So frequently I forget to put myself first, to make sure that I am getting enough rest, that I am getting the right nutrition. and the right amount of mental health days. my work is not my hobby ad my kids are not my work. I need to get out and get away. sadly, I lost all my girls night out buddies and I seriously need to get a new group before I loose my mind and my fragile grip on reality. today I took some time, took a shower, didnt care if the house burnt down just so long as they left me alone to wash. it was a shock how much better I felt after I plucked out the greys, and washed what was left. I am not nearly as angry and I made it another hour.